How to Meet Your Self Book Summary - How to Meet Your Self Book explained in key points
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How to Meet Your Self summary

Nicole LePera

The Workbook for Self-Discovery

4.2 (143 ratings)
16 mins
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    How to Meet Your Self
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    Key idea 1 of 5

    Become conscious.

    A few years ago, the author, Nicole LePera, felt stuck. 

    On Monday morning she would drag herself out of bed, go to work, and then go through the week on autopilot, feeling burned out and exhausted. As a therapist, she was focused on helping others, but she was barely conscious of her own needs.

    Does this sound familiar? So often, we find ourselves stuck on autopilot. We sleepwalk through life, rather than acting consciously. 

    According to LePera, we have a “habit self,” which is unconscious, and formed through our past experiences. For example, your habit self could be irritable and quick to anger. Maybe you find yourself snapping at your partner or children without knowing why.

    But your habit self is not the real you. So it’s time to break the habit.

    The first step is to become conscious. You need to be fully aware of your habits in order to change them.

    “Consciousness” may sound like a daunting concept, but it’s actually very simple. You’re going to become conscious right now. Ready?

    Close your eyes. 

    Now, notice any thoughts that appear. Maybe you find yourself thinking about something you have to do later.

    Then pay attention to any sensations in your body. What do you notice? Feelings of hunger? Boredom? 

    You can open your eyes now. 

    Congratulations, you’ve just become conscious. That’s really all there is to it – becoming aware of what you’re experiencing, both internally and externally.

    Consciousness helps us to gain self-awareness. When you’re conscious, you’re no longer living on autopilot. So you can see that your habits are not really you – they’re just automatic, conditioned behavior. That’s why becoming conscious is an essential part of discovering your true self.

    And it’s something you can practice. Try the “daily consciousness check-in.” 

    Choose three moments during the day to take a pause. Set an alarm or a reminder on your phone, if you like, so you don’t forget. Then, during these moments, ask yourself, “What am I doing?” and “Where’s my attention right now?” 

    There are also many other ways you can practice becoming conscious, as part of your daily routine. 

    For instance, really savor ordinary experiences like eating a meal, or having a shower. Check in with your senses, and notice what you’re feeling in that moment. 

    Also, start to consciously notice your breath. Pause every now and then, and pay attention to your breathing. Is it slow or quick? Shallow or deep? See if certain thoughts or experiences change your breathing pattern.

    Turn these exercises into habits. Over time, consciousness will become easier, and more automatic.

    When you take up a new habit, you’re creating new neural pathways in the brain. Thanks to a quality known as neuroplasticity, our brains are constantly changing. And we can change them, through our own behavior. 

    So, keep that in mind. Even if you feel stuck, you can always take up new, positive habits. You have the power to rewire your brain.

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    What is How to Meet Your Self about?

    How to Meet Your Self (2022) is a practical guide to self-discovery. These simple exercises can help you to become more conscious, and more in touch with your own body and emotions, ultimately allowing you to discover your true self.

    Who should read How to Meet Your Self?

    • Self seekers
    • People who feel stuck on autopilot
    • Anyone who’s unhappy and doesn’t know why

    About the Author

    Nicole LePera is a clinical psychologist who trained at Cornell University, and the author of the best-selling How to Do the Work. On Instagram, as The Holistic Psychologist, she has 6 million followers.

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