The Couple's Guide to Thriving with ADHD Book Summary - The Couple's Guide to Thriving with ADHD Book explained in key points
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The Couple's Guide to Thriving with ADHD summary

Melissa Orlov & Nancie Kohlenberger

Improve Trust, Intimacy, and Reliability

4.3 (24 ratings)
20 mins

Brief summary

The Couple's Guide to Thriving with ADHD is a comprehensive book that offers practical strategies and advice for couples navigating the challenges of ADHD together. It provides insights, tools, and support to help build a strong and thriving relationship.

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    The Couple's Guide to Thriving with ADHD
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    ADHD is a challenge in relationships, but it can be managed

    Navigating a relationship when one partner has ADHD is like trying to solve a complex puzzle. ADHD brings a unique set of challenges that can sometimes make relationships feel like they're on shaky ground.

    ADHD isn't just about getting easily distracted or being forgetful. It's a whirlwind of traits, ranging from impulsivity to inattention. Imagine being deeply engrossed in a conversation and your partner seems lost, their thoughts wandering elsewhere. This can lead to feelings of being overlooked or undervalued, creating tension and misunderstandings.

    Impulsivity is about those spontaneous, out-of-the-blue decisions that sometimes backfire. While spontaneity can be refreshing, and enliven a relationship, the unpredictability can also be overwhelming, especially when there are unexpected consequences.

    Forgetfulness is another piece of the puzzle. Everyone forgets things once in a while, but with ADHD, it's more frequent. Missed anniversaries, broken promises, or just the occasional lapse can make non-ADHD partners feel frustrated with their significant other’s unreliability.

    Organizing daily routines, keeping up with time, or just being punctual can also be challenging. It's like the hands of the clock move a bit faster for those with ADHD, and often, their partners have the sense that they have to make up for the lost time. That can be exhausting.

    Emotionally, it's a roller coaster ride. Mood swings can make the relationship feel like a delicate dance where you’re constantly trying not to step on the other's toes.

    Then there's hyperfocus – a person’s tendency to become so immersed in a task that the world around them fades away. While often personally fulfilling, it can make non-ADHD partners feel left in the shadows, eclipsed by whatever has caught their loved one's attention.

    Communication is the glue that holds relationships together, but ADHD can make it sticky. Whether it's interrupting conversations, struggling to express thoughts clearly, or just not being an attentive listener, it paves the way for more misunderstandings.

    Yet, amidst these challenges, it's important to remember that ADHD also brings a vibrant palette of strengths like creativity, boundless energy, and spontaneity. Harnessing these can add color and zest to relationships. Working together is key. Understanding, patience, and crafting strategies to manage ADHD symptoms can create a harmonious bond. That, in a nutshell, is what we’ll be looking at in this Blink.

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    What is The Couple's Guide to Thriving with ADHD about?

    The Couple’s Guide to Thriving with ADHD (2014) delves into the challenges many couples face when one or both partners have undiagnosed adult ADHD. An essential guide for couples seeking to strengthen their bond and navigate the complexities of ADHD in their relationships, it emphasizes the importance of understanding ADHD symptoms and offers strategies to enhance communication, trust, and intimacy.

    Who should read The Couple's Guide to Thriving with ADHD?

    • Couples seeking insight into how ADHD affects their relationship dynamics
    • Individuals diagnosed with adult ADHD aiming to improve their romantic partnerships
    • Counselors who want to expand their understanding of ADHD in intimate relationships

    About the Author

    Melissa Orlov, the brain behind, is a renowned authority on the interplay between ADHD and adult relationships. She's penned two acclaimed books, The ADHD Effect on Marriage and The Couple's Guide to Thriving with ADHD.

    Nancie Kohlenberger is a seasoned professional from Orlov’s psychotherapy practice. With over 15 years in the field and personal experience with ADHD, Kohlenberger brings an invaluable perspective to their collaborative work.

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