Wired for Intimacy Book Summary - Wired for Intimacy Book explained in key points
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Wired for Intimacy summary

William M. Struthers

How Pornography Hijacks the Male Brain

2.8 (102 ratings)
17 mins

Brief summary

Wired for Intimacy by William M. Struthers explores the effects of pornography on the brain and relationships, offering practical steps for overcoming addiction and cultivating healthy intimacy.

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    Wired for Intimacy
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    The perfect storm

    In the digital age, pornography seems inescapable. The internet has massively aided its spread, making it accessible, affordable, and anonymous. The porn industry now generates billions in revenue across all media. But the dangers of porn are rarely discussed. 

    Pornography treats human sexuality as a commodity to be consumed, degrading both men and women. It hijacks men’s brains, sometimes destroying their whole lives. Yet talking about this issue raises discomfort, even among Christians who want to live purely. Attitudes range from amusement to avoidance. 

    Those defending pornography often do so through subtle dodges, avoiding the real problem. There are three common types.

    The definition dodge claims that porn can’t be defined. After all, many great books, movies, and works of art depict erotic scenes. However, most reasonable people can easily distinguish erotic art from material made solely to sexually arouse. 

    The constitutional dodge argues that porn is protected as free speech by the first amendment. But there already are restrictions to free speech that are reasonable and legal – no one would argue the same for child pornography, for instance. Civil liberties don’t negate the harm caused by pornography

    The causal dodge notes that research correlates porn with certain harmful effects, but that doesn’t prove causation. The tobacco industry was able to hide behind this dodge for decades. In both cases, studies can only prove correlation because more direct, experimental studies are unethical or simply impossible. But since there are plenty of anecdotes of men who have experienced the damage pornography can do, it’s very reasonable to believe the correlation implies causation in this case.

    In reality, porn and its effects are pretty easy to define. Porn depicts erotic acts expressly to arouse, removed from the proper context of intimacy. It claims to depict sexual fulfillment, but actually perverts the gift of sex that God has given us, turning it into a product to be sold and bought. It promises intimacy – but delivers isolation.

    The “perfect storm” of the internet has enabled porn to saturate our culture and rewire sexuality. Recovery is possible. It starts with re-embracing a biblical sexual ethic. But it will be a tough cultural battle. 

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    What is Wired for Intimacy about?

    Wired for Intimacy (2010) is a practical and hopeful guide for Christian men looking to find freedom from pornography. Combining science and spirituality, it reveals how pornography affects the male brain and provides hands-on solutions to redeem modern masculinity.

    Wired for Intimacy Review

    Wired for Intimacy (2010) by William M. Struthers offers a thought-provoking exploration of the impact of pornography on our brains and relationships. Here's why this book is worth reading:

    • Packed with scientific research and expert insights, it provides a deep understanding of the neurological and psychological effects of pornography, offering a compelling case for its avoidance.
    • By emphasizing the importance of real intimacy and healthy relationships, the book guides readers towards building authentic connections and finding fulfillment beyond the screen.
    • Its exploration of the spiritual dimensions of human sexuality sets it apart, addressing the deeper questions of purpose and meaning in our pursuit of intimacy.

    Who should read Wired for Intimacy?

    • Christian men struggling with porn addiction
    • Pastors, youth pastors, and church leaders who want to help their male constituents
    • Anyone concerned about porn's societal effects

    About the Author

    William Struthers is a professor of psychology at Wheaton College, Illinois. He combines his expertise in behavioral neuroscience and Christianity to research the biological bases of spirituality and provide insights on integrating psychology and faith. His academic interests range from neuroethics to science-faith dialogues.

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    Wired for Intimacy FAQs 

    What is the main message of Wired for Intimacy?

    The main message of Wired for Intimacy is understanding the impact of pornography on our brains and relationships.

    How long does it take to read Wired for Intimacy?

    The reading time for Wired for Intimacy varies depending on the reader's speed. However, the Blinkist summary can be read in just 15 minutes.

    Is Wired for Intimacy a good book? Is it worth reading?

    Wired for Intimacy is worth reading as it provides valuable insights into the effects of pornography on relationships and offers strategies for developing healthier intimacy.

    Who is the author of Wired for Intimacy?

    The author of Wired for Intimacy is William M. Struthers.

    What to read after Wired for Intimacy?

    If you're wondering what to read next after Wired for Intimacy, here are some recommendations we suggest:
    • The Porn Myth by Matt Fradd
    • Spoon-Fed by Tim Spector
    • Sexual Detox by Tim Challies
    • Pornland by Gail Dines
    • Social Justice Fallacies by Thomas Sowell
    • Gravity by Nicholas Mee
    • Treating Pornography Addiction by Kevin B. Skinner
    • Fight Right by Julie Schwartz Gottman
    • Your Brain on Porn by Gary Wilson
    • The Mindful Body by Ellen J. Langer