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Name: The Practice of Groundedness
Rating: 4.6 (696 reviews)
Author: Brad Stulberg

Brad Stulberg

A Transformative Path to Success That Feeds – Not Crushes – Your Soul

4.6 (696 ratings)

23 mins

Brief summary

The Practice of Groundedness by Brad Stulberg explores the importance of maintaining perspective in times of uncertainty and change. It provides actionable advice on how to cultivate a sense of calm and stability in our lives.

Topics

Meaningful Living Success Wisdom Self-Help Healthy Living Goals

Table of Contents

The Practice of Groundedness
Summary of 7 key ideas

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Key idea 1 of 7

What’s in it for me? Learn how to ground yourself for a life of happiness and sustainable success.

October 2017. The author, Brad Stulberg, was in the middle of a long-distance drive. He was just sitting there, minding his own business when suddenly, an unprovoked thought hit him like a brick dropping from the sky. “You should just drive off the road and end it all right now,” it said. “Your family will be fine without you.”

Deep down, he knew he didn’t really believe that thought. But he couldn’t shake it. What followed were four of the hardest hours of his life. And it wasn’t the first or last time he’d suffer an experience like this. Highly distressing, intrusive thoughts and feelings had become normal occurrences for him.

This is the story of what he went through, how he got out of it, and the lessons he learned along the way.

In these blinks, you’ll learn

why many of us are suffering from a way of thinking called heroic individualism;
why the alternative is to cultivate something called groundedness; and
why human beings have a lot to learn from redwood trees.

Heroic individualism leads to burnout and unhappiness.

A few years ago, Stulberg’s life seemed right on track. He was only 31, but already establishing himself as a well-respected expert on the science of human performance. He’d recently published a best-selling book on the topic. His articles had appeared in the New York Times and the Wall Street Journal. He was coaching elite athletes, entrepreneurs, and executives.

But beneath the shiny surface of his external success, something dark was happening inside him. Seemingly out of nowhere, he developed a debilitating form of obsessive-compulsive disorder, or OCD. For nearly a year, he was almost constantly tormented by intrusive thoughts and feelings of despair, anxiety, and self-harm.

The experience shook him to his core, and it led him to rethink the way of life he’d been practicing and preaching – a way of life he now calls heroic individualism.

The key message here is: Heroic individualism leads to burnout and unhappiness.

Do you feel like whoever you are and whatever you do, it’s never enough? Are you always measuring yourself and your achievements against impossibly high standards and fixating on the inevitable gap between them? Are you always pushing yourself to bridge that gap? And do you feel like however far you go, you’ve never arrived at the finish line – which makes you want to push yourself even harder?

If so, you may be suffering from heroic individualism – a way of thinking that’s become widespread in Western culture. It tells people that whoever they are and whatever they do, it’s never enough. Everyone always needs to be more productive, more optimized, more successful.

Under the spell of heroic individualism, people feel compelled to tackle too many tasks at too fast a pace, under way too much pressure. As a result, they feel scattered, rushed, and exhausted. And because they’re so fixated on their external accomplishments, they can’t even properly rest; they feel empty or restless whenever they’re not pursuing them.

The predictable result? Persistent feelings of burnout and unhappiness. For many people, this creates general dissatisfaction with life. For others, it can provoke serious mental health problems, like the ones Stulberg experienced. Either way, heroic individualism leads to a dead end.

So, how do you escape? That’s what Stulberg asked himself after his struggle with OCD – and he found the answer in an unlikely place.

The antidote to heroic individualism is to focus on your roots – the principles and practices that keep you grounded.

On a cool, breezy day in northern California, Stulberg went on a hike in a forest. Looking up at the massive redwood trees surrounding him, he had an epiphany.

What enables a redwood to soar hundreds of feet into the air while getting buffeted by strong, sometimes violent winds? It’s not the tree’s canopy constantly striving to grow higher and higher. It’s the roots keeping it firmly anchored to the ground.

Accept your present reality the way it is, so you can work on changing it into the future you desire.

