Name: The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober
Rating: 4.5 (203 reviews)
Author: Catherine Gray

What’s in it for me? Flip the script on sobriety!

Look up the word sober in the Oxford dictionary, and you’ll find two definitions. The first: unaffected by alcohol; not drunk. The second: serious, sensible, and solemn. For many people, the first meaning of the word sober is inextricably entangled with its second meaning. Perhaps you’re one of those people yourself. Perhaps you’ve toyed with the idea of adopting a sober lifestyle, but abandoned it because sobriety strikes you as dull and joyless.

But plenty of people who’ve embraced sobriety know something you don’t.

Sobriety has a bad rap. The truth is, sober living can be joyful, surprising, and fulfilling. Going sober means giving up alcohol, not giving up fun. You don’t need a drink in your hand to live your life to the fullest. In fact, sobriety can lead you to a far deeper enjoyment of life’s pleasures than you ever thought possible. Curious to learn more? Then why not mix yourself a mocktail and settle back to enjoy The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober.

In these blinks you’ll discover

why cigarettes are frowned upon but drinking is encouraged;
why the phrase “moderate drinking” is a red herring; and
how to navigate awkward situations (yes, even sex!) while sober.

Sobriety is a fresh start – albeit one that brings challenges.

In 1914, Thomas Edison – inventor of the light bulb and motion film, among other things – suffered a serious setback. His studio burned to the ground. All of his work was destroyed.

If you’re a serious drinker, you’ll know that alcohol can flame through your life, too, burning some parts of it beyond recognition.

But don’t get defeated and reach for another drink. Channel Edison, who reportedly surveyed his damaged studio, then said, “Thank goodness all our mistakes were burned up. Now we can start fresh.”

The key message here is: Sobriety is a fresh start – albeit one that brings challenges.

If you’re ready to break up with bad drinking habits, you should know that the road to sobriety isn’t an easy one. And the first few steps you take down the road are often the most difficult. So you need to prepare yourself for the challenges of sobriety.

Here are a few tips that might come in handy – just remember that getting sober is different for everyone, and your mileage may vary.

If you’re a physically-dependent alcoholic – that’s a drinker who experiences physical withdrawal symptoms when they don’t drink – then quitting will be tough on your body at first. You may experience problems sleeping, nausea, headaches, burning skin, and other nasty symptoms. It can be a good idea to talk to your GP before you quit. But don’t worry: the first few days of sobriety are not your new normal. This period lasts approximately ten days. When the clouds of withdrawal fade, you’ll see the world afresh from your new, sober perspective.

Whether you were a moderate or a chronic drinker, buckle up for a ride on the hormone roller coaster. Alcohol dulls experience and numbs emotion. Particularly in your first few weeks of sobriety, you should be prepared to experience higher highs and lower lows than you did in your drinking days. Once your mood settles, though, you’ll learn the joy of experiencing the world filter-free.

Sharing your sobriety-mission with others is a great way to keep yourself accountable. Why? It all comes down to the psychological phenomenon known as the Hawthorne Effect – essentially, people perform better when they know they’re being observed. You’re less likely to relapse with others cheering you on.

Finally, stay alive to the surprising bonuses of being sober. Say goodbye to lost phones and wallets, empty bank accounts, and regrettable late-night kebabs. Say hello to productive Sunday mornings, boundless energy, and a new zest for life!

Even moderate drinking has harmful consequences.

Everything in moderation, or so the saying goes. But do these words of wisdom apply to drinking?

For some drinkers, the phrase “moderate drinking” is oxymoronic. The way their brains and bodies react to alcohol make it impossible to stop at one. But other people are perfectly able to drink in moderation. They can enjoy a glass of wine with dinner or a pint at the pub with friends, and then simply stop.

You need to build up your sober social life gradually.

Imagine you’re hitting the gym for the first time in years. You wouldn’t start lifting the heaviest weights first. You’d take it slow, build your strength. You wouldn’t start pumping iron until your muscles were conditioned.

Well, think of your sobriety as a muscle. In the early days of sober living, it might be too weak to manage a boozy pub session or an open bar.

Sobriety can rewire your neural networks for the better.

Here’s why sobriety is probably going to be more fun than drinking: your drinking stopped being fun a long time ago.

If you’re a habitual drinker, over time, your brain has learned that whatever the problem – be it boredom, anxiety, or stress – the solution is alcohol. In fact, this so-called solution becomes coded right into the prefrontal cortex, the part of your brain that controls decision-making and regulates behavior. Over time, it becomes the only thing that can trigger a significant release of dopamine – a neurotransmitter that opens our brain’s pleasure centers.

Key ideas in The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober

What is The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober about?

In The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober, Catherine Gray persuasively argues that sober living offers a far more intoxicating high than the short-lived pleasures of drinking. Pushing back against socially and culturally ingrained stereotypes that equate sobriety with joylessness, Gray demonstrates that going sober creates opportunities for health, wealth, and, above all, fun!

About the Author

Catherine Gray is an accomplished author and journalist, whose features have appeared in magazines from Stylist to Grazia. She’s also a recovering alcoholic, whose frank debut, The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober, was a Sunday Times bestseller. Gray has followed up her debut success with The Unexpected Joy of Being Single and The Unexpected Joy of the Ordinary.