Getting The Love You Want summary

Have you ever witnessed how, after just a few months, new couples start to argue? The reason this tension builds and breaks is that partners start to notice traits that they had previously glossed over.

One trait that often comes into focus is that a partner resembles a parent.

With divorce rates consistently high, the wedding vow of “until death do us part” clearly isn’t taken seriously. Though you may not realize it, by not fully committing to a relationship, you are essentially keeping an escape route open so you can leave it.

In fact, people are constantly looking for ways out of relationships, if only temporarily. When partners engage in activities separately, they give up the opportunity to spend time together and strengthen the relationship.

It’s easy to forget that “random acts of kindness” can be beneficial for people close to us just as much as for random strangers. Too often the little things we do for loved ones come with strings attached. We cook a meal out of duty or do the shopping out of guilt for some transgression.

For a marriage to be successful, however, we need to give gifts unconditionally.

How do you find out what your partner wants? By listening to your partner, of course!

But some ways of listening are better than others. Follow these three simple steps to improve communication in your relationship.

Getting angry from time to time is an inevitable part of life. However, when anger turns to rage it can be hurtful to a partner and harmful to a relationship.

One way to avoid this is to use container transactions, which help you harmlessly express anger.

Would you be willing to change your personality to suit your partner better? Most people would answer with a resounding “no.” We like to think of ourselves as unique, and anyone who wants to “change” us clearly isn’t someone who should stick around.

However, to succeed as a couple, a partnership needs to address weaknesses. In fact, it’s the best thing that you can do for a relationship.