How to Love summary

What do you think of when you hear the word “love”?

Many of us associate the concept with a particular kind of desirable partner – ideally a good-looking and successful one!

So now you know the key traits of true love. What else do you need to know?

Well, there are two other crucial elements to love – respect and trust.

Who has represented true love on the stage of world history? Most of us would name figures like Jesus, Gandhi, the Dalai Lama or Mother Theresa if we were asked to think of an example.

Spirituality and religion don’t enjoy the best reputation in our increasingly secular world. But when it comes to true love in practice, most of the names that spring to mind are those of deeply devout and spiritual men and women.

Intimacy and sex are often conflated. Euphemisms like “we were intimate” underscore this. But in reality, they’re different things altogether.

That’s because sex on its own can’t establish true intimacy.

Maintaining a loving relationship is hard. That’s a good reason not to make the whole business even trickier by settling down with a mate who doesn’t share your values and life goals.

A sense of shared aspirations is vital to cementing a healthy relationship.

Chances are that you’ll have encountered the concept of mindfulness in a hundred different settings. The idea has become hugely influential in the West, and we’re regularly confronted with advice on how to walk, eat and exercise in a mindful way.

So why not love mindfully too!

Wouldn’t it be nice if you had a wise little elf perched on your shoulder who could whisper the right words for every occasion directly into your ear?

As anyone who’s ever escalated a fight by accidentally choosing the wrong words knows, that’d be especially useful when it comes to resolving arguments!