The Sweet Spot Buchzusammenfassung - das Wichtigste aus The Sweet Spot

Einleitung anhören

00:00

Zusammenfassung von The Sweet Spot

Name: The Sweet Spot
Rating: 4.5 (725 reviews)
Author: Paul Bloom

Paul Bloom

The Pleasures of Suffering and the Search For Meaning

4.5 (725 Bewertungen)

21 Min.

Inhaltsübersicht

The Sweet Spot
in 5 Kernaussagen verstehen

Audio & Text in der Blinkist App

Kernaussage 1 von 5

What's in it for me? Find the sweet spot between pain and pay-off.

So, you like salt and vinegar crisps. You like the pinch at the back corner of your mouth, and though it doesn’t overwhelm, you love the sensory kick it gives you. Or maybe you’re into habanero sauce; you're into the perfumey fragrance of the chili that snakes its way through your sinuses – that fiery, blinding pain that stops everything, all thought and time. How about pushing yourself at the gym – doing that one last squat as your thighs quiver at the exertion?

Sounds like punishment, but there’s always a pay-off. There’s always gratification at the end of these ordeals.

So what is it about that feeling – that mix of pleasure and pain? Why do so many of us microdose on uncomfortable experiences like this? Is this our way of flirting with our mortality? We all know that at some point we’ll meet death and so maybe this is a way of forcing ourselves to remember that life is meant to be felt.

OK, yes, with some perspective, the kind of pain that I’ve just described can be read as “trivial” – a fleeting, instant bit of suffering, for a moment of pleasure. So what about the more serious or more meaningful choices that we make voluntarily that also result in the potential for pain? Like going to fight in a war, or donating a kidney? What’s going on there – why do so many of us sign up for that?

These are some of the conundrums The Sweet Spot gets into. It doesn’t claim to be the authority on the human appetite for pain and suffering, but it does share some interesting insights, which can give us pause for thought.

The pleasures of pain

Recently some of my friends have gotten into winter dipping. It’s this thing where in the bright, crisp coldness of winter, they go out to a lake, strip down into their swimming gear, brace themselves against the freezing air, and then, with their hands raised above their heads, wade into the icy water until they’re neck-deep. It’s so cold they can only be in there for a few seconds. But when they come back, they aren’t shivering intensely, as you might expect – they’re buzzing with energy, laughing, sparkling with an almost uncontainable joy.You probably have your own version of that type of experience, where you put yourself in an intense situation to feel something that’s both uncomfortable and blissful – too-much, but in a good way. These experiences all fall under a category researcher Paul Rozin calls “benign masochism.”Masochism was described by Freud as a pathology, a sign that we are mentally ill. I mean, choosing to hurt ourselves goes against all our survival instincts, doesn’t it? But benign masochism involves experiences that aren’t harmful or destructive in the long run. These kinds of experiences can actually make our lives more pleasurable.

Okay, now you might be wondering: How could short-term pain lead to pleasure?

Getting out of your head, and finding joy in effort

But contrast isn’t the only reason that people choose punishing experiences. There’s another very important motive, and this is it: pain can get us out of our heads.

To illustrate this, let’s look at the practice of BDSM. BDSM stands for “Bondage, Domination, Submission, Masochism.” It’s a sexual practice that’s been popularized by books like 50 Shades of Grey, and it’s a practice that involves power play, where one partner dominates another, sometimes with the use of pain. Participants could be tied up, or whipped, or spanked, or choked, or even shocked with an electric current. A very important proviso here, though: BDSM is consensual. All participants explicitly agree on what they’re comfortable doing, before they get into it. And like other benignly masochistic practices, the one experiencing the pain always, always has the power to stop it. And that’s absolutely essential to how BDSM is performed.

What’s the point? Meaning and purpose and other reflections

But there’s something missing – there must be more. The joy of being in the flow, or mastering new skills, isn’t enough to explain why people sign up for very grueling and dangerous situations, like climbing Mt. Everest, or going to war. For that, we need to introduce another important concept: meaning.

