The Daily Dad summary

Bruce Springsteen’s father didn’t say a lot to him during his childhood, nor did he express much affection. This left the singer thinking – even into his adulthood and successful music career – that maybe he hadn’t earned his father’s love. 

Springsteen eventually fell into a deep depression. He took to driving past his childhood house, dwelling on the thing he was never given – the thing he felt he needed to fix. All the fame and success in the world couldn’t replace the unexpressed love of a father.

King George VI had an obligation and tradition. Every Tuesday at exactly 5:30 p.m., he would meet with his Prime Minister, Winston Churchill, and discuss national affairs. When his daughter, Queen Elizabeth II, took power in 1952, she promptly rescheduled this important weekly meeting to 6:30 p.m. You see, she had two young children – and she couldn’t miss bathtime.

No matter who you are, parenting is all about tradeoffs and sacrifices. You can throw all your effort into working to have enough money for your family, but this is going to cut into your own time to mentally recharge – and the quality time you could be spending with your kids. Likewise, focusing on just your family or leisure time can leave you without the money to fully support your endeavors.

We’re constantly presented with things we have to deal with: tasks to do, people to please, children to raise. Life can be hard and stressful, but we always have a choice in how we deal with it. When things go wrong, do we lash out in anger – or take a deep breath and approach the problem constructively?

We always tell our children they’re too old for the way they’re misbehaving. Too old to be sulking about dinner, too old to be getting others to clean their room. But we often forget to apply this same thinking to ourselves.

The New Zealand All Blacks are one of the most successful and disciplined rugby teams – for good reason. They’re talented, tough, and very imposing. But there’s another factor to their reputation and success: they always tidy up their locker room after a game. They put things away; they sweep the floor. They look after themselves, and leave things nice and neat for the next person.

This principle also applies to parenting. You want your kids to be the best versions of themselves? Teach them to sweep up after themselves, or work on cultivating the kind of character that does. Because character is important. No matter how talented or motivated someone is, it counts for nothing if they’re weak in character. As the Greek philosopher Heraclitus said, “Character is fate.”

In ancient Greece, Lycurgus took two dogs from the same litter. He raised one in his home, and the other out in the hunting fields. It was only the outdoor dog that would choose to chase a hare instead of having its easily available food. Lycurgus used this principle of nurture to raise the children of Sparta to be warriors.

As a parent, your job is to nurture. This doesn’t mean creating superstars, or athletes, or the next in line for the family business – though that’s always a possibility. You’re nurturing your children into becoming who they are.

There’s an important message that basketball coach Pete Carril would tell his younger players – one that he himself learned from his father. It goes like this: the strong will always take from the weaker, but it’s the smart ones that take from the strong.

Remember this – no matter what advantages of wealth, talent, or opportunity you may be born with, there’s a secret weapon that you can always use to get the upper hand: your brain. As a parent, your job is to teach your kid to use their brain.