What is the main message of Unscrewed?

In Unscrewed, Jaclyn Friedman explores how society's attitudes towards sex and consent can be transformed to create a more equitable world.

Who is the author of Unscrewed?

Jaclyn Friedman is the author of Unscrewed.

Society & Culture

Unscrewed Book Summary - Unscrewed Book explained in key points

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Unscrewed summary

Name: Unscrewed
Rating: 3.7 (30 reviews)
Author: Jaclyn Friedman

Jaclyn Friedman

Women, Sex, Power, and How to Stop Letting the System Screw Us All

3.7 (30 ratings)

17 mins

Brief summary

'Unscrewed' by Jaclyn Friedman is a feminist manifesto that uncovers how our culture's attitudes towards sexuality shape our lives. She challenges us to break free from the shame and stigma surrounding sex and embrace pleasure and consent instead.

Topics

Simplify Podcast Gender & Sexuality

Table of Contents

Unscrewed
Summary of 7 key ideas

Audio & text in the Blinkist app

Key idea 1 of 7

What’s in it for me? Join the fight to replace the toxic male-dominated society with gender equality.

The #metoo movement has received a lot of media attention, and many people hope that it will lead to real change. But this isn’t the only movement that’s currently fighting for an end to the patriarchal system that has been sexualizing and dehumanizing women for centuries.

As you’ll come to find in these blinks, the fight for reproductive rights and gender equality has been a long, uphill battle and it’s one that can’t be won without changing the system from deep within. It’s a matter of teaching young men right from wrong at an early age; of giving women unfettered access to healthcare; of changing the way we represent women in our media; and of keeping religion out of our public policies.

It might seem like a massive undertaking, but it’s one that has been delayed for far too long. So it’s time to change the way society views female sexuality, and these blinks aren’t a bad way to start.

In these blinks, you’ll learn

how Fifty Shades of Grey and the Spice Girls fail to empower;
how pick-up artists contribute to male toxicity; and
where the religious right got their start.

Our patriarchal society leads to discrimination and violence, especially toward minority women.

Let’s not fool ourselves into thinking otherwise: We still live in a society that routinely demeans women and robs them of their right to control their bodies. And when women are sexually assaulted or attacked, it’s all too common for them to be blamed by authorities and the public.

While these things can happen to any women in America, there is an especially troubling history of mistreatment and dehumanization of women from minority groups. They continue to be the most vulnerable to violence.

Native American women, in particular, have a long history of being characterized as inhuman savages, even by certain church leaders. It’s likely a significant reason why this group has experienced the highest rate of rape in the United States, with 49 percent having suffered instances of sexual violence.

Likewise, the number of transgender women being attacked and murdered is outrageous. Many cities and states force them to use men’s public restrooms, which leaves them unnecessarily vulnerable to potentially deadly violence.

At the heart of this violence lies the way society views these people. When we see them as different from other human beings, our empathy for them decreases and we are able to treat them differently than we would expect to be treated ourselves.

Black women are another group with a long history of dehumanization. For centuries following America’s foundation on chattel slavery, black women were treated more as animals than humans, as if they needed taming by the white man. This disturbing perception has been used to justify countless crimes of rape and abuse, even until our present day, where black women suffer disproportionate injustice.

This injustice can also be seen in current statistics from the United States showing how young black women with a history of sexual abuse are far more likely to be in prison as a result of the abuse they’ve endured than white women with a similar background. Even though only 14 percent of all girls in the United States are black, in juvenile prisons, 33% of the girls are.

As we’ll see in the blinks ahead, women of all races and backgrounds are being subjected to inequality, injustice and limitations to their freedom and liberty.

Fake empowerment is keeping women from truly achieving power.

It’s easy to think we’ve made great strides in women’s liberation. After all, there have been times when women couldn’t vote in the United States, were treated as outcasts if they had pre-marital sex, or faced charges if they tried to obtain birth control pills without being married. But there are still numerous ways in which women are being oppressed.

One of the biggest trends these days is what the author calls fauxpowerment, which is the popular yet phony idea that modern women are completely free and liberated.

We need to stop sexualizing women in the media and shaming those who express their sexuality.

