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Ethan Kross is the author of Chatter.

Personal Development

Chatter Book Summary - Chatter Book explained in key points

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Name: Chatter
Rating: 4.5 (402 reviews)
Author: Ethan Kross

Ethan Kross

The Voice in Our Head, Why It Matters, and How to Harness It

4.5 (402 ratings)

21 mins

Brief summary

Chatter by Ethan Kross explores the power of self-talk and how it can impact our thoughts, emotions, and behavior. The book offers practical tools and techniques for managing our inner voice to improve our mental and emotional wellbeing.

Topics

Stress Reduction Self-Help

Table of Contents

Chatter
Summary of 7 key ideas

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Key idea 1 of 7

What’s in it for me? Learn how to turn down your nagging inner voice.

Nowadays, we’re constantly urged to “be present.” Yet humans spend more than a third of our lives caught up in streams of self-talk, as we reflect, reminisce, or play out scenarios in our heads.

Our inner voices are an evolutionary adaptation and have enabled humans to become the only species on Earth with the ability for introspection. But while they allow us to problem-solve and make wise decisions, too much introspection can be a bad thing.

That’s because all too often, introspection turns to chatter – a loop of negative self-talk. Luckily, our brains are built with all the tools we need to turn down the chatter. These blinks will teach you how to turn your worst critic into your best friend.

In these blinks, you’ll learn

different thinking strategies to get distance from your chatter;
why connecting with nature helps you recharge; and
how to find the appropriate advisors to help you with your problems.

Humans developed an inner voice so we could evaluate our past and prepare for the future.

Let’s admit it: we all talk to ourselves. While that might not be a shocking thing to do, it is shocking just how fast we do it. One study published in 1990 analyzed people’s rate of inner speech and clocked it at roughly four thousand words per minute. To say those same words out loud would take close to an hour!

Our inner voices have been annoying humans for a long time; both the early Christian mystics and Chinese Buddhists were frustrated by their inner voices’ ability to incessantly interrupt their meditation. It’s also interesting to note that people who stutter out loud say their inner voices speak clearly. And deaf people report using sign language to speak to themselves.

Clearly, our inner voices are an inherent part of our minds. But why? According to the rules of natural selection, introspection must come with an evolutionary advantage.

The key message here is: Humans developed an inner voice so we could evaluate our past and prepare for the future.

Unlike other species, we find meaning in our experiences. That’s because our inner voices facilitate our ability for introspection, which allows us to learn from our mistakes and plan for future events.

We develop this voice during infancy, and – as we learn to speak – it helps us with self-control. Studying toddlers speak to themselves aloud; Russian psychologist Lev Vygotsky posited that by mimicking the instructions received from parents, children were learning to manage emotions. Then, as they grow older, they begin to use their own words to harness self-control.

In adulthood, our inner voices help us keep track of the goals we strive for. Whether we’re working toward a promotion or winning the heart of our crush, verbal thoughts pop up to remind us of our purpose. And we can also run mental simulations. For instance, considering various texts we could send to that crush and what effect they might have.

Ultimately, our inner voices greatly contribute to how we shape our identities. That’s because, through the process of introspection and reflection, we create meaningful narratives about ourselves. And having a solid identity helps us to mature, understand our values, and weather tumultuous times.

Chatter routinely gets in the way of our functioning in the world.

What’s easier to memorize, 800-520-6755 or 8005206755? The first, right? That’s because it’s only three pieces of information, while the second set is an unbroken string of ten. This is a classic example of how our minds can only hold three to five pieces of information at any single moment – and that’s under optimum conditions. If there’s too much chatter, our minds tend to slow down dramatically.

Our brains’ executive functions are a little like a computer. They enable us to focus on what’s relevant, tune out distractions, and direct our energy to the task at hand, whether that’s writing an email or cooking an elaborate meal. These functions kick in when instinct alone isn’t enough to drive our behavior. But, like a computer, they can only handle so much data at any one time; when we ruminate too much, we sap the neurons needed for our executive functions. You’ve experienced this if you’ve ever tried to concentrate on a book after a fight with a romantic partner. And in situations when the stakes are higher, chatter really gets in the way.

