The Lost Art of Connecting Book Summary - The Lost Art of Connecting Book explained in key points
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The Lost Art of Connecting summary

Susan McPherson

The Gather, Ask, Do Method for Building Meaningful Business Relationships

4.3 (78 ratings)
18 mins
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    The Lost Art of Connecting
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    To build meaningful professional connections, be clear about your goals.

    Imagine it’s your first day at a new job. You walk into your first big meeting. As you look around, there’s a sea of new faces surrounding you. You don’t know anybody! Panic sets in and your mind races: Who should I talk to? What will these people think of me? What do I look like? What should I say?

    If this scenario sounds familiar, you’re far from alone. Even extroverts like the author Susan McPherson – a communications consultant and self-proclaimed “serial connector” – experience anxiety in new social situations. But, there’s a way to transcend the fear of networking by using the author’s three-step framework known as Gather, Ask, Do.

    The key message here is: To build meaningful professional connections, be clear about your goals.

    The night sky, with its panorama of constellations, has mesmerized generations for centuries. But have you ever considered that, out of 250 billion stars in the galaxy, only a select few align in just the right way to create those remarkable constellations? And just as you don’t know what constellations are above you until you search for them, you don't know how you’re connected to others until you search for the patterns connecting you. That’s what the initial Gather phase is all about.

    Lay down the foundations for your personal constellation by connecting with yourself first. Examining how you operate in personal relationships sheds light on how you operate professionally.

    As psychotherapist Esther Perel puts it, most interpersonal skills are developed throughout childhood, which means they’re inevitably taken to the workplace in later life. So even if you think of yourself as having a separate work persona, at the end of the day, your “work self” and “personal self” are the same; they have the same personal history. That’s why it’s worth analyzing your personal relationships – like how you handle conflict, or what you need to trust someone – when considering your professional compatibility with others.

    It’s also important to be clear about your professional goals. Are you looking to get hired? Are you seeking a business partner? Or maybe you have an idea that requires expert consultation? Write your goals down and keep them handy. Being intentional about your needs and wants allows you to navigate which professional relationships to target in the next phase.

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    What is The Lost Art of Connecting about?

    The Lost Art of Connection (2021) is about building more authentic relationships at work and in life. It shows how professional networking doesn’t always have to be transactional, and offers the three-step Gather, Ask, Do method for building meaningful relationships and breaking down the technological barriers to deeper human connection.

    Who should read The Lost Art of Connecting?

    • Professionals who want to expand their network
    • People who want to improve their interpersonal skills
    • Anyone who wants to deepen their relationships with others

    About the Author

    Susan McPherson is a “serial connector” and founder and CEO of McPherson Strategies, a communications consultancy focusing on the intersection between brands and social impact. She’s contributed to the Harvard Business Review, Fast Company, and Forbes magazines.

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