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Blink 3 of 8 - The 5 AM Club
by Robin Sharma
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The Invisible Orientation summary
Julie Sondra Decker
An Introduction to Asexuality
16 mins
Brief summary
'The Invisible Orientation' by Julie Sondra Decker is a comprehensive guide to asexuality. It aims to educate readers on the diversity of sexuality and promote inclusion and understanding for asexual individuals.
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The Invisible Orientation
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Key idea 1 of 6
Asexuality is a sexual orientation that describes experiencing a lack of sexual attraction to anyone.
If you’ve ever encountered someone and felt sexually enticed by his or her appearance, then you’re familiar with basic sexual attraction.
Let’s take a moment to define some terms, here. Don’t confuse sexual attraction with arousal, or sex drive, all of which are different things.
Sexual attraction simply refers to the emotional reaction of finding someone sexually appealing, whereas arousal describes a physical reaction and sex drive is the desire to respond to that arousal.
For many, this distinction isn’t that important, since these reactions usually go together, with one following the other: if you find someone sexually attractive, you are easily aroused and then feel the desire to pursue these feelings.
But there are also people who identify as asexual, which means they’re not sexually attracted to anyone. If you were to ask them who they find sexy, the answer would be “Nobody.”
Now this doesn’t mean they can’t get aroused or feel the desire to do something about it.
Yes, some asexual people are repulsed by the idea of having sex, but others are indifferent and might perform the act as a favor to a partner.
If an asexual person chooses to engage in sex or masturbation, that does not put an end to their asexuality. It’s important to remember that behavior is not what defines sexual orientation. Just like anyone else, asexual people are perfectly capable of having sex with people they don't find attractive.
In fact, asexual people might masturbate for the same reason most people do: because it feels good, and they want to enjoy the rush of endorphins or relieve stress.
And as with other sexual orientations, being asexual is neither a decision nor a choice. After all, no one can choose to find someone attractive; it just happens.
Others will often respond to an asexual person with condescension, saying, “Just wait, one day you’ll find someone attractive,” suggesting that the person doesn't fully understand his or her own feelings.
The fact of the matter is this: asexuality is a sexual orientation just like any other, since it describes how a person experiences attraction.
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What is The Invisible Orientation about?
The Invisible Orientation (2014) provides a helpful introduction to asexuality, including valuable information on both what it is and what it is not. You’ll also learn about how people experience this sexual orientation, the difficulties that come with it, and why there is no need to cure it, condescend to it or consider asexual people as being any different from you or me.
The Invisible Orientation Review
The Invisible Orientation (2014) by Julie Sondra Decker is a thought-provoking exploration of a widely misunderstood and often ignored topic: asexuality. Here's why this book is definitely worth a read:
- Packed with eye-opening insights, it offers a comprehensive look at asexuality, debunking misconceptions and increasing awareness.
- Through personal stories and scientific research, it provides a deeper understanding of asexuality, allowing readers to empathize and support asexual individuals.
- With its accessible writing style and relatable examples, it ensures that the topic remains engaging and intriguing, shedding light on an invisible orientation.
Best quote from The Invisible Orientation
Approximately one percent of the population is asexual.
—Julie Sondra Decker
Who should read The Invisible Orientation?
- Anyone interested in how sexual attraction works
- Adults who are wondering about their sexual orientation
- Sociologists interested in the variety of human life
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The Invisible Orientation FAQs
What is the main message of The Invisible Orientation?
The main message of The Invisible Orientation is to bring awareness and understanding to asexuality and the spectrum of sexual orientations.
How long does it take to read The Invisible Orientation?
The reading time for The Invisible Orientation varies, but it typically takes a few hours. The Blinkist summary can be read in just 15 minutes.
Is The Invisible Orientation a good book? Is it worth reading?
The Invisible Orientation is an insightful and educational read. It sheds light on an often overlooked topic and promotes inclusivity.
Who is the author of The Invisible Orientation?
Julie Sondra Decker is the author of The Invisible Orientation.
What to read after The Invisible Orientation?
If you're wondering what to read next after The Invisible Orientation, here are some recommendations we suggest:
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- The Midnight Library by Matt Haig
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- On the Origin of Species by Charles Darwin
- Do What You Are by Paul D. Tieger
- Marriage Be Hard by Kevin and Melissa Fredericks
- Single, Dating, Engaged, Married by Ben Stuart
- The Chaos Machine by Max Fisher
- Indistractable by Nir Eyal
- Ultralearning by Scott H. Young