Renowned psychiatrist Viktor Frankl studied human resilience and flourishing in horrific circumstances. He found that people who felt their lives had a broader purpose – or meaning – were more resilient. In contrast to people who had no sense of their own lives having any significance, those equipped with a sense of purpose were able to rebuild their lives after great loss.Moments ago, I talked about the joys of effort and mastery – of doing a task for its own sake. But that’s only part of the story, because we don’t value effort equally. It might be tiring to climb up and down a flight of steps 5,000 times and, similarly, to climb Mt. Kilimanjaro. But while the former activity seems kind of pointless, maybe even a bit crazy, climbing a mountain seems brave and noble, even if there’s suffering involved. That’s because it’s seen as being a meaningful goal. In the same vein, if we want to understand why people volunteer to fight in dangerous wars, we have to consider the sense of meaning and purpose derived from that choice. What, for new recruits, is attractive about war? Well, for one, it gives them a sense of belonging – that they’re important and fighting a worthwhile cause. Yes, they may be sacrificing their lives, but their feeling is that it’s not for nothing. It’s for their group, or their country, or an ideal like “liberty.” It makes them feel like their lives have value, that they mean something because of the potential legacy of that sacrifice.But the decision to go to war may seem like a more fringe, extreme choice. A lot of us wouldn’t find the pull for meaning from that to be as strong. So let’s introduce a more popular choice in this pursuit for meaning – having children.

The components of a meaningful life

In 1988, Life Magazine asked the Dalai Lama, Maya Angelou and over a hundred other luminaries of the time, to reflect on what made life meaningful. As you can imagine, their answers differed widely. But they can be categorized as falling under four main themes.

Firstly, they described meaningful experiences as those which allowed them to connect with other people, and feel a sense of belonging.

Du möchtest die gesamte Zusammenfassung von The Sweet Spot sehen?

Kernaussagen in The Sweet Spot

Mehr Wissen in weniger Zeit

Sachbücher auf den Punkt gebracht

Kernaussagen aus Sachbüchern in ca. 15 Minuten pro Titel lesen & anhören mit den „Blinks”

Zeitsparende Empfehlungen

Titel, die dein Leben bereichern, passend zu deinen Interessen und Zielen

Podcasts in Kurzform ^Neu

Kernaussagen wichtiger Podcasts im Kurzformat mit den neuen „Shortcasts”

Worum geht es in The Sweet Spot ?

The Sweet Spot (2021) is a refreshing antidote to all the books we read about being positive at all costs. It argues that negative experiences like pain, suffering, and discomfort are not something to be shied away from. In fact, they can add value to our lives. Instead of trying to avoid discomfort, we need to find the right discomfort. That is, the kind of challenge that makes our lives meaningful.

Wer The Sweet Spot lesen sollte

Self-help fans who are tired of all the toxic positivity
Psychology lovers looking for an original perspective on how pain and suffering affect our lives
Reflective seekers looking to understand what will give their lives a sense of purpose

Über den Autor

Paul Bloom, a psychologist, teaches at the University of Toronto. He’s also the Brooks and Suzanne Ragen Professor Emeritus of Psychology at Yale University. A prolific writer, he’s been published in scientific journals as well as the New Yorker and the Atlantic. His other books include Just Babies, How Pleasure Works, and Against Empathy.

Kategorien mit The Sweet Spot

Psychologie Wissenschaft Achtsamkeit & Glück

Ähnlich wie The Sweet Spot

Against Empathy

Paul Bloom

The Case for Rational Compassion

16 min

4.3

The Laws of Human Nature

Robert Greene

What affects your day-to-day life

And Other Dangerous Situations

12 More Rules for Life

Crafting a Life That Matters

The Architecture of Belief

26 min

4.7

Out of Character

David DeSteno and Piercarlo Valdesolo

Surprising Truths about the Liar, Cheat, Sinner (and Saint) Lurking in All of Us

Building Empathy in a Fractured World

Toward a Psychology of Being

Abraham H. Maslow

Understanding Human Nature & the Fundamentals of Our Well-Being

How Philosophy Can Help Us Find Our Way

How Emotions Are Made

Lisa Feldman Barrett

The Secret Life of the Brain

How Looking Backward Moves us Forward

How to Get Time, Energy, and Priorities Working in Your Favor

How One Emotion Connects Altruists, Psychopaths and Everyone in Between

18 min

4.1

Reclaiming Conversation

Sherry Turkle

The Power of Talk in a Digital Age

The Surprising Solution to Overthinking

How to Assert Yourself, Listen to Others, and Resolve Conflicts

24 min

4.4

From Strength to Strength

Arthur C. Brooks

Finding Success, Happiness, and Deep Purpose in the Second Half of Life

Knowing When to Give It, When to Withhold It, How to Earn It, and How to Fix It When It Gets Broken

