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Blink 3 of 8 - The 5 AM Club
by Robin Sharma
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Drama Free summary
A Guide to Managing Unhealthy Family Relationships
17 mins
Brief summary
Drama Free by Nedra Glover Tawwab offers practical advice for setting boundaries, managing emotions, and building healthier relationships. Through real-life examples and exercises, readers learn to navigate conflicts with confidence and compassion.
Table of Contents
Drama Free
Summary of 6 key ideas
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Key idea 1 of 6
You can’t make somebody else change.
Meet Kelly and her troublesome brother, Jeff. Jeff has always been an entitled and manipulative bully, cruel with his words. Their other two siblings have already cut Jeff out of their lives, but Kelly can't. They were always close, and the thought of ending their relationship fills her with guilt.
If you’ve ever had to suffer through a family member's difficult or abusive behavior, then you may relate to Kelly’s struggle. You tell yourself you’re being patient or growing – that it’s just something you have to “deal with.” But it’s more likely you’re trying to tolerate the intolerable, which builds resentment, not patience. Something has to change.
Now, here’s a theme that will come up throughout this Blink, because it is absolutely, unequivocally true. You can’t, in any meaningful way, make somebody else change.
With that in mind, you have two options: you can persevere, or you can change yourself. If you’re reading this Blink, then you’ve probably been persevering for too long. So let’s look at how to change.
Changing a long-standing pattern of behavior isn’t simple, so we’ll break it down into five basic stages.
First, there’s precontemplation. Here, you’re not even aware of the problem; you make excuses or unconsciously hide any evidence of it.
After that is the contemplation stage. This is where Kelly is with her brother. It’s when you start to consider the value of changing. This often comes with guilt, which is completely normal. This is the most common time to enter therapy and talk through the problems.
Next is preparation. You’ll start experimenting with small changes – testing the water to see what’s possible. Kelly might tell her brother that what he said wasn’t OK. It doesn’t have to be consistent or successful, but you’re getting ready for the next stage: action.
In this phase, you accept the responsibility of changing and start doing what’s necessary. We’ll look at some more specific actions later – but basically, you’ll no longer adopt the attitude of a victim. You’ll need support during this time to process your feelings and stick to your decisions as you enter the final stage: maintenance.
This stage is ongoing. You repeat your new actions until they’re habits – and resist the temptation to slide back to how things were.
No matter what stage you’re at, remember one thing: you’re an adult, and you get to decide who you are as a person. So ask yourself now, who do you want to be? Think about a dysfunctional relationship you have with a family member, and make some notes about what stage of change you’re at.
Because that’s how change starts.
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What is Drama Free about?
Drama Free (2023) is a concise and thoughtful guide to navigating the negatives of one of the most fundamental and unavoidable aspects of our lives: family. Covering a wide range of topics including emotionally absent parents, codependent siblings, substance abuse, and many more, it offers advice on recognizing the patterns of a dysfunctional family, healing from the past, and growing into the full human being you deserve to be.
Drama Free Review
Drama Free (2021) is a thought-provoking book that explores the art of setting and maintaining healthy boundaries for happier and drama-free relationships. Here's why this book is worth reading:
- With its practical strategies and insightful advice, it empowers readers to create boundaries that foster respectful and fulfilling connections.
- The book combines real-life stories, psychological research, and expert insights, making it informative and relatable for anyone seeking healthier relationships.
- Through its compelling narratives and practical exercises, the book keeps readers engaged, ensuring a captivating and valuable reading experience.
Who should read Drama Free?
- Adult children or siblings looking to untangle their current family relationships
- Emotionally troubled individuals who are prepared to analyze their childhood
- Anyone who tenses up when a family member calls
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Drama Free FAQs
What is the main message of Drama Free?
The main message of Drama Free is how to navigate difficult relationships and create healthier boundaries.
How long does it take to read Drama Free?
The reading time for Drama Free varies, but it typically takes several hours. The Blinkist summary can be read in just 15 minutes.
Is Drama Free a good book? Is it worth reading?
Drama Free is a valuable read for anyone seeking to improve their relationships. It provides practical insights and strategies for a more harmonious life.
Who is the author of Drama Free?
Nedra Glover Tawwab is the author of Drama Free.
What to read after Drama Free?
If you're wondering what to read next after Drama Free, here are some recommendations we suggest:
- Adult Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers by Stephanie M. Kriesberg
- Codependent No More by Melody Beattie
- Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents by Lindsay C. Gibson
- Facing Codependence by Pia Mellody with Andrea Wells Miller & J. Keith Miller
- The Origins of You by Vienna Pharaon
- Liberated Love by Mark Groves & Kylie McBeath
- You Can Thrive After Narcissistic Abuse by Melanie Tonia Evans
- The Courage Habit by Kate Swoboda
- No Bad Parts by Richard C. Schwartz
- The Conquest of Happiness by Bertrand Russell