5 Voices

When it comes to communication, the authors identify five different “voices” we all use. We switch between them depending on the situations we find ourselves in, but most of us fall back on a single dominant voice – our primary means of self-expression. So what are these voices? Well, say you’re someone who values the input of others and emphasizes group harmony: your predominant voice is that of a nurturer.

Nurturers go out of their way to look out for those around them. They often put others’ needs ahead of their own and are most comfortable in environments where kindness and shared values come first. Nurturers are firmly anchored in the present: they want to take action now to ensure that relationships and the companies they work for flourish in the future. Nurturers also tend to believe that people are more important than profits.

A nurturing manager, for example, will put in extra hours to talk to employees and make sure that they’re happy with their work, feel motivated and have everything they need to do their jobs well. Outside work, a nurturer is the kind of person who’ll cancel his own plans to help a friend move into a new apartment.

That all sounds positive, right? It is, but nurturing types often run into a problem: they struggle to make themselves heard. This can have a big knock-on effect in organizations – after all, nurturers will keep their eyes on the wellbeing of people when everyone else is scrambling to meet targets. Without them, companies risk embracing a dog-eat-dog ethos that’s bound to undermine morale in the long run.

But because they’re modest by nature, nurturers often undervalue their own contributions and end up keeping their heads down rather than speaking up. And here’s a crazy thing: according to the authors’ calculations, around 43 percent of the population is made up of nurturers. That’s a huge number of people who aren’t having their concerns taken seriously! We’ll explore what can be done about this later on. But before that, let’s take a closer look at the second voice.