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Blink 3 of 8 - The 5 AM Club
by Robin Sharma
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What Matters Most summary
Diane Button
Lessons the Dying Teach Us About Living
19 mins
Brief summary
What Matters Most guides us through the journey of identifying and prioritizing our true values, helping to align our actions with what genuinely fulfills us. It offers practical steps to live a meaningful life.
Table of Contents
What Matters Most
Summary of 6 key ideas
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Key idea 1 of 6
Becoming a death doula
At the age of 84, Button’s beloved grandfather became ill. He had lung cancer, and it wasn’t long before the disease metastasized into his brain. But although the last weeks of his life were heartbreaking to witness, there were also moments of joy.
Just a few nights before he died, the family gathered for dinner. Button’s grandfather enjoyed his favorite meal – lamb chops with mint jelly, followed by strawberry shortcake.
At one point, he paused and leaned forward, as though he were about to say something important. Then he said slowly, “When I die…I’ll really miss…mint jelly.” Everyone chuckled. And when Button’s grandfather passed away a few days later, he had a smile on his face.
As Button gazed at him, she had a sudden realization. She wanted to know more about her grandfather. She wanted to understand what had brought him such fulfilment in life, allowing him to die in peace. This is where her journey began.
In order to learn more about the process of dying, Button decided to do a master’s degree in counseling psychology. And as she worked on her thesis, doing research on what makes a meaningful life, things started to click. She focused on people aged 75 or older who felt that they’d had fulfilling lives, and were ready to die in peace.
From her research, Button learned what matters most in life – love, relationships, kindness. Religious faith or spiritual beliefs can help too, allowing people to prepare peacefully for the end of their life.
At last, Button was starting to understand why her grandfather died with a smile. Emotionally, he was free. Spiritually, he was at peace. He was able to die unburdened.
Button later worked as a hospice volunteer, and then trained as a “death doula,” or an end-of-life worker. Essentially, this involves supporting people in their final weeks or days. People often assume Button’s work is sad or difficult, but actually, she finds it uplifting, or even joyful. It’s a privilege to be invited to the bedside of someone who’s dying.
Through her work, she’s seen the shift that takes place at the end of life. When someone is facing death, priorities change, and they realize that there’s no time to waste. They want to focus on what really matters – things like love, meaning, and forgiveness.
In the following sections, we’ll explore the stories of some of Button’s clients, and see what we can learn. In order to die well, we need to live well. The preparation starts now.
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What is What Matters Most about?
What Matters Most (2025) is a guide to living from an end-of-life doula. Through her work with the dying, Diane Button has learned what matters most in life, and how we can prepare for a good death by living well.
Who should read What Matters Most?
- People facing the prospect of the death of a loved one
- Those who want to know what makes a “good death”
- Anyone looking for advice on how to live a more fulfilling life
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