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Zusammenfassung von Bringing Up Bébé

Name: Bringing Up Bébé
Rating: 4.4 (113 reviews)
Author: Pamela Druckerman

Pamela Druckerman

One American Mother Discovers the Wisdom of French Parenting

4.4 (113 Bewertungen)

13 Min.

Themen

Familienplanung Routinen & Gewohnheiten Erziehung und Heranwachsen

Inhaltsübersicht

Bringing Up Bébé
in 6 Kernaussagen verstehen

Audio & Text in der Blinkist App

Kernaussage 1 von 6

What’s in it for me? Improve your parenting skills the French way.

If you were to ask a French person about the French style of parenting, they would would probably say it’s nothing special. After all, parenting is just parenting, right?

Still, as anyone who’s ever been to France will have noticed, French children are just exceptionally well behaved and independent, even from a very young age. No whining about things they can’t have, no dinner table tantrums and no confusion as to who’s really the boss.

So how do the French do it?

These blinks outline the lessons learned first hand from an American mother who had a child in France. As you’ll see, by adopting a few simple rules, you can not only make your child behave much better, but also carve out more time for yourself and your needs.

In these blinks, you’ll learn

why there are no kids’ menus in France;
what marshmallows have to do with raising children; and
why you should embrace gender differences.

Babies sleep through the night if they can soothe themselves back to sleep.

Sleepless nights are inevitable for new parents, right? Not necessarily! French children tend to sleep through the night, in some case starting when they’re just a few weeks old.

What’s the secret of parents who raise these quiet babies? It’s in how they respond to them.

Babies make a lot of noise at night, but their cries don’t always mean they need something. In fact, babies naturally wake up every few hours because they sleep in short cycles. Sometimes they wriggle or cry just because they’re trying to get back to sleep.

Also, it’s actually rare for a baby to need food during the night; digestion interferes with their sleep, just like it does in adults.

In 1993, the journal Pediatrics published a study by Teresa Pinella and Leann Birch instructing new mothers on how to soothe their babies. They came up with three rules:

don’t rock the baby to sleep;
only feed them during the night if you’ve already tried swaddling them, patting them, walking them around and changing their diapers; and
learn the difference between whimpering and real crying.

Pinella and Birch also found that among parents following these instructions, 38 percent of their babies could sleep through the night after just four weeks, compared to just seven percent of those who didn’t receive the instructions.

You also need to wait before responding to your baby. Don’t intervene right away when they cry. Give them a chance to fall back asleep on their own – babies often aren’t fully awake when they start crying, so you might make it worse if you pick them up.

This doesn’t mean you should ignore a crying baby, but you should make the pause longer over time. Pause for just a few seconds with a newborn and increase the time interval until you’re eventually waiting a few minutes.

Babies need time to learn how to get back to sleep by themselves, and it’s your responsibility to help them develop that autonomy.

Develop your children’s taste for healthier food.

Children can be picky eaters, especially in the United States. American children often end up eating only a very limited amount of food. But not so in France!

Children can be trained to eat virtually anything. But when the author visited a range of seafood, Italian and Cuban restaurants in the United States, she found that most offered them the same items: hamburgers, chicken fingers and pizza.

Strict adherence to mealtimes makes children healthier and more self-disciplined.

How many times have you eaten a sandwich at your desk during work, or grabbed a snack on the way home? We tend to enforce mealtimes on kids, without always following them ourselves. But the French know that mealtimes are about more than just staying slim.

Fixed mealtimes help reduce calorie intake, so they reduce the risk of obesity too. Nearly all French children eat four times a day: at 8 a.m., midday, 4 p.m. and finally at 8 p.m.

You don’t have to abandon your own needs when you have children.

When American couples have children, they tend to view their child’s birth as the end of their previous life and the start of a new one. American parents are under a lot of societal pressure to put their family’s needs before their own – whether in terms of passions, money or sex.

In France, it’s considered unhealthy to sacrifice your sex life for your children. In fact, the French believe that the loss of sex drive is a psychological disorder. It’s viewed as a form of depression and is treated as such.

French parents embrace gender differences.

These days, people are doing a lot of work to break down the gender divide. French women do too, but they have a different take on the issue. They believe that we need to embrace certain gender disparities, and celebrate our differences.

So French women don’t expect men to match them in their child caring skills. According to Debra Ollivier, the author of What French Women Know, French women are content to view men as different kinds of people who simply aren’t as good at buying diapers or scheduling appointments with the pediatrician. French men aren’t under pressure to be perfect like American men are.

Don't smother your children, but learn how to really say “no.”

The term helicopter parenting has gained a lot of currency in the United States in recent years. It refers to modern parents’ tendency to hover around all aspects of their child’s life, inhibiting their ability to think for themselves and develop their autonomy.

This isn’t how it works in France.

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Worum geht es in Bringing Up Bébé?

It might sound too good to be true, but in France, babies and children sleep through the night, eat their vegetables and do what their parents tell them. In Bringing Up Bébé (2011), Pamela Druckerman, an American mother living in Paris, reveals the French parenting secrets she uncovered in her time abroad.

Bestes Zitat aus Bringing Up Bébé

The French seem collectively to have achieved the miracle of getting babies and toddlers not just to wait, but to do so happily.

—Pamela Druckerman

Wer Bringing Up Bébé lesen sollte

Parents and parents-to-be
Francophiles
Anyone who works with preschool age children

Über den Autor

Pamela Druckerman is a former staff reporter for the Wall Street Journal and has written op-eds for The Guardian, The New York Times and The Washington Post. She is also author of Lust In Translation: Infidelity from Tokyo to Tennessee.

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