Love Unfu*ked Buchzusammenfassung - das Wichtigste aus Love Unfu*ked

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Zusammenfassung von Love Unfu*ked

Name: Love Unfu*ked
Rating: 4.3 (73 reviews)
Author: Gary John Bishop

Gary John Bishop

Getting Your Relationship Sh!t Together

4.3 (73 Bewertungen)

14 Min.

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Ehe Persönlichkeit Dating Routinen & Gewohnheiten Liebe

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Love Unfu*ked
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What’s in it for me? Stop wasting your life by doing relationships the wrong way.

If you haven’t already spent decades of your life fantasizing about the perfect relationship, you’ve probably had it shoved in your face by the media.

Here’s the thing. You have no idea what it takes to have a relationship like that. Sure, you can talk about what you want – the passion, the romance, the perfect mutual understanding – but your efforts toward getting it probably don’t go beyond putting yourself out there and hoping for the best.

Then, when you think you’ve found it, you’re surprised when this beautiful thing starts to lose its shine after six months or so.

You’re actually horribly ill-equipped to find and maintain anything resembling your perfect relationship. But don’t worry, so are most people.

Welcome to our Blink to Love Unfu*ked by Gary John Bishop. This isn’t a guide to communication, forgiveness, or mending a broken heart. And you’re not going to learn how to fix your irritating partner or win your arguments, either.

Instead, you’re going to take a long hard look at yourself and then do the work – the hard work – that you need to do to reinvent your current or future relationships.

So, if you’re ready for that, let’s get started.

Be honest with yourself

What do you do when your bike’s tire is slightly flat? You probably pump it back up, then forget about it. At least until next week when it’s slightly flat again. Maybe you don’t have the time to fix the leak, or the money to replace it, and it’s not that bad, right? It’s still doing its job as a tire, most of the time. So you pump it up, ride around for another week or so, then pump it up again.

For a lot of people, this tire is their relationship. Whether you’re stuck in an anxiety-inducing marriage or convincing yourself that you’re happy being alone, you’re filling and refilling that same leaky relationship tire, in one way or another.

Eventually, it just becomes a way of life; part of the routine. Fill the tire. Ignore the problems. Swallow your misery for another night. Soon you’ve forgotten what it’s like to even have a perfectly functioning bike – or a satisfying relationship. But the thing is, not falling apart isn’t the same as working properly. You’re going to have to face this truth if you’re going to reinvent your relationship. It’s time to fix that tire.

You can start by taking a good look at your current relationship and what you bring to it.

What’s it based around? Maybe you wanted what your parents had, or the opposite of that. Or maybe you’re holding it up to some standard; that perfect relationship we talked about earlier.

In other words, you’ve been thinking in terms of how things should or shouldn’t be. And you’ve been expecting your partner to fit into that role – to complete that missing part of you.

But that’s not their problem if they don’t; that’s yours. Your view that a relationship should be a certain way may be the very thing keeping you from having love.

Because at the end of the day, the only thing you can control is yourself: how you act and react, and your perspectives and expectations. That’s all on you.

Try to see yourself for who you are – your moods, your jealousies, your irritating habits. It’s your responsibility to manage that person because that’s all you can do.

So make an agreement with yourself, right now. Ask yourself whether you’re willing to persistently monitor and stay on top of all your destructive habits. If your answer is yes, then you might still have a chance.

But what about your partner and their destructive habits? Well, what about them? You can’t control them and you shouldn’t expect to. This is about you, and what you do and don’t do.

Say it like you mean it

Trust. A pretty important foundation of any relationship, wouldn’t you say? But what does it even mean to trust someone?

Basically, you’re agreeing that the other person will be consistent in their words and their actions. That you won’t be unpleasantly surprised by what they do because it’s in line with what they’ve said or done before.

Live your relationship values

What are your values? The things that are truly important to you? Ditch your boring auto-responses, like “faith or “family.” Can you honestly say that those values are ever-present in your daily life, guiding your every move?

It’s doubtful. Dig deeper. Think about things that make you do what you do, your internal compass which dictates right from wrong, good from bad. Still nothing?

Dance by yourself

Picture two ballroom dancers gracefully gliding and swaying across a stage. They might seem like two people coming together to create one beautiful performance – and that’s kind of true. But in another sense, they’re actually dancing alone. They’re focusing on their own moves, making sure they dip at the right time. Even if your partner stumbles, you can only ever control your own performance.

Let’s use this same language to talk about relationships. It’s not a battle to win. It’s a dance – and you’re dancing alone. That doesn’t mean it’s easy, or you can ignore the other person but this is an essential part of any good relationship.

Learn to break up

What’s the first thing you do when you get on a plane? After you’ve awkwardly shoved your bag into the overhead compartment and squeezed into your seat, that is.

You sit patiently while two flight attendants carefully explain what you are supposed to do if the engines fail and you find yourself plummeting toward the ground. You’re probably not going to crash, but it’s still good to know.

Final Summary

You’re in charge of your relationship. The good, the bad; all of it. So start acting like it.

Take ownership and then fully acknowledge and address your own damaging contributions. Learn to live with the things you can’t control. Let your words mean something, and then actually do what you say.

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Worum geht es in Love Unfu*ked?

Love Unfu*ked (2022) is a no-nonsense, in-your-face guide to identifying and fixing the one thing that’s stopping you from having a meaningful and fulfilling relationship: you. By accepting hard facts about yourself and your habits, you can begin making the changes necessary to be the best version of yourself and stop being the problem that you don’t even know you are.

Wer Love Unfu*ked lesen sollte

The married or committed who’ve grown miserable in their relationships
Perpetual daters who are wondering why things never work out
Anyone looking for a more meaningful and satisfying relationship

Über den Autor

Gary John Bishop is a personal developmental expert with a focus on tough love and cutting through people's own self-sabotaging behaviors. He’s helped thousands of people get their lives together with his other best-selling books, including Unf*ck Yourself and Stop Doing That Sh*t.

Kategorien mit Love Unfu*ked

Liebe & Sex Persönliche Entwicklung Kommunikation & Soft Skills

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