I’m Ok, You’re Ok Book Summary - I’m Ok, You’re Ok Book explained in key points
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I’m Ok, You’re Ok summary

Thomas A. Harris

Discover your inner parent and your inner child

4.3 (152 ratings)
18 mins

Brief summary

"I'm Ok, You're Ok" by Thomas A. Harris is a self-help book that encourages an optimistic outlook on life. It provides insights on how to build positive relationships, communicate effectively, and achieve personal growth through introspection and self-acceptance.

Table of Contents

    I’m Ok, You’re Ok
    Summary of 8 key ideas

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    Key idea 1 of 8

    Our memories are linked to powerful emotions that are better understood when analyzed.

    Have you ever heard a loved one talk in his or her sleep?

    You may think these nocturnal mutterings are rather mysterious – but they’re actually prompted by memories stored in the brain.

    Certain parts of the brain are responsible for our memories and the feelings we associate with them.

    This was first discovered in 1951 by the Montreal brain surgeon Wilder Penfield, who stimulated certain parts of his patients’ brains with an electrode. Since the patients were only under local anesthesia, they could describe the different responses to the various areas being stimulated, which is how Penfield found that the temporal cortex of the brain is connected to visual memory, language and emotion.

    When Penfield touched a certain point on the patient’s brain, the patient would make seemingly random statements, such as describing a previous conversation or a popular television commercial.

    What was really impressive was that the patient didn’t only reexperience the memory but also felt emotions connected to it. In other words, the patients relived the experience emotionally, not only recalled it.

    You can also relive memories unconsciously.

    Our own memories are most often triggered by everyday occurrences and impressions, such as sounds or smells. Once triggered, these memories can cause us to relive past experiences.

    Though this process usually happens unconsciously, we can also take the time to dig up memories, especially when we want to analyze our emotions.

    For example, say there’s a song that makes you feel sad whenever you hear it. You may not understand this unconscious reaction, but if you were to sit down, perhaps with a therapist, you could figure out which past experience and emotions the song is attached to.

    The author did this very thing with a patient to help her remember that her mother, who died when she was just five years old, used to play a particular song on the piano.

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    What is I’m Ok, You’re Ok about?

    I’m Ok, You’re Ok (1969) is a valuable guide to understanding how our past experiences and memories affect our life in the present. Even our earliest childhood years can keep us from leading the life we desire – so find out how you can take control of your emotions and break free from the past in order to have a healthy and happy future.

    I’m Ok, You’re Ok Review

    I’m Ok, You’re Ok (1967) is a thought-provoking book that explores the psychology of human relationships and how we can achieve emotional well-being. Here's why this book is definitely worth reading:

    • With its clear explanations and relatable examples, it offers practical insights into understanding and improving our interactions with others.
    • By demystifying psychological concepts and using simple language, it makes complex ideas accessible to a wide range of readers.
    • The book's emphasis on personal growth and self-acceptance keeps readers engaged and motivated to create positive changes in their lives.

    Best quote from I’m Ok, You’re Ok

    Continual observation has supported the assumption that these three states exist in all people.

    —Thomas A. Harris
    example alt text

    Who should read I’m Ok, You’re Ok?

    • Decision makers who have trouble actually making decisions
    • Emotional and anxious people hunting for the source of their worries
    • Psychologists and people who work in the helping professions

    About the Author

    Thomas A. Harris is a successful psychiatrist who worked for the United States Navy. He later became a university professor and founded an association for Transactional Analysis, a therapeutic method based on the ideas of psychologist Dr. Eric Berne.

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    I’m Ok, You’re Ok FAQs 

    What is the main message of I’m Ok, You’re Ok?

    The main message of I’m Ok, You’re Ok is that healthy relationships require mutual understanding and acceptance.

    How long does it take to read I’m Ok, You’re Ok?

    The reading time for I’m Ok, You’re Ok varies depending on the reader, but it typically takes several hours. The Blinkist summary can be read in just 15 minutes.

    Is I’m Ok, You’re Ok a good book? Is it worth reading?

    I’m Ok, You’re Ok is worth reading because it provides valuable insights into how to develop healthy and fulfilling relationships.

    Who is the author of I’m Ok, You’re Ok?

    The author of I’m Ok, You’re Ok is Thomas A. Harris.

    What to read after I’m Ok, You’re Ok?

    If you're wondering what to read next after I’m Ok, You’re Ok, here are some recommendations we suggest:
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