When Stulberg began his struggle with OCD, his initial reactions were denial and wishful thinking. He told himself his intrusive thoughts and feelings were “just” in his mind – they weren’t real. Or maybe they were just the symptoms of a weird physical illness that would eventually pass.

When that didn’t happen, he switched gears from denial to resistance, trying to force his thoughts and feelings to go away. He figured that if anyone could will himself out of a mental problem, surely it was him – an expert on mental performance.

To be grounded in what matters to you and grow things to fruition, stay present and be patient.

Accepting his OCD was the crucial first step on Stulberg’s road to recovery, but it was also just that: the first step. The path ahead was long and difficult. There was no overnight cure. In fact, strictly speaking, there was no cure at all. Rather than getting rid of his OCD, he had to learn how to deal with it in a healthy manner, and that meant many months of therapy and work on himself.

The details vary, but the same general lesson applies to everyone’s life. When it comes to the biggest problems and goals, the path to success and happiness is rarely short and easy. To stay on that path and keep making progress, you have to maintain focus and stick around for the long haul, which is what the next two principles of groundedness are about.

To achieve real strength, embrace vulnerability.

A few years ago, Stulberg received an email from a young man. He wanted to ask a question that would normally seem rather flattering: How had Stulberg achieved such an accomplished and fulfilling life by his early 30s?

Little did the man know that on that very day, Stulberg was struggling with especially acute symptoms of OCD. He was being tormented by thoughts and feelings of his life being meaningless. The email made him feel like a fraud. On the outside, he was presenting himself as a strong, successful person – an expert on performance, no less. But on the inside, he was falling apart, hardly performing at all.

To ensure you’re fully grounded, surround yourself with a supportive community.

After Stulberg published his essay, he was flooded with hundreds of emails from readers. They wanted to thank him for opening up about his struggle. They also wanted to share their own mental health issues. Suddenly, he felt much less alone.

That’s a powerful feeling – and there’s a reason for that. Remember those redwood trees? Stulberg learned something else about them after that epiphany he had while hiking. The reason they’re so firmly anchored to the ground isn’t that their roots are especially deep. In fact, they only descend six to twelve feet into the soil.

To keep your mind grounded, keep your body moving.

Among the many people who contacted Stulberg after he published his essay was a 32-year old woman named Andrea Barber. If you’re a similar age, you might know her better as Kimmy Gibbler – the character she played on the sitcom Full House back in the late ’80s and early ’90s.

Her life hadn’t gone smoothly after her time as a child star on a hit TV show. For years, she’d struggled with depression and anxiety. Like Stulberg she eventually found help in many forms, including therapy and medication. But there was one thing that helped her more than anything else – and it was also the thing she was most eager to share with Stulberg.

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What is The Practice of Groundedness about?

The Practice of Groundedness (2021) provides some counterbalance to all those self-help books that extol us to never stop optimizing ourselves, becoming more productive, and pushing ourselves toward more success. Drawing from both ancient wisdom and modern science, it identifies six principles of a more grounded way of living. It also tells the personal story of how the author came to understand these principles while struggling to overcome mental health issues.

The Practice of Groundedness Review

The Practice of Groundedness (2020) is a book that offers valuable insights on how to cultivate groundedness in our fast-paced lives. Here's why you should read it:

Through practical exercises and relatable stories, it provides a roadmap to finding balance and stability amidst the chaos of modern life.
With its emphasis on self-reflection and mindfulness practices, the book offers a refreshing perspective on personal growth and well-being.
By exploring the importance of groundedness in various areas of life, from work to relationships, it offers a holistic approach to living a more meaningful and fulfilling life.

Who should read The Practice of Groundedness?

Highly-driven people feeling burnt out, scattered, or restless
Professionals looking for a more sustainable approach to success
Anyone who wants to be more grounded

About the Author

Brad Stulberg is an expert on human performance, sustainable success, and well-being. He’s the coauthor of the best-selling Peak Performance and The Passion Paradox. His articles have appeared in the New York Times, the Wall Street Journal, Wired, and Forbes. He’s also a contributing editor to Outside Magazine. He coaches executives, entrepreneurs, and elite athletes.

Categories with The Practice of Groundedness

Personal Development Mindfulness & Happiness

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