The Highly Sensitive Person summary

Meet Rob and Rebecca. They’re twins – fraternal, not identical.

At age three, they become big brother and big sister, so a friendly couple comes to care for the twins for a few days before the new baby comes home.

When Rob walks into his parents’ room and finds strangers, he’s so terrified, he screams. Rebecca walks in, says hi, and off she goes, smiling.

Rob’s neither shy nor anxious. He just sees, smells, and hears things Rebecca isn’t equipped to absorb.

He’s inherited a highly sensitive nervous system. As he grows, he’ll forget most of what’s happened in his childhood – but his body and subconscious will always remember.

He’ll spend more time processing events. His dreams will be vivid and will have a lot to do with what’s happening in the real world. His dreams might even predict future events with astonishing accuracy.

If that sounds like you, you’re among the 20 percent of people with Rob’s superpower.

What Rob experienced when he saw strangers in his parents’ bed wasn’t necessarily fear. It was information overload. He was just overstimulated.

Highly sensitive people, or HSPs, will complain about the volume of music at a bar. They’ll catch the hint of a frown that says a colleague’s wife hates Christmas parties. They can judge the character of a florist by looking at how she arranges flowers. 

These subtle clues can come with great benefits. If you’re an HSP, they can help you enjoy the wholesome sensory experiences of laughter, music, work, and sex.

What you need to look out for is balance. Each person has an optimal arousal level. Get above this threshold and you can experience discomfort, and, in extreme cases, paralysis or panic.

Of course, everyone has a sensory threshold. The difference here is that the highly sensitive have lower thresholds and might not be able to stand honking cars or large crowds. Some might not even be able to take small groups for very long.

It’s all about exposure and intensity. Beyond that red line, HSPs need to recharge.