In a perfect world, every woman would be comfortable with her sexuality while feeling free to enjoy it and explore it. But unfortunately, that is far from the case, as female sexuality is continually co-opted by men and used to make women less human.

The media, in particular, uses female sexuality to present women purely as objects of male sexual desire, rather than human beings with their own emotional lives.

Women should be free to pursue their sexuality instead of adhering to the male ideal.

Traditionally, sex was perceived as something that only men actively sought out, with women going along with it but not seeking it for their own enjoyment. Only relatively recently have women understood that they’ve got just as much right to play for their own benefit.

Society has generally regarded sex as a commodity, something that men hope to buy from women at as low a price as possible. This is the angle that many popular male pick-up artists have promoted, showing men how to get laid with as little effort and money as possible. For them, a successful date would be one that didn’t even involve paying for a drink. In this macho mentality, no thought is ever given to whether a woman should receive any pleasure from the date or not.

Right-wing Christians in the United States have attained too much control over reproductive rights.

A common question on the minds of many American women today is, “How did we end up in this mess?” At the top of their concerns is how the Religious Right, a group of ultra-right-wing Republican Christians, gained so much political power that they’ve become the ones deciding what a woman can and can’t do with her body?

The modern movement can be traced back to 1976 when the Christian conservative Bob Jones University lost its federal tax-exempt status because it wouldn’t allow interracial dating on campus. The evangelical community was immediately outraged by this and began to rally support against government interference. But as they built up some political momentum, they eventually shifted their focus from defending racist policies to condemning abortion.

The fight for reproductive justice is far-reaching.

One of the most important steps in achieving gender equality is for women to gain control over their bodies and win back their lives and liberty from male oppression.

The name of the reproductive justice movement was co-coined by Loretta Ross, a feminist activist with a long track record of fighting for women’s issues. As the name suggests, Ross’s cause is primarily about winning the right to decide what happens to her body, but it also takes into account the many considerations that influence decisions about starting a family and other factors that affect women’s bodies. This includes access to healthcare and the economic circumstances in which a woman might live.

Improvements to sex education can lead to healthier sex lives and less toxic masculinity.

Students in US public schools are supposed to be taught a wide range of subjects to prepare them for adulthood. Yet somehow, sex, one of the fundamentals of life, goes unmentioned, or worse, gets misrepresented.

In many states, sex education isn’t a mandatory course. But in states where it is, the class is often focused on teaching abstinence, which means students learn nothing about how to give or receive pleasure and the importance of this in a healthy sex life. So, right from the start, girls, in particular, are being set up to think that bad sex is something they have to endure. And by teaching abstinence over the use of contraceptives, schools are increasing the chances of underage pregnancy.

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What is Unscrewed about?

Unscrewed (2017) looks at the numerous obstacles that women face every day on their path to equality and respect. Author Jaclyn Friedman shows the way forward. She shines a light on those who are already hard at work dismantling these barriers and explains why even though the current system may be imbalanced, but we can build a new one.

Unscrewed Review

Unscrewed (2017) is an eye-opening exploration of how we can embrace and redefine sexuality in a world that often shames and objectifies it. Here's why we think this book is a must-read:

It offers deep insights into the intersection of sex, power, and culture, providing a fresh perspective on our society's deeply-rooted beliefs and attitudes.
The book celebrates sexual autonomy and empowers readers to embrace their desires, encouraging open and honest conversations about consent, pleasure, and agency.
Through empowering stories and thought-provoking analysis, it challenges societal norms and encourages readers to actively participate in creating a more inclusive and sex-positive future.

Best quote from Unscrewed

The most dominant model of sexuality in the United States treats sex as a commodity in which women give it up and men get some.

—Jaclyn Friedman

Who should read Unscrewed?

Women and men interested in sexual politics
Sociology students
Readers who want to be better sex educators

About the Author

Jaclyn Friedman is a writer, speaker, feminist and women’s pleasure activist. Her bestselling book, Yes Means Yes: Visions of Female Sexual Power and a World Without Rape, was a major contributor to the “yes means yes” standard of sexual consent, which is currently used on many US college campuses.

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