Stay Sexy & Don't Get Murdered Book Summary - Stay Sexy & Don't Get Murdered Book explained in key points

Listen to the Intro

00:00

Stay Sexy & Don't Get Murdered summary

Name: Stay Sexy &amp; Don't Get Murdered
Rating: 3.3 (24 reviews)
Author: Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark

Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark

The Definitive How-To Guide

3.3 (24 ratings)

19 mins

Table of Contents

Stay Sexy & Don't Get Murdered
summarized in 7 key ideas

Audio & text in the Blinkist app

Key idea 1 of 7

What’s in it for me? Get advice from the women behind America’s hottest true crime podcast.

When Georgia Hardstark and Karen Kilgariff met at a Halloween party in 2015, they discovered that they shared a passion for true crime stories and tales of real-world evil. A friendship immediately blossomed and they decided to start a podcast to explore these subjects. Since then, My Favorite Murder has become an international hit with millions of listeners. The success of the podcast has led to sold-out live shows and a book deal.

Both Georgia and Karen overcame major obstacles, including mental health issues and eating disorders, which shaped the way they see the world today. In these blinks, you’ll hear their never-before-told stories. Along the way, you’ll learn lessons that you can apply to your own life.

A short warning before we begin: The following blinks contain explicit language.

Trigger warning: violence, sexual violence, death or dying, Sexism and misogyny. A potentially disturbing scene occurs in blink 7.

In these blinks, you’ll find out

how Georgia became a “Murderino”;
why it’s never too late to start therapy; and
why victims are never to blame for a murder.

When it comes to your well-being, screw politeness – but don’t blame yourself if you fail to take action.

As everyone knows, it’s hard being a kid. This was certainly the case for Georgia Hardstark, whose worries about things like her flat chest and her hyperactivity led her to suffer from low self-esteem. But when she discovered the underground feminist punk movement known as Riot Grrrl, Georgia threw her doubts aside and became a fearless, outspoken feminist.

Riot Grrrl helped Georgia realize that kindness was not the same as remaining polite when people tried to take advantage of her. She learned to say “fuck politeness,” especially when it came to predators. For example, at a bar late one night, a man bought her a shot in spite of her persistent refusal. Instead of accepting the drink politely, she poured it onto the floor in front of him and went home.

But even while Riot Grrrl was helping Georgia become a strong, assertive woman, she discovered that it isn’t possible to be courageous in every circumstance. After graduating from high school in 1998, Georgia moved from Orange County to Los Angeles and worked as a waitress. One day, one of her regular customers, a middle-aged man named Lawrence, showed her his photography portfolio and asked if he could take her picture.

She was flattered and even dressed up for the occasion in platform sandals, a tight shirt and extra makeup. But when Lawrence suggested that he drive them to a picturesque lookout in the Santa Monica Mountains, Georgia intuitively felt that something wasn’t right. Still, not wanting to disappoint him, she agreed to the plan.

Riding in Lawrence’s car, Georgia feared that she was about to become a murder victim. And on the cliff, Lawrence’s uncharacteristically soulless gaze confirmed that she was right to be afraid. But she continued to play along, and even agreed when Lawrence asked her to take her shirt off for a picture. In the end, Lawrence didn’t harm her, and drove her back to the parking lot where they’d met. As soon as they pulled in, Georgia jumped out of the car and ran away.

Georgia was so ashamed that she had let Lawrence photograph her shirtless that she didn’t tell anyone about the incident until bringing it up on My Favorite Murder years later. With the help of her therapist, Georgia came to realize that while self-advocacy is important, mastering it takes practice. Like the many victims she read about in true crime stories, failing to stand up for herself in a frightening situation didn’t mean that she was to blame for another person’s actions.

Being healthy requires good friends and positivity, but it may also require therapy.

If you spend any amount of time on the internet, you’ll know that the concept of self-care, or treating yourself well, has gained traction in recent years. The majority of self-care advocates recommend prioritizing your health by taking up yoga or adopting a vegan diet. But for Karen Kilgariff, self-care is simply about taking responsibility for your problems with the support of therapy and close friends.

Karen had a full-time job that was consuming all of her energy. In conversations, she would blame others for anything that went wrong and gossip about these experiences with other coworkers. She’d then sometimes cope with her guilt about oversharing by pivoting to blaming her confidants!

A teenage shoplifting incident taught Georgia the importance of friends and family.

