What to Do If... ? Book Summary - What to Do If... ? Book explained in key points
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What to Do If... ? summary

Anne-maartje Oud

35 Questions You'll Need to Answer at Work

4.3 (60 ratings)
17 mins

Brief summary

What to Do If... ? addresses common workplace dilemmas, offering pragmatic advice to handle challenging situations effectively. Anne-maartje Oud guides us through conflict resolution, communication strategies, and fostering a healthier work environment.

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    What to Do If... ?
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    Behavior and identity are two different things

    Behaviour and identity get tangled up more often than they should. Most of us like to think we’re consistent people, so when someone suggests we change how we act, it can feel like we’re being asked to change who we are. That’s where resistance creeps in. Leaders talk about better performance, smoother collaboration, clearer communication. Then the moment arrives where they might need to act differently, and something pulls them back. It feels inauthentic, like putting on a mask.

    But behaviour isn’t identity. It’s closer to clothing than to skin: you can change it to suit the weather without becoming a different person.

    Think about a manager who’s known for being warm and supportive. One day she has to tell a team member, plainly, that their work isn’t good enough. She chooses her words carefully, but they don’t soften the message. That doesn’t suddenly make her cold; it just means she’s doing what the situation requires. Or take a colleague who’s usually patient and thoughtful. After a long afternoon of deadlines and back-to-back calls, he snaps at someone. It’s not his finest moment, but it’s also not his identity. A quick “sorry about earlier” the next day is usually enough to reset things.

    Once you stop treating behaviour as a fixed label, it becomes easier to experiment. You can try things on. You can adjust. You can drop what doesn’t fit. A simple way into this is to watch people you admire at work. Notice what they actually do. The colleague who comes across as confident in meetings is probably not confident by accident. They sit upright, they don’t rush their words, they leave a beat before they respond. None of that’s magic. It’s behaviour you can copy and practise.

    The same goes for other skills. If you want to seem more decisive, try ending meetings with a clear summary, like “Here’s what we agreed, here’s what happens next.” If you want to come across as more approachable, start a tough conversation with something human, like “How are you doing today?” before getting into the issue.

    It might feel a bit awkward at first, but that’s normal: anything new does. The key is to reflect as you go. What worked? What felt right? What would you do again? Over time, these small adjustments add up. You become more flexible and more effective while remaining true to yourself.

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    What is What to Do If... ? about?

    What to Do If…? (2026) is a hands-on playbook for the messy, human side of modern work. It shows you how to read behaviour in real time, communicate without confusion, give feedback people can actually use, and hire in a way that doesn’t come back to bite you. Through simple tools and recognisable scenarios, it equips managers, HR professionals, and team members to handle tricky moments with clarity instead of guesswork.

    Who should read What to Do If... ??

    • Managers dealing with tricky team dynamics
    • HR experts focused on culture, hiring, and behaviour
    • Anyone who wants to lead more effectively without becoming someone they’re not

    About the Author

    Anne-Maartje Oud is the founder and CEO of the Behaviour Company, an Amsterdam-based consultancy that designs personal development programmes for organisations around the world. She has advised both non-profit organisations and major Fortune 500 companies and has over two decades experience studying workplace behaviour, communication, and leadership.

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