Improve your life by only focusing on the essentials

Unmask Your Shadow and Embrace Your Power

16 min

4.0

How to Be Your Own Therapist

Owen O'Kane

Boost Your Mood and Reduce Your Anxiety in 10 Minutes a Day

Why Anxiety Is Good for You (Even Though It Feels Bad)

The New Science of Spirituality and Our Quest for an Inspired Life

21 min

4.5

The 48 Laws of Power (New Version)

Robert Greene

The secret methods to getting what you want

How Breaking Family Patterns Can Liberate the Way We Live and Love

A Retelling of the Myths of Ancient Greece

Strategies and Skills that Will Unlock Your Hidden Powers to Succeed

A Guide to Managing Unhealthy Family Relationships

How Brain, Body, and Environment Collaborate to Make Us Who We Are

One of the most important philosophical texts ever written

21 min

4.6

My Morning Routine

Benjamin Spall and Michael Xander

How Successful People Start Every Day Inspired

27 min

4.1

The Power of the Pussy

Kara King

How to Get What You Want from Men: Love, Respect, Commitment and More!

Training Your Brain and Body to Thrive During Stress and Recover from Trauma

A Dystopian Classic on the Dark Side of Human Nature and Survival

How to Focus on Your Goals and Create a Life You Love

21 min

4.3

Man’s Search for Meaning

Viktor Frankl

The harrowing experiences of the author in a concentration camp

17 min

4.4

Start, Stay, or Leave

Trey Gowdy

The Art of Decision Making

16 min

4.3

ADHD 2.0

Edward M. Hallowell and John J. Ratey

New Science and Essential Strategies for Thriving with Distraction – from Childhood through Adulthood

25 min

4.7

Your Brain on Art

Susan Magsamen & Ivy Ross

How the Arts Transform Us

17 min

4.6

Myth America

Kevin M. Kruse and Julian E. Zelizer

Historians Take on the Biggest Legends and Lies about Our Past

19 min

2.9

On Being and Becoming

Jennifer Anna Gosetti-Ferencei

An Existentialist Approach to Life

How We Gain and Lose Influence

A Guide To Spiritual Enlightenment

How to Release Your Trapped Emotions for Abundant Health, Love, and Happiness

25 min

3.9

The Procrastination Cure

Damon Zahariades

21 Proven Tactics for Conquering Your Inner Procrastinator, Mastering Your Time, and Boosting Your Productivity!

A Guide to Compassionate Living

16 min

4.5

❤️ für Blinkist️️️

Ines S.

Ich bin begeistert. Ich liebe Bücher aber durch zwei kleine Kinder komme ich einfach nicht zum Lesen. Und ja, viele Bücher haben viel bla bla und die Quintessenz ist eigentlich ein Bruchteil.

Genau dafür ist Blinkist total genial! Es wird auf das Wesentliche reduziert, die Blinks sind gut verständlich, gut zusammengefasst und auch hörbar! Das ist super. 80 Euro für ein ganzes Jahr klingt viel, aber dafür unbegrenzt Zugriff auf 3000 Bücher. Und dieses Wissen und die Zeitersparnis ist unbezahlbar.

Ekaterina S.

Extrem empfehlenswert. Statt sinnlos im Facebook zu scrollen höre ich jetzt täglich zwischen 3-4 "Bücher". Bei manchen wird schnelle klar, dass der Kauf unnötig ist, da schon das wichtigste zusammen gefasst wurde..bei anderen macht es Lust doch das Buch selbständig zu lesen. Wirklich toll

Nils S.

Einer der besten, bequemsten und sinnvollsten Apps die auf ein Handy gehören. Jeden morgen 15-20 Minuten für die eigene Weiterbildung/Entwicklung oder Wissen.

Julia P.

Viele tolle Bücher, auf deren Kernaussagen reduziert- präzise und ansprechend zusammengefasst. Endlich habe ich das Gefühl, Zeit für Bücher zu finden, für die ich sonst keine Zeit habe.