He Comes Next summary

It's not just the gazillion nerve-endings located in the pelvic area that can make a man protective of what's going on below the waist. His sexual response, or arousal, can also be a highly-fraught subject. Some men carry anxieties that can be traced all the way back to his teenage years, when embarrassing erections could occur at the most unwanted of times.

Unfortunately, these male anxieties and difficulties with sex are perpetuated by the intercourse-discourse, which is the misguided idea that sex is all about the penis and penetration. And where do we see this idea of sex displayed most distinctly? Porn of course!

Generally speaking, all relationships go through three stages: lust, romantic love, and attachment.

The first two stages are fueled by key biochemicals like dopamine and norepinephrine, the natural hormones in the body that significantly contribute to arousal. The third stage of attachment is still fueled by biochemicals, but these help promote feelings of comfort between the couple.

Everyone has sexual fantasies from time to time, right? Nevertheless, according to numerous studies and the author’s own clinical experience, many are ashamed of their sexual fantasies and tend to repress them as a result.

This is unfortunate since there are also studies that show how beneficial a healthy sexual imagination can be.

When the author is counseling men who complain about being sexually bored, they’ll often say that their relationship is missing an emotional connection.

If this sounds familiar, don’t give up hope yet. By committing yourself to bringing intimacy back into your daily lives, it’s entirely possible to restore the emotional connection in your relationship.

Women aren’t the only ones who experience different levels of orgasm. Men can also achieve what’s known as a “local” orgasm, which is focused solely on the penis, or an expansive “global” orgasm, which accompanies a full-bodied response.

In other words, a man can come, or he can come really hard. But for this to happen you need to expand away from just stimulating the penis and embrace a more holistic, or global, approach to sex.

It’s logical to think that a man will likely know how to pleasure himself, right? But you might be wondering, what goes on during male masturbation?

The first stage is known as filling, which gets the blood flowing with non-rhythmic stimulation. This is followed by rhythmic stroking, which increases in pace and intensity until the plateau phase is reached. This is followed by the stage known as ejaculatory inevitability, which is basically the point of no return.

The secret to giving a man a mind-blowing orgasm is to build and expand sexual tension throughout his body. And this means keeping him in the plateau phase, where his mind and body are on the edge of total surrender, for as long a time as possible.

So, to build up that tension, use your hands to increase the pace of rhythmic stroking while decreasing the periods of non-rhythmic stimulation. This is best done with a simple “grasp and clasp” technique, which alternates between long, firm strokes and short ones that are focused on the frenulum, that part directly under the glans.