Stumbling on Happiness Book Summary - Stumbling on Happiness Book explained in key points

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Stumbling on Happiness summary

Name: Stumbling on Happiness
Rating: 4 (119 reviews)
Author: Daniel Gilbert

Daniel Gilbert

The psychology of thinking about the future

4 (119 ratings)

22 mins

Topics

Happiness Neuroscience

Table of Contents

Stumbling on Happiness
Summary of 13 key ideas

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Key idea 1 of 13

Our minds are capable of filling in missing details without us knowing about it.

Though we’re not aware of it, everybody’s field of vision contains a blind spot, a place where the eye cannot see images. Yet, when you look at a photograph or someone’s face, you don’t see a big black mark where your blind spot is; you seem to see the whole image.

This is because your brain fills in the missing details automatically. It instantly scans the area around the blind spot and fills in what it thinks should be there. The mind effectively invents a portion of your vision without you knowing about it.

This example shows the immense capability of the mind to fill in missing details and transform our perception of reality. We assume that what we see is a true reflection of the world, and yet it isn’t: it’s partly the construction of our mind.

But the brain’s ability to fill in details goes far beyond adjusting our vision: it also influences how we remember past events. When we remember the past, we can’t possibly accurately recall everything that’s happened; there is just too much information to store. Therefore, what our minds do is store only key details and emotions.

For example, if you’ve had a bad dining experience at a restaurant, when you think back to the evening in question, you might remember being angered by a rude waiter or drinking corked wine. But along with these key details, your brain will fill in the surrounding picture as best it can with what it assumes should be there. For instance, it may insert the detail that the rude waiter had a mischievous grin as he served the spoiled wine. This, of course, was not really the case. As with the blind spot, our brains fill in these details so quickly that we don’t even know it’s happening.

So, although we consider our memories and our vision as accurate representations of facts, they are in fact a mixture of reality and imagination.

Our minds are capable of filling in missing details without us knowing about it.

We trust that our predictions of the future are accurate – yet they are merely single scenarios in a sea of possibilities.

Let’s say that tonight you’re planning to go out to a pizzeria you’ve never been to before. You allow yourself to daydream about this little indulgence, and your imagination willingly conjures a very detailed scene of how you think the evening will unfold, right down to the waiter’s twirled moustache and the sizzling mozzarella cheese on your pizza. You can hardly wait!

The above is an example of how your mind can create a very vivid and credible prediction of the future based on just one simple piece of information: that you intend to eat pizza.

Our current emotional state heavily influences how we think about the future – which leads to mistakes.

Have you ever done a week’s grocery shopping only to discover mid-week that you’ve completely underestimated the amount of food you needed? Interestingly, this could be because you made the mistake of doing your groceries on a full stomach.

People often mistakenly believe that their predictions about the future (like the amount of groceries they need to survive a week) are totally rational, but in fact our current emotional state strongly influences how we imagine future events.

We should value products based on how much satisfaction we get for our money – not how much their price has increased.

When we see a product with a price tag, we usually have a gut feeling as to whether the price is fair or not. But how do we decide this?

Most of the time we use a simple measuring stick: does this item cost more or less than it did in the past? If the price has risen, we tend to feel it is now overpriced, whereas if the price has fallen, we feel we’re getting a bargain. Let’s say, for example, there are two identical but differently priced holiday packages: Package A, which costs $500 but was reduced from $600; and Package B, which is $400 but has increased from $300. Unbelievably, most people would choose Package A because they think it’s a bargain, despite the fact that it’s less value for their money.

We can’t trust our memories because we remember the strange and unique over the mundane and normal.

Imagine you went camping and, as with most camping trips, you spent most of the time battling mosquitoes and sleeping on rough ground, or even jagged stones. Afterward, your memory of the event would probably be dominated by these mundane concerns and you’d think twice about going camping again.

Now imagine that, after spending a week enduring these conditions, you stumbled over a rock and found $100 buried underneath. It’s a good bet your memory of the trip would be transformed: This unexpected surprise would dominate your memories over the insects and sleeping discomfort. You might even think camping isn’t so bad after all.

The false belief that money makes us happier spreads because it is beneficial for society as a whole.