As the child of a single mother whose meager income and child support barely covered the bills, Georgia couldn’t afford the luxuries that her Orange County classmates enjoyed. It wasn’t easy wearing relatives’ hand-me-downs, so it was no surprise when Georgia developed into a rebellious 13-year-old with a shoplifting habit.

For Georgia, stealing was a way of taking back what she felt was rightfully hers. Using the deep pockets of the Levi’s jean jacket that she had received as a Hanukkah present, she shoplifted her first G-string, pricey shampoo, multiple boxes of Marlboro Red cigarettes and a Red Hot Chili Peppers cassette tape.

Georgia’s decades-long obsession with true crime stories preceded her friendship with Karen.

Ever wonder how the voices behind My Favorite Murder became obsessed with true crime? Well, Georgia’s interest in the subject dates back to her early encounters with horror fiction in the 1980s. After watching the movie adaptation of Pet Sematary, Georgia became fascinated with the genre and began reading Stephen King books such as Christine and The Dead Zone. Right away, she became addicted to the feeling of fear that the stories induced. She also quickly grew to value the way in which books kept her company.

Around that time, she read The Stranger Beside Me, a biography about the serial killer Ted Bundy written by Ann Rule. She became immediately hooked on real-life crime stories. Though she wouldn’t know the term until someone coined it on the My Favorite Murder Facebook page over two decades later, she became a Murderino that day – a true-crime fanatic.

A lifetime of therapy taught Georgia not to fear a diagnosis.

As we’ve learned, Karen started going to therapy as an adult and realized that it’s never too late to benefit from professional counseling. Georgia, on the other hand, has been seeing a therapist since she was six years old, shortly after her parents divorced.

She still finds therapy a helpful mechanism to cope with life, and continues to learn new things about herself in her sessions. One valuable takeaway she’s had from therapy is that being diagnosed with a disorder doesn’t mean disaster. Over the years, Georgia has been diagnosed with anxiety, ADHD, depression and OCD. But whereas some people might panic after being told they have a psychological condition, Georgia knows that a diagnosis is in fact a positive thing.

Before becoming a full-time comedian, Karen worked her fair share of odd jobs.

When it comes to personal safety – or “how not to get murdered” – Karen and Georgia agree that one of the best ways to watch out for yourself is to become self-sufficient. In other words, you need to learn how to pay the bills and feed yourself with a job.

On her journey to becoming a stand-up comedian, Karen had her fair share of odd jobs, As a high schooler, she worked as a clerk in a frozen yogurt shop. At this time she had an eating disorder, which led her to binge on food to deal with the stress of teenage life. But since all the cool girls had jobs at the yogurt shop, it didn’t occur to her that working with sugary foods might not be the best fit.

We need to shift the conversation from victim blaming and find creative ways to identify and stop killers.

When Georgia and Karen started My Favorite Murder, they wanted to analyze true crime stories and identify ways that women could learn to protect themselves from predators. On the show, they offered lessons and safety advice inspired by each murder they covered. However, many listeners criticized this, pointing out that their advice could also be seen as victim blaming. Suggestions like “never get into a car with a stranger” imply that anyone who does so is to blame if something bad subsequently happens.

Taking the criticism onboard, Georgia and Karen sought to shift their approach to true crime. One story they covered proved particularly helpful in understanding the problem with victim blaming.

Want to see all full key ideas from Stay Sexy & Don't Get Murdered?

Key ideas in Stay Sexy & Don't Get Murdered

More knowledge in less time

Read or listen

Get the key ideas from nonfiction bestsellers in minutes, not hours.

Find your next read

Get book lists curated by experts and personalized recommendations.

Shortcasts ^New

We’ve teamed up with podcast creators to bring you key insights from podcasts.

What is Stay Sexy & Don't Get Murdered about?

Stay Sexy & Don’t Get Murdered (2019) details the personal lives of the women behind the hit true crime podcast My Favorite Murder. Spanning their formative experiences and the things they learned while making the show, this book shares the stories that shaped the authors into who they are today.

Who should read Stay Sexy & Don't Get Murdered?

Self-improvement junkies
Fans of My Favorite Murder
People dealing with mental health issues

About the Author

Karen Kilgariff is a comedian, sitcom writer, podcast personality and television producer. She’s appeared on Conan, Mr. Show and The Book Group and has written for TV shows such as Baskets and Portlandia. Her musical comedy album Live at the Bootleg was named one of Vulture’s Best Stand-up Specials of 2014.

