Not Nice Book Summary - Not Nice Book explained in key points

Not Nice summary

Aziz Gazipura

Brief summary

Not Nice by Aziz Gazipura is a self-improvement book that helps us overcome the fear of rejection and build healthy boundaries. It offers practical advice on how to be assertive and authentic while still being kind and respectful towards others.

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Table of Contents

    Not Nice
    Summary of key ideas

    Overcoming the Nice Guy Syndrome

    In Not Nice, Dr. Aziz Gazipura takes us on a journey of understanding and overcoming what he refers to as the "Nice Guy Syndrome". This affliction often leads individuals to suppress their own needs and wants while excessively prioritizing those of others. We start with an exploration of how societal conditioning and childhood experiences might lead to the development of this syndrome.

    Dr. Gazipura asserts that we should unlearn submissiveness and adopt assertiveness instead. He guides us on how to confidently set boundaries and express needs openly. It's not about being confrontational, but about asserting our own worth and right to have needs and desires without resorting to "people-pleasing" or avoiding conflict.

    Boosting Self Esteem and Assertiveness

    Following this, Dr. Gazipura delves into exploring the importance of boosted self-esteem on our journey. It’s not enough to understand the behavior patterns, we need to also transform our self-image. He equips us with strategies on how to silence our inner critic and build a stronger, more confident self-image. Tools like positive affirmations and visualization techniques feature prominently here.

    Assertiveness, according to Dr. Gazipura, is key to overcoming the Nice Guy Syndrome. He provides insights on how to become more assertive in daily life, nurturing more genuine and balanced relationships in the process. This includes constructive strategies to handle conflict rather than avoiding it, and saying 'no' where necessary.

    Establishing Healthy Boundaries

    The middle of Not Nice is dedicated to helping us understand the importance of setting healthy boundaries. Dr. Gazipura explains that while 'nice guys' might believe that boundaries are a form of self-centeredness, they are, in fact, crucial for our well-being and for nurturing fulfilling relationships. He points out that 'boundary-less' existence leads to resentment and emotional exhaustion.

    Practical methods are given to set up strong boundaries, including assertive communication, standing firm in one's decisions, and handling potential push-back from others. We also look at how to recognize when others violate these boundaries, and how to assert ourselves in response.

    Moving Towards Authenticity

    Finally, the closing chapters of Not Nice reinforce the power of authenticity. Dr. Gazipura stresses that overcoming the Nice Guy Syndrome doesn't mean becoming unkind or indifferent. Instead, it's about becoming more authentic, open, and expressive of our own desires and needs. He goes on to explore how this authenticity can positively impact our personal and professional relationships, leading to more fulfilling and balanced interactions.

    In conclusion, Not Nice acts as a categorical guide for moving away from the 'Nice Guy Syndrome' towards a more assertive and authentic self. The route may be challenging, but with patience and practice, we can become more confident, establish healthier relationships, and increase overall life satisfaction. The book emphasizes the message that being nice doesn't mean compromising our own needs – that it's okay, even necessary, to prioritize ourselves.

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    What is Not Nice about?

    In "Not Nice," Aziz Gazipura challenges the belief that being nice is the key to success and happiness. He argues that people-pleasing and avoiding conflict can hold us back from reaching our full potential. Through personal anecdotes and practical advice, Gazipura offers a guide to setting boundaries, speaking up for ourselves, and living authentically. This book encourages readers to embrace their true selves and prioritize their own well-being.

    Not Nice Review

    Not Nice (2017) by Aziz Gazipura offers a refreshing perspective on the art of assertiveness and effective communication. Here's why you should give this book a chance:

    • This book provides practical strategies that can help you break free from the need to please others and start prioritizing your own needs and desires.
    • Gazipura uses real-life examples and relatable stories to demonstrate the power of setting boundaries and speaking up for yourself in a respectful and confident manner.
    • The book emphasizes the importance of self-respect and self-care, providing insightful advice on how to navigate difficult relationships and build healthier connections.

    Who should read Not Nice?

    • Individuals who struggle with setting boundaries and asserting themselves
    • People who want to improve their communication and social skills
    • Those looking to develop healthier relationships and increase their self-esteem

    About the Author

    Aziz Gazipura is a renowned author and confidence coach. In his book "Not Nice," he explores the concept of people-pleasing and the negative impact it can have on one's life. Gazipura provides practical advice on how to set boundaries, assert oneself, and cultivate genuine self-confidence. Through his work, he aims to empower individuals to prioritize their own needs and live authentically. Gazipura's other notable works include "The Solution to Social Anxiety" and "On My Own Side."

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    Not Nice FAQs 

    What is the main message of Not Nice?

    The main message of Not Nice is that being kind and assertive can lead to happier and healthier relationships.

    How long does it take to read Not Nice?

    The reading time for Not Nice varies depending on the reader's speed, but it typically takes several hours. However, the Blinkist summary can be read in just 15 minutes.

    Is Not Nice a good book? Is it worth reading?

    Not Nice is a valuable read for anyone looking to improve their communication skills. It offers practical strategies and insights to help you navigate difficult social situations.

    Who is the author of Not Nice?

    The author of Not Nice is Aziz Gazipura.

    What to read after Not Nice?

    If you're wondering what to read next after Not Nice, here are some recommendations we suggest:
    • Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway by Susann Jeffers
    • Making It All Work by David Allen
    • The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg
    • The 4-Hour Workweek by Tim Ferriss
    • Mindset by Carol Dweck
    • Predictably Irrational by Dan Ariely
    • Switch by Chip Heath & Dan Heath
    • The Da Vinci Curse by Leonardo Lospennato
    • The Defining Decade by Meg Jay
    • The Art Of Non-Conformity by Chris Guillebeau