Why do you think great ideas, like a recipe for delicious cheesecake, get passed around so widely and quickly? Quite simply, because people like to pass on ideas and advice that are accurate (i.e., true).

However, as anyone who’s ever heard an untrue rumour knows, inaccurate information can also be spread. But why would anyone wish to share misinformation? In fact, this only happens when it is in our own interests, and in the interests of the community, that the false belief is spread.

We think we are unique so we don’t ask others for advice – even though we could benefit from doing so.

We like to think that, as individuals, we’re pretty unique. We’re convinced that we are in some way special and that everybody else is completely different from us. We feel this way not out of petty selfishness but because our brains are wired this way. Yet, this attitude causes us to make a grievous mistake: we think we’re so unique that we cannot possibly benefit from the help and advice of others.

Imagine you were thinking about quitting your job to go travelling around the world. You would probably sit there for hours on end, thinking about the pros and cons, mulling over the same thoughts again and again. Someone might suggest you talk to a friend who went on a world trip last year, but you shrug them off: that person was in a completely different situation, you think. You believe your thoughts and experiences are so unique that no-one else can offer relevant advice.

Always take action to seize the day; we can learn from mistakes but will always regret inaction!

Which scenario do you think you would regret more: marrying a person who later becomes an axe murderer, or not marrying a person who later becomes a Nobel Prize-winning billionaire or movie star?

Surprisingly, the answer is the latter. This is because our brains are fundamentally wired to make even bad decisions look better in hindsight. When experiences are unpleasant, we quickly try to explain them in ways that make us feel better. So, while marrying that axe murderer may have been a mistake, we can always tell ourselves that we are stronger because of it, or that we’ve learned something valuable, like how to recognize signs of psychosis in other people.

A chipped nail can feel worse than a house fire: your mind defends you against the more traumatic experiences.

From time to time, we all face unpleasant events in life. These range from minor things, like chipping a nail, to major disasters, like getting fired or your house burning down.

Strange as it might seem, we often feel worse after the trivial misfortunes than the more traumatic ones.

Although we value freedom and choice, we are often happier when we can’t change things.

Imagine it’s your birthday and you’ve just received a fancy watch as a gift. Now ask yourself: If you could choose, would you like the gift to be exchangeable in case the store had something more your style?

Most people think that, in any given situation, it is always better to have more options. Yet, this is often false reasoning, because when we have options, we start wondering about whether one of the alternatives would be a better choice. If you know you have the choice to exchange the watch, you’ll probably examine it more critically, looking for reasons why you should exchange it.

An explanation robs an unexplained event of its mystery and emotional impact – with both positive and negative results.

Having a secret admirer who drops off gifts at your doorstep can be flattering and exciting. But if you find out who it is, chances are that you will feel a little deflated. This is because an explanation of those mystery gifts changes the way you feel about getting them.

Unexplained events and phenomena hold a special allure for us, for two reasons.

Your friends may not be as unbiased as you think: we unknowingly surround ourselves with those who support our views.

You probably know people who are wildly optimistic in their views – people who see every glass as being half-full and who think that every difficult situation has a silver lining.

You might wonder: How do these people manage to see everything in such a positive light? The reason is that they only see what they want to see; they surround themselves with information that backs up their positive worldview.

Final Summary

The key message of this book is:

We use our memories and imagination to make choices about our future. Yet, we are not aware of how our brains make these processes work. This lack of awareness leaves us prone to making mistakes when deciding about the future. Therefore, the choices we make will often leave us unhappy.

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What is Stumbling on Happiness about?

Stumbling on Happiness (2007) explains how our brains make us think about the future. It employs accessible language and everyday examples to help us understand complex theories from psychology, neuroscience and philosophy.

Stumbling on Happiness helps answer the question: why do we make decisions that leave us unhappy? By showing how our brains work, it aims to help us imagine our futures in new ways, ways that could leave us happier.

Who should read Stumbling on Happiness?

Students of psychology
Anyone interested in how our imagination works
Anyone interested in knowing how we predict the future

About the Author

Daniel Gilbert is a Professor of Psychology at Harvard University who has won numerous awards for his teaching and research. In addition to the international bestseller Stumbling on Happiness, his essays and writing have appeared in many publications including the New York Times and TIME.

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