Thank You for Arguing Book Summary - Thank You for Arguing Book explained in key points

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Thank You for Arguing summary

Name: Thank You for Arguing
Rating: 4.2 (191 reviews)
Author: Jay Heinrichs

Jay Heinrichs

What Aristotle, Lincoln, and Homer Simpson Can Teach Us About the Art of Persuasion

4.2 (191 ratings)

15 mins

Brief summary

Thank You for Arguing by Jay Heinrichs is a book on the art of persuasion. It teaches techniques to effectively communicate, persuade, and win arguments through the use of logic, emotion, and character.

Topics

Persuasion Manipulation

Table of Contents

Thank You for Arguing
Summary of 7 key ideas

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Key idea 1 of 7

What’s in it for me? Be like Aristotle and never lose an argument again.

When you think about arguments, you probably think of two spouses yelling at each other about something in the kitchen. That’s a shame, because arguments shouldn’t be thought of merely as a verbal means of attack.

Arguments were originally conceived as an efficient and rather gratifying way for two or more parties to come to a conclusion together. Of course, arguments can become passionate and heated, but that doesn’t mean they have to be solely associated with hatred and spite.

When arguments are approached with a different perspective, they become something more like a technique, like something that can be studied and improved.

Learning that technique will not only make arguments more enjoyable; it will also make you a more formidable debater! And that’s what these blinks are about.

In these blinks, you’ll learn

why Aristotle would’ve approved of Eminem’s character in 8 Mile;
what central rhetoric lesson John Kerry ignored in his 2004 presidential campaign; and
how successful marriages handle arguments, compared to ones that end in divorce.

Arguments are essential to human life, influencing our attitudes and driving our decisions.

For many, the word “argument” conjures images of two people engaged in an angry screaming match. But rhetoric – the art of argumentation – is much more than that. In essence, it’s a nexus of skills and techniques that help the arguer persuade others, and its origins can be traced all the way back to ancient Greece.

But what bearing does it have on contemporary society?

Well, even today, rhetoric shapes the way we think, without our even noticing it. The ancient Greeks held the discipline of rhetoric in such high esteem that it was the foundation of all education. They practiced this skill by making arguments. And arguments continue to play a key role in all human dealings: they’re made in advertisements and political speeches, in books and blogs, in the kitchen and the courtroom.

A common misconception is that arguments ought to lead to an agreement. What they truly aim to achieve, however, is a consensus – that is, complete shared faith in the outcome. So the goal of an argument is not to win, but to win over your audience.

The psychology professor John Gottman led a study that made this idea clear. In observing couples in therapy, he found that the pairs who stayed married had just as many disputes as those who broke up. But there was a crucial difference: partners in long-lasting marriages took the opportunity to solve their issues and reach a shared outcome. In other words, they argued; the couples that broke up simply fought.

In other words, fighting, or being aggressive for the sake of winning an argument, isn’t a good way to argue. It won’t help you reach a consensus. So what’s a better way?

The Greek philosopher Aristotle might have suggested seduction, which he considered the strongest kind of argumentation. Seducing your audience, persuading them to want what you want, is the easiest way to reach a consensus.

Don’t start arguing until you know what you intend to accomplish.

When most people start an argument, their goal is to force their opponent to admit defeat. But if the argument ends without your opponent’s mind being changed, then there’s not much point of starting an argument in the first place.

Here’s how to avoid that:

Arguments revolve around core issues, and identifying them is essential to a peaceful resolution.

Everyone has gotten into an argument that simply couldn’t be resolved. Often, people don’t understand how such a stalemate could occur. But, in fact, there’s a simple explanation.

Many arguments end without resolution because the two arguers are debating two entirely different core issues. For instance, according to Aristotle, every argument is based on one of three possible issues:

Using logic and appealing to the emotions of your audience are powerful argumentative strategies.

Do you know Aristotle’s three essential tools of persuasion?

There’s logos, or argument by logic; pathos, or argument by emotion; and ethos, also known as argument by character, a strategy that relies on disputing the reputation and trustworthiness of your opponent.

In an argument, who you are matters more than what you say.

At this point, it might go without saying that Aristotle was the godfather of rhetoric. And for him, the most important argumentative appeal of the three was ethos. Here’s why:

When it comes to rhetoric, a good reputation goes further than good reasoning. For instance, when Lincoln was fighting to end slavery in America, his ideas weren’t exactly popular. However, people liked him, and this made all the difference when he sought to abolish slavery.

Ethos works by turning your character into a weapon of persuasion.

So, presenting an appealing character is essential to winning over your audience. Here’s how to do it:

According to Aristotle, an ethos-based argument has three essential qualities. The first is virtue, which means you can persuade your audience by sharing their values. But to do that you first need to know what values your audience holds and how you can embody them.

Learn to identify and use the shortcomings of your opponent’s argument.

Have you ever been convinced by a sleazy salesman? Well, they often rely on some of the most notorious rhetorical traps out there.

Two such traps are bad logic and false comparisons. Kids love using them to get what they want from their parents. Just take the classic line, “But all the other kids get to do it!” Be careful not to do what many parents do, which is to rebut this with poor logic of their own by asking some inane question, like “And if all the other kids jumped off a cliff, would you follow them?”

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What is Thank You for Arguing about?

Thank You for Arguing (2013) is a guide to the art of rhetoric. These blinks explain what rhetoric really is, how persuasion works and how to win a debate by drawing on in-depth research, anecdotes and theories from the great orators of history.

Who should read Thank You for Arguing?

Anyone interested in making good arguments
Politicians or anyone who debates politics
Parents looking for techniques with which to persuade their children

About the Author

Jay Heinrich is a former editor and publishing executive who dropped his first career in order to make rhetoric his full-time job. He blogs about rhetorical techniques and holds workshops aimed at popularizing argumentation.

Categories with Thank You for Arguing

Communication Skills Motivation & Inspiration

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