When Things Fall Apart summary

Loneliness, like fear, is also something we take great pains to avoid. And yet, solitude provides us with some of the best opportunities to relax, recuperate and recenter.

Every day, we juggle our work lives and social engagements, doing our best to improve ourselves and constantly aiming to achieve bigger and better things. But not many of us recognize that there’s an alternative to this high-speed, high-stress lifestyle.

What is it that keeps us going when times get tough? Many of us think hope is what helps us cope with adversity, but the reality is that hope can make us fearful and anxious about the future, or lead us to disappointment.

The Tibetan language captures the relationship between hope and fear especially accurately. In Tibetan, the word for hope is rewa, while fear translates as dopka. The word re-dok refers to the combination of hope and fear, a feeling whose duality captures our perpetual dissatisfaction with ourselves.

Why do we exist? That’s a question humans have been grappling with for centuries. While these blinks can't offer a definitive answer, we will explore three truths of existence to deepen our understanding of our time on this planet. These truths are impermanence, suffering and egolessness, and getting to know these three can also make challenges in life seem a lot more bearable.

First, impermanence is the essence of life. Frightening as this may seem, it’s in our best interests to celebrate impermanence, and we can do so by recognizing it during times of new beginnings. When someone is born, when you fall in love with someone new or even when you start the day full of energy, by embracing the idea that these beginnings come with their own unique endings, you’ll become more mindful of impermanence and the way it shapes our lives.

Spending time working on yourself can feel a little strange at first – perhaps even a bit egocentric! But, ultimately, it can help you become a more compassionate person.

Compassion doesn’t just involve connecting with those less fortunate than us, but also with everyone around us and ourselves. Practicing compassion toward others can make you more accepting of yourself at the same time.

The lessons we’ve learned in these blinks can easily be applied to everyday life. And yet, when a lover leaves us or a boss begins to shout us down, it’s harder to put these techniques into practice. To stay on track, there are three ancient strategies you can use.

The first is called no more struggle. This is the practice of using meditation to recenter yourself at times when you feel powerless. Rather than struggling with your thoughts, embrace them and investigate them to find out more. What scares you most? What do you find repulsive? Observe yourself to find the answers to these tough questions.