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Blink 3 of 8 - The 5 AM Club
by Robin Sharma
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On Gaslighting summary
Kate Abramson
Uncovering Hidden Manipulations That Erode Trust and Truth
17 mins
Brief summary
On Gaslighting delves into the psychological manipulation technique of gaslighting, examining its effects on victims and highlighting strategies to recognize and counteract this form of coercion in personal and professional relationships.
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On Gaslighting
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Gaslighting 101
You’re being hysterical. I was only joking. That never happened.
File all these phrases under “textbook gaslighting”.
But what is textbook gaslighting exactly? Let’s get a bit more analytical.
Gaslighting is a style of psychological manipulation that aims to do two distinct but interrelated things. It aims to produce, in another person, the sense that her reactions, perceptions, memories, and beliefs are so far removed from the reality of a situation that they are, in fact, crazy. What’s more, it aims to make that person feel the gap between their perceptions and the reality proposed by her gaslighter is part of her broader craziness and her entrenched unreliability. Simply, the gaslighter’s target is both made to feel she is being crazy and, at the same time, she is actually driven crazy. The target, try as she might, cannot make herself see the reality the gaslighter proposes to her. Side note: we’re using the word ‘crazy’ here. This word has historically been used to undermine the experiences of people with mental illnesses. Aptly enough, it’s an experience of “craziness” (not of a legible, treatable mental illness) that gaslighters want to produce in their targets.
Moving on: we can see an important distinction between gaslighting and another form of psychological manipulation, brainwashing. When a target is brainwashed, he is manipulated into radically altering his beliefs. When a target is gaslit, he is manipulated into radically questioning his beliefs while being, at the same time, unable to completely alter them.
Another important thing to understand: while a gaslighter will often dismiss their target's testimony, or fail to take her concerns seriously, the act of dismissing someone or of not taking her seriously does not equate to gaslighting. Gaslighting is a long term pattern of behavior, occurring over a stretch of time, in which the gaslighter’s most crucial violation is not that they don’t take their target seriously; rather that they coax their target into not taking herself seriously.
That’s gaslighting theory. What does it look like in practice? We’ll share some relevant examples in the next chapter.
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What is On Gaslighting about?
On Gaslighting (2024) explores the concept of gaslighting as a distinctive form of manipulation that undermines a person’s ability to trust their own perceptions, reasoning, and emotions. Through the lens of contemporary philosophy this text analyzes the conception, tools, and implications of gaslighting, linking this psychological phenomenon to broader social issues like racism, sexism, and trust in relationships.
Who should read On Gaslighting ?
- Therapists who want to understand the psychological and emotional effects of gaslighting
- Ethicists seeking to understand the moral dimensions of gaslighting
- Social justice advocates who want to uncover how gaslighting exploits oppressive social systems
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