Attached summary

If you have ever been in a relationship, then you know that, from time to time, our partners drive us crazy! Yet, in spite of this, we still love them and long for that love to be requited.

But why? Where does attachment come from?

As you’ve learned, we all have a strong need for attachment. However, we don’t all experience these attachments in the same way: we differ in our attitudes toward relationships and how we think they should function.

These differences help us categorize the different types of people whose attachment style predicts their behavior in romantic situations. Let’s start with the first: an anxious attachment style.

Imagine being in a relationship in which you feel totally confined: your partner seems too needy, and you can’t understand why it’s so important to completely depend on any one person.

Does this sound familiar to you? If so, then you probably have an avoidant attachment style.

When it comes to relationships, most of us don’t want to settle: we want to find that perfect partner,  the person who gives us space when we feel confined and cuddles up next to us when we feel lonely.

Believe it or not, this type of person isn’t just the stuff of fairytales! These people are real, and they exhibit a secure attachment style.

No two relationships are ever the same. Each comes with its own strengths and weaknesses. So what can you do to guarantee happiness in your relationship?

The answer is simple, whatever your attachment style: effective communication. Indeed, directly expressing your needs and concerns will make it much easier to figure out whether your potential partner is right for you.

Unfortunately, conflict is part of any relationship. But would you have thought that fighting with your partner can actually make you happier?

For a happy relationship, it’s not so important how much you disagree with your partner, but how you do it.

Think back on all those romantic Hollywood films you’ve seen. It’s always the same story: the boy gets the girl and they live happily ever after, no matter how different their needs are. The message is clear: “true love” has the power to make any relationship work.

But this simply isn’t so.