No Bad Parts Buchzusammenfassung - das Wichtigste aus No Bad Parts

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Zusammenfassung von No Bad Parts

Name: No Bad Parts
Rating: 4.6 (349 reviews)
Author: Richard C. Schwartz

Richard C. Schwartz

Healing Trauma and Restoring Wholeness with the Internal Family Systems Model

4.6 (349 Bewertungen)

22 Min.

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Das Gehirn Menschsein Trauma & Heilung

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No Bad Parts
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What’s in it for me? Learn to engage with all your inner voices and allow them to flourish.

Have you ever felt so conflicted about a decision that you became completely stuck?

Internal conflicts happen when different voices in your head try to run the show. You don’t have one unified mind, nobody has. Instead, you have a cacophony of parts, with different personalities and perspectives.

That might sound alarming, but it’s actually a gift. Your different parts are what make you a multifaceted, compassionate human being.

But if these parts experience trauma as you grow up, they can start behaving destructively. Even though they’re just trying to protect you, your parts can end up limiting you with damaging beliefs and coping mechanisms.

So how can you stop that from happening, and harness the power of your different parts for good? You’re about to find out.

In these blinks, you’ll learn

why the idea of the mono-mind is so pervasive;
how to reparent your inner children; and
why too much meditation can be bad for you.

We’re all made up of multiple parts – different, sometimes contradictory personalities.

Think of the last time you struggled to make up your mind about something. Perhaps you wanted to quit your job and went back and forth about whether it was a good idea. Or you tried to force yourself to give a speech at a wedding, despite being terrified of public speaking.

These internal debates are conversations between different parts of you: different personalities that together form who you are.

If the idea of having different parts sounds strange, it’s because we’ve all grown up absorbing the idea that we have a mono-mind – a mind that sees the world in a single, unified way. But the truth is, any internal dilemma reveals that our minds contain multiple voices and urges.

The key message here is: We’re all made up of multiple parts – different, sometimes contradictory personalities.

These different voices aren’t valued in our culture. In fact, according to the mono-mind theory, this multiplicity might be the result of sick, disordered thinking, and we need to eliminate these voices because they don’t represent who we really are.

Mono-mind theory has become entrenched over centuries of religious and spiritual doctrine. Christian scriptures preach that we must always suppress the sinful urges inside us that will lead us astray. Buddhism talks about the “monkey mind” that needs to be controlled.

And the field of psychology offers a plethora of diagnoses that pathologize conflicting parts. Patients are given tools to try and control multiple voices through the use of willpower and control, or even mindfulness. Medication muffles painful emotions and stops us from being in tune with our bodies.

The author, Dr. Richard Schwartz, used to believe in mono-mind theory too. In his family therapy practice, he tried to get clients to deal with disorders like bulimia by suppressing the urges inside them that would lead them to binge and purge. But the more his clients tried to eliminate these urges, the stronger the urges became.

Then he had a revelation. Instead of trying to eliminate his clients’ destructive urges, he could engage with them. He started encouraging his patients to share the thoughts and sensations occupying their minds. They told him about the critical inner voices inside them that caused so much pain and shame that bingeing and purging felt like the only reprieve.

When the author and his patients started working with, instead of against, these critical voices, something remarkable happened: they began to heal.

We have no bad parts, but our parts can become stuck in destructive roles.

Our parts are inner beings who bring rich variety to our lives. They have different personalities, preferences, and resources. For example, an angry part can help us develop boundaries, and discern when we’re uncomfortable. An intellectual part can help us analyze and make sense of the world around us.

None of our parts are intrinsically bad. They all want to protect and enrich us. But, sometimes, trauma can damage some parts so badly that they become trapped in unhealthy roles. Strategies they developed to protect us as children follow us into adulthood, and can become counterproductive.

We all possess a core Self – even though it’s not always visible.

As a family therapist, the author was used to people fighting in his consulting room. He was trained to see families as part of a system: a set of relationships operating in a specific context. He’s seen how, for example, a mother and daughter would sling insults at each other, causing the father to withdraw and the other siblings to act out. Families are like delicate ecosystems: changes in one area will always have an effect on other parts.

What he hadn’t realized, though, is that our inner parts have their own family dynamic, too. They might be feuding or protecting each other, allies, or frenemies. Most importantly, they’re always working in relation to our Self.

In order to heal, we need to reparent our inner children.

Children who have a secure attachment to their parents have the stability to flourish. But children with emotionally unavailable parents lack a solid foundation.

Many of our inner parts are like these children, burdened with maladaptive coping mechanisms. The job of the Self is to start reparenting those parts with love and compassion: to act like the parents we might have missed growing up.

When we create internal harmony, the outside world becomes more peaceful as well.

Imagine seeing someone who really irritates or upsets you – someone who really knows how to press your buttons. Notice what happens in your body as you look at them. Do some parts tense up? Does your breathing change? You can feel your inner protectors start to spring to your defense as these responses are triggered. Are they filling your mind with angry arguments? Or making you shut down and become quiet and sulky?

When you have lots of protectors looking after fragile exiles, it changes how you relate to other people. You’re only able to see their protectors, and behave defensively or aggressively around them. But once you start to heal your parts, you’ll notice something remarkable: you’ll start seeing those same people with loving understanding.

Healing is about learning to be in our bodies and experiencing pain.

The author’s father could be a warm, kind man – but when he was angry, he would lose control and fly into rages. He beat the author frequently, and once yelled that he was “good for nothing.”

The author dealt with the anger he felt at his father by playing American football. Fired up with rage, he would take enormous physical risks, crashing into other players. Playing the game filled him with adrenaline, which numbed all his painful feelings.

Connect with your inner parts through daily practice.

Connecting with your inner parts takes practice. It’s something you work at continuously, rather than a destination you arrive at. Through doing daily exercises and visualizations, you’ll develop trusting relationships with your exiles and protectors. Consistency is key – if they see that you keep showing up, they’ll learn to trust you.

To begin, set up as if you’re about to meditate. Sit somewhere you feel relaxed, and do some deep breathing to ground yourself before starting. Then do a scan of your body and mind, and notice any emotions, sensations, or impulses that emerge.

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Worum geht es in No Bad Parts?

No Bad Parts (2021) argues that we’re all made up of many distinct parts, like inner voices, that add different things to our lives. By engaging these parts directly, we can heal past traumas and transform the way we relate to ourselves and the world.

Wer No Bad Parts lesen sollte

Deep thinkers who experience internal conflict
Psychology buffs interested in an original approach to the mind
People who feel numb and dissociated because of early traumatic experiences

Über den Autor

Richard C. Schwartz, PhD pioneered the therapeutic method called Internal Family Systems and is director of an institute by the same name that shares the work around the world. He’s published five books and over 50 articles on this therapy and is a sought-after public speaker.

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