The quickest way to turn down chatter is to get some distance.

In 1841, Abraham Lincoln was having some romantic problems. Engaged to be married, he’d fallen in love with another woman. A year later, Lincoln was happily married and had moved on, but his friend Joshua Speed had fallen into the same dilemma. With some distance from his past troubles, Lincoln was easily able to give Speed advice.

That’s because getting distance from chatter is the easiest way to put it into perspective. Chatter involves zooming in – emotions raging, we single-mindedly focus on the problem. This causes us to be totally consumed, which encourages depression and anxiety to kick in. Our stress response is activated, and, seeking to resolve the crisis, we zoom in more and more. Pretty soon, we’ve lost all perspective.

Addressing yourself as if you were someone else can help you get some distance from chatter.

In 1979, children’s television host Fred Rogers – creator of Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood – wrote himself a letter. It began, “Am I kidding myself?” and continued with a stream of recriminations and doubts regarding his ability to write a good TV show. But toward the end of the letter, something funny happened. He wrote, “. . . the hour cometh and now . . . I’ve got to do it. Get to it, Fred.”

Why was Mr. Rogers speaking to himself in the third person?

To reduce chatter, we need to meet both our emotional and cognitive needs.

In 2008, after the shootings at Northern Illinois University and Virginia Tech, University of Illinois researchers tracked how the students were coping with grief. They found that most students joined Facebook groups and shared their emotions online. While the students found such engagement comforting, it didn’t decrease their long-term depression and PTSD symptoms.

But how can this be? Aren’t we taught that sharing our emotions is healthy? Aristotle and Freud both thought so, urging people to purge themselves of their inner pain. We learn this as babies, too, when we cry and scream until our parents come and meet our needs.

Engaging with the outside world helps us reduce chatter.

In the 1990s, University of Illinois researcher Ming Kuo found that people living in Chicago housing projects had greater attention spans when their windows looked out onto green views. Their greater focus, In turn, led to more positive thinking. Later studies done in England and Canada backed up these findings, showing that exposure to green space leads to more happiness.

Why? Because nature engages our attention in a very particular way, one that draws us away from chatter and allows us to recharge.

If we believe something can make us feel better, it will.

In 1777, Franz Mesmer used what he called “animal magnetism” – a technique that involved magnets and a lot of babbling – to cure the pianist Maria Theresia von Paradis of her blindness. Or so it seemed. Mesmer was eventually outed as a fraud. The only thing his technique was really effective at was proving the power of the placebo effect.

While placebos are generally used in medicinal studies, objects imbued with power have long been a part of human tradition. Back in medieval times, it was believed that King Solomon’s seal could ward off demons, and today people are still attracted to lucky charms – Michael Jordan, for example, always wore his old college shorts underneath his uniform.

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What is Chatter about?

Chatter (2021) directly addresses our inner voice, which, too often, turns into our inner critic. Backed with information from countless studies, Chatter delivers a wealth of strategies to help free us from the negative thought spirals that dominate our lives.

Chatter Review

Chatter (2021) offers valuable insights into how our inner voice affects our daily lives and provides practical strategies to harness its power. Here's why this book is definitely worth reading:

Backed by scientific research, it offers evidence-based techniques to help us navigate and control our inner chatter for better decision-making and overall well-being.
Through relatable stories and relatable anecdotes, Ethan Kross demonstrates how our inner voice can be both a source of self-sabotage and self-support, making it easy to relate to.
Drawing on real-life examples and relatable situations, the book offers practical strategies and techniques that readers can implement in their own lives for immediate results.

Best quote from Chatter

We use our minds to write the story of our lives, with us as the main character.

—Ethan Kross

Who should read Chatter?

People who have trouble finding mental quiet
Those hoping to learn how to give support to loved ones
Anyone interested in how our brains function

About the Author

Ethan Kross attended the University of Pennsylvania and Columbia University and is a leading expert on the behavior of the mind. Currently, Kross is the director of the Emotion & Self Control Laboratory at the University of Michigan. His work has been published in the New York Times, the New Yorker, and the Wall Street Journal – and he’s given policy advice to the White House.

Categories with Chatter

Personal Development Psychology

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