Breaking Up With Sugar summary

Chances are, you’ve tried to take charge of your dependence on sugar. Maybe you’ve tried many times, only to fail repeatedly. That isn’t your fault, however – it’s the diets you’ve tried, which were set up for people who don’t have relationship problems with food. It’s like taking Advil for a case of strep throat.

So let’s look closely at your relationship with food, to try and understand it properly. The first step is an honest examination of your history with food. Write down every attempt you’ve ever made to get your relationship with food and weight under control – every doctor, diet, new workout, quick fix – and why it ended.

So you’re ready to kick your old relationship with sugar to the curb and start a new one. That’s great news! But you’ll need to change your habits first. To prepare yourself to do that, you need to set some ground rules by taking seven vows, which you’ll then stick to for the next 66 days. Now, 66 isn’t a random number. Research shows that it takes 66 days for something to become a habit. You don’t need to comply with all the vows all the time, but to reestablish a healthy relationship with food, you do need to try.

The key message here is: Taking seven vows at the start of your new relationship will set you up for success.

So you’ve taken your vows and committed to your new relationship with food and eating. Congratulations! The next 66 days will be a complete reset. There’s no expectation that you’ll live this way for the rest of your life, but if you can do it for 66 days, your relationship with food will be changed forever.

Your eating plan for this period consists of five major food groups: protein, carbohydrates, fat, fruit, and vegetables. Obviously, flour and sugar aren’t on the list, but let’s be realistic – you can’t expect yourself not to eat a single trace of either for the rest of your life. The author’s rule of thumb is that if sugar or flour comes fifth or later on a food’s ingredient list, you can eat it.

Most diets are about food, but breaking up with sugar is about ending a relationship. That means dealing with some big feelings, such as regret and fear, which are part of the grief you’ll naturally go through. 

You’ll likely experience the five stages of grief, too – denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Allow yourself to experience these. Accept the loss of the relationship, and take time to meditate on the change you’re experiencing. Rituals, such as burning sage in your home, can be a big help with this.

All this talk about grief is enough to make you forget that there’s an upside to all this: your new life! Sugar and flour may have caused you to believe that you’re weak and lazy, but the truth? You’re not. You have the strength to repair your self-esteem and remember what your values are. Ask yourself how you want to feel in your new life, what’s important to you, and what you want your relationship with food to be like.

Now, you might feel fabulous after your 66-day reset. But it’s important to remember that no one can be perfect all the time. Part of healthy self-esteem is forgiving yourself for slip-ups, which will happen. When you make a mistake, just take a deep, soothing breath, and go back to the 66-day eating plan for a while. Soon you’ll be right back on track.