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Zusammenfassung von The Art of Loving

Name: The Art of Loving
Rating: 3.8 (169 reviews)
Author: Erich Fromm

Erich Fromm

The classic guide to love

3.8 (169 Bewertungen)

12 Min.

Themen

Love Marriage

Inhaltsübersicht

The Art of Loving
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What’s in it for me? A classic exploration of the ingredients of love.

Whether represented in Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet or James Cameron’s Titanic, love is a subject we find eternally fascinating, and part of the fascination doubtless stems from our inability to comprehend what it actually is. Is it merely a chemical reaction in the brain? Or is it something magical and, therefore, ultimately unknowable?

These blinks, based on Erich Fromm’s classic exploration of love, shed light on why and how we love. They take you on a journey through the various forms of loving. You’ll have experienced some of these forms; others may be new to you. You’ll also gain insight into how to maximize your ability to love – a skill that is truly priceless.

In these blinks, you’ll also discover

the difference between motherly and fatherly love;
how modern society is damaging our ability to love; and
why practicing love is like practicing a musical instrument.

Love is an art – but few people see it this way.

What is love? An overwhelming sensation that we hope to experience? A chance encounter? All we need in life? While it can be all of these things, there’s more to love than passion and fate. Much like any other form of art, love must be learned.

And yet, most of us think there’s little to be learned about love. Why? Well, we assume that love gets complicated when it comes to receiving it. When relationships fail, we often blame ourselves: we simply weren’t lovable enough.

On top of this, we live in a culture of consumption, a culture that’s made love into just another commodity to be traded on the market. So we approach it with a market mindset. When two people fall in love, they feel that they’ve found the best object available on the market in light of their own exchange value.

Finally, we’re continually confusing the different states of love. Are we falling in love, or are we being in love? That sudden and stunning period of intimacy we feel after falling in love is often the result of sexual attraction. Yet, when it disappears, we often feel that love itself has disappeared, too!

These false conceptions of love must be overcome.

We can start doing this by changing our perspective on love – to learn it as we would learn to paint or play the piano. And just like painting or piano playing, it all starts with theory.

So, in the following blinks, let’s explore what the theory of love entails and how we can put that theory into action.

Love is an act of giving, and it may be unconditional or conditional.

Love is universal, and it’s often one of the very first things we experience. In loving relationships, two people can become as one and yet remain independent and free. How? By being mutually willing to give love.

Love is all about giving, and it has four key elements: care, responsibility, respect and knowledge. Demonstrating each of these elements is what makes your love an active, giving love.

There are other types of love: brotherly love, erotic love, self-love and the love of God.

Maternal love and paternal love aren’t the only two forms of love, of course. Love comes in all shapes and sizes. Brotherly love, erotic love, self-love and the love of God are four further manifestations of love. Let’s explore them and see how they compare with maternal love and with each other.

Brotherly love provides the foundation for all other forms of love. It means directing the four key elements – caring, responsibility, respect and knowledge – toward any other human being. Brotherly love is what allows us to feel the human solidarity that is at the heart of many religions. As is written in the New Testament: love thy neighbor as thyself.

Modern capitalism turns our loving relationships into profitable exchanges.

In the first blink, we learned how a consumerist culture warps our conception of love. Let’s explore this further and get to the bottom of how Western capitalism harms our ability to give and receive love.

Modern capitalism is defined by its radical division of labor. In large businesses, where employees perform highly specialized tasks, workers become nothing more than small cogs in a huge machine. In the auto industry, for instance, this specialization even limits workers to a single action. One worker may be responsible for mounting car doors on the assembly line, and nothing else.

There are three principles at the heart of loving: discipline, concentration and patience.

If you were hoping for an easy-to-apply formula for loving in this final blink – well, sorry! Loving isn’t that simple. But, there are three principles that will guide you as you learn the art of loving, or, for that matter, any other art form!

The first is discipline. As in any art, discipline is crucial, and you’ll need it if you want to love well. We can bring discipline to our life by getting out of bed at a regular hour and devoting a set amount of time each week to activities that help us grow, such as meditation, reading or exercise. And we can try not to indulge too much in escapism, by watching movies or substituting a mystery novel for our real life.

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Worum geht es in The Art of Loving?

The Art of Loving (1956) argues that love, like any other creative art, is something humans must practice in order to master. German-born psychologist and philosopher Erich Fromm describes various forms of love and highlights threats posed to them by capitalist society.

Bestes Zitat aus The Art of Loving

Is love an art? Then it requires knowledge and effort.

—Erich Fromm

Wer The Art of Loving lesen sollte

Lovers
People who want to know what giving and receiving love entails
Anyone who likes classic books

Über den Autor

Erich Fromm (1900-1980) was a world-renowned psychologist, sociologist and philosopher. Fromm represented the idea of a humanistic, democratic socialism. Born in Frankfurt am Main, Germany, he was the child of orthodox Jewish parents. In 1934, after the Nazis took over power in Germany, he moved to New York, later becoming a US citizen and professor at several universities including Columbia and Yale.

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