The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands summary

Understanding Men’s Needs

In The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands, Laura Schlessinger seeks to unravel the mysteries of male needs and desires. Schlessinger suggests that men have simple emotional needs, craving respect and appreciation from their wives. She asserts that when women neglect these needs, marital discord can ensue.

The book commences with the premise that men are straightforward creatures driven by few basic desires. They seek admiration, desire physical intimacy, and want a loving home environment. Schlessinger chastises women who fail to provide these essentials, arguing that such neglect can be as harmful to a marriage as infidelity.

Challenging Feminist Presumptions

As the book progresses, Schlessinger contemplates the effects of modern feminism on marriage. She argues that women have been misled by feminist ideologies that devalue men’s contributions and foster marital dissatisfaction. Schlessinger challenges the notion that men and women must play equal roles in all household tasks, suggesting that attempting to promote precise equality may lead to neglect of male emotional needs.

The author emphasizes that women are not subservient or inferior but adds that respect for men’s desires and roles is essential. She implies that paying attention to a husband’s needs doesn't equate to weakness; instead, it results in harmony and appreciation.

Implementing Care and Feeding

Beyond identifying problems, Schlessinger offers practical advice on how to implement proper "care and feeding" of husbands. She contends that women should express respect and gratitude more often, abstain from nagging, and create a peaceful home. She also suggests that women should assume responsibility for the marital relationship, improving it through changes in their conduct and attitudes.

Schlessinger also explores the importance of intimacy. She asserts that physical intimacy is a crucial aspect of a man’s emotional needs. The author encourages women to understand the profound influence that sex has on men’s sense of happiness, well-being, and satisfaction within a marriage.

Creating a Harmonious Marriage

In the book's final section, Schlessinger focuses on explaining why the ‘care and feeding’ method works. Arguing that by cherishing their husband’s masculinity, women can nurture happier, more fulfilling marriages. She contends that a man who is cared for and fed well – emotionally and physically – will thrive and reciprocate in kind.

In conclusion, The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands is a guide for women who wish to strengthen their marriage by better understanding the emotional needs of their husbands. Schlessinger argues that women, by appreciating masculinity and attending to men's desires, can foster a harmonious marriage where both parties feel satisfied and valued.