The All-or-Nothing Marriage summary

Many people assume that marriage is harmful to personal fulfillment and a strong individual identity.

But this isn’t the case. In fact, marriage and personal fulfillment can, and do, coexist.

Have you ever looked at your grandparents and thought, “Hmm, that’s odd, they don’t seem to like each other very much.” You may be onto something, but the thing is that, back then, marrying someone you were head over heels for wasn’t as big a deal as it is today.

Generations ago, a marriage was a way for two people to team up and give each other a better chance at making a living. There were many more families living on farms, growing their own food, making their own clothes and building their own homes. It was simply a far more difficult life – one that required a family of strong, healthy individuals.

A lot of today’s dating sites emphasize the importance of two people having the same tastes and hobbies, but this isn’t necessarily the most important thing for compatibility.

Real compatibility requires work on the part of both partners, and it comes down to supporting each other’s goals and having a willingness to sacrifice and make compromises.

If you’ve ever been in a relationship with a jealous partner, you know how unpleasant it can be. Even when you’re deeply committed to the relationship, they can still end up accusing you of being interested in other people.

More often than not, this is the result of your partner’s insecurity, and, fortunately, there’s a way around this issue.

How big of a priority is your relationship for you? If you’re not sure, try to count the days in the past few weeks on which you and your partner spent more than a couple of hours together. If these times are few and far between, you may need to give your relationship a bit more room in your life.

Studies show that making enough time for a marriage is key to making your relationship a happy and prosperous one.

If you’ve ever been left feeling empty, lost and depressed after a breakup, it’s likely due to a common mistake that people make: they let their identity become less about their individuality and more about their relationship.

Research shows us just how easy it is for couples to lose their individuality and merge their identity into an intense relationship.

How would you react if your partner of many years suddenly asked you about changing from a monogamous relationship to an open, non-monogamous one? Would you be hurt? Anxious? Excited?

Even if your initial reaction is a positive one, this is a decision that shouldn’t be made without a lot of thoughtful discussion.