The Conscious Parent Book Summary - The Conscious Parent Book explained in key points
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The Conscious Parent summary

Shefali Tsabary

Transforming Ourselves, Empowering Our Children

4.7 (70 ratings)
18 mins

Brief summary

The Conscious Parent is a parenting book that encourages us to shift from controlling our children to creating a deep connection with them. It explores how our own childhood experiences shape our parenting style and offers insights for raising self-aware and emotionally healthy children.

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    The Conscious Parent
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    Opt for acceptance, not approval

    Every child enters the world with a birthright given to them by their mere existence: the right simply to be themselves.

    Sadly, all too often, children are stripped of this right by the people who love them most. In a bid to encourage them, many parents unwittingly condition children to gain their approval. But this kind of encouragement is based on judgment and can affect a child negatively. Say, for instance, you praise your child excessively for coming first in a test. While happy to have pleased you, your child might also worry that they’ll lose your approval if they don’t come first next time, placing them in a state of anxiety.

    In order to embrace their birthright and become who they innately are, children need to feel loved and accepted unconditionally, whether or not they aced their exams or got selected for the hockey team. But they will never feel truly loved if they’re reliant on a parent’s approval.

    The conscious parent strives to be judgment-free in all aspects of their children’s lives – their interests, values, ambitions, nature, and sexuality. Children should be cherished for who they are – not what they do. That way, they can fully inhabit their authentic selves, not the warped version they think you want.

    To do this, a parent must give up the belief that it’s their right to approve of their children. Your role isn’t to judge and mold; it’s to celebrate and wholeheartedly welcome the unique wonder that is your child.

    There are numerous simple ways you can celebrate your children each day without trapping them in your approval. If you’re sitting at the table together, tell them how much you enjoy eating a meal with them. When they spontaneously take your hand, share how much you love holding hands. The first time you see them in the morning, tell them what a blessing it is to wake up in the same home as they’re in.

    When children and teenagers are consistently loved in this way, they grow up with a sense of their intrinsic rightness and wholeness. This will provide them with an emotional integrity that will help them develop meaningful and respectful connections with others, while allowing them to self-actualize.

    Letting go who you think your child should be is no small task. It asks you to surrender a mindset and behaviors that you likely inherited from your own parents. But the benefits are well worth it, and twofold. Once you remove your judge’s wig and toss away your gavel, you become more available to respond to your child’s needs as they arise. This will deepen your kinship with your child, nourishing you both.

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    What is The Conscious Parent about?

    The Conscious Parent (2014) offers a new approach to parenting based on adults increasing their awareness of the impact that their behaviors and emotional wounds have on the children in their lives. By honoring a child’s authenticity and innate wholeness, parents can deepen their connection with their children, and support them in becoming happy, well-adjusted individuals.

    The Conscious Parent Review

    The Conscious Parent by Shefali Tsabary (2010) is a profound exploration of mindful parenting that we highly recommend. Here's why this book is worth reading:

    • With deep insights into the parent-child relationship, it encourages us to foster a conscious connection with our children, leading to more meaningful and authentic interactions.
    • It challenges traditional parenting wisdom and offers a fresh perspective, empowering us to let go of control and embrace our children's individuality.
    • Through practical exercises and relatable stories, the book helps us develop self-awareness and transform ourselves into more conscious parents, resulting in a fulfilling and harmonious family life.

    Who should read The Conscious Parent?

    • Parents hoping to raise happy, well-adjusted children
    • Adults wanting to break the cycle of harmful parent-child dynamics
    • Extended family members who want to support the healthy development of the children in their lives

    About the Author

    Shefali Tsabary is a clinical psychologist who integrates Eastern and Western philosophy into her practice. An expert in family dynamics and personal development, she is the author of four books, including New York Times best sellers The Conscious Parent and The Awakened Family.

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    The Conscious Parent FAQs 

    What is the main message of The Conscious Parent?

    The main message of The Conscious Parent is connecting deeply with our children and becoming aware of our own emotional reactions.

    How long does it take to read The Conscious Parent?

    The reading time for The Conscious Parent varies depending on the reader's speed. However, the Blinkist summary can be read in just 15 minutes.

    Is The Conscious Parent a good book? Is it worth reading?

    The Conscious Parent is worth reading because it offers valuable insights and practical tools for transforming our relationships with our children.

    Who is the author of The Conscious Parent?

    The author of The Conscious Parent is Shefali Tsabary.

    What to read after The Conscious Parent?

    If you're wondering what to read next after The Conscious Parent, here are some recommendations we suggest:
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    • 1-2-3 Magic by Thomas W. Phelan
    • Good Inside by Becky Kennedy
    • A Radical Awakening by Shefali Tsabary
    • Raising Mentally Strong Kids by Amen MD Daniel G. & Charles Fay
    • Unlocking Parental Intelligence by Laurie Hollman
    • The Education of Millionaires by Michael Ellsberg