Georgia Hardstark is a food writer, podcaster and television presenter. Together with Alie Ward, she’s hosted several shows for the Cooking Channel, including Classy Ladies and Tripping Out with Alie & Georgia.

Categories with Stay Sexy & Don't Get Murdered

Biography & Memoir

Books like Stay Sexy & Don't Get Murdered

Perversion of Justice

Julie K. Brown

The Jeffrey Epstein Story

Murder, Fraud, and the Last Trial of Harper Lee

Intimate Tales, Untold Secrets, and Advice for Living Your Best Life

Adventures in the Culinary Underbelly

A True Story of Murder, Family Secrets, and the Unbreakable Bond of Sisterhood

What Bugs, Burns, Prints, DNA, and More Tell Us About Crime

Your Personal Guide to the Mastery of Magic Words

14 min

4.7

Killing the Mob

Bill O'Reilly and Martin Dugard

The Fight Against Organized Crime in America

The Art of Debating, Persuading, and Public Speaking

A #1 Bestselling Psychological Thriller With Bone-Chilling Twists

20 min

4.0

Walk the Blue Line

James Patterson and Matt Eversmann

They walk the line between life and death

15 min

4.5

Good Vibes, Good Life

Vex King

How Self-Love Is the Key to Unlocking Your Greatness

The People Versus O. J. Simpson

15 min

In Cold Blood

Truman Capote

A True Account of a Multiple Murder and its Consequences

How to Be Who You Are and Use What You’ve Got to Get What You Want

Paths, Dangers, Strategies

18 min

4.2

21 Lessons for the 21st Century

Yuval Noah Harari

Future proof yourself against the 21st Century

20 min

4.4

The Highly Sensitive Person

Elaine N. Aron

How to Thrive When the World Overwhelms You

8 min

4.2

The Power of Myth

Joseph Campbell with Bill Moyers

From ancient myths to Han Solo

17 min

4.3

Baby Steps Millionaires

Dave Ramsey

How Ordinary People Built Extraordinary Wealth-and how You Can Too

7 Powerful Mindset Changes for Lasting Weight Loss

What the Brain Reveals About Our Power To Change Others

17 min

4.3

Under the Banner of Heaven

Jon Krakauer

A Story of Violent Faith

How to Fuel Success, Create Happiness, and Conquer Anything

27 min

4.6

The Black Swan

Nassim Nicholas Taleb

The Impact of the Highly Improbable

Stop Pleasing, Start Living

26 min

3.8

The Self-Made Billionaire Effect

John Sviokla and Mitch Cohen

How Extreme Producers Create Massive Value

A Political Satire on the Corrupting Influence of Power

31 min

4.8

The Happiness Project

Gretchen Rubin

Or, Why I Spent a Year Trying to Sing in the Morning, Clean My Closets, Fight Right, Read Aristotle, and Generally Have More Fun

Unlocking the Secrets of Weight Loss

22 min

4.6

Pathways to Peace of Mind

Napoleon Hill

Never-Before-Published Writings on Obtaining the Greatest Riches

15 min

4.3

Breaking The Habit of Being Yourself

Joe Dispenza

How to Lose Your Mind and Create a New One

16 min

4.6

Thinking, Fast and Slow

Daniel Kahneman

Intuition or deliberation? Where you can (and can't) trust your brain

Collected life lessons from Oprah's popular column

10 min

4.4

Parenting Outside the Lines

Meghan Leahy

Forget the Rules, Tap into Your Wisdom, and Connect with Your Child

Learning to Love Yourself and Your World with the Practice of RAIN

Sexual Strategy for Men and Insight Into the Red Pill Ideology

A Magical Fable About Following Your Dreams

Turn Your Dreams into a Licensing Goldmine While Letting Others Do the Work

Rethinking Infidelity

A Sensational Story of Murder, Madness, Glamour, and Greed

How Breaking Family Patterns Can Liberate the Way We Live and Love

16 min

4.5

Love More, Fight Less

Gina Senarighi

Communication Skills Every Couple Needs

The Dangers of the American Dream During the Great Depression

15 min

4.4

Will

Will Smith with Mark Manson

Inspiring Observations and Life Lessons

24 min

3.8

Sun Tzu and the Art of Business

Mark R. McNeilly

Six Strategic Principles for Managers

Methods for Manifesting a Life Beyond Your Wildest Dreams

34 min

4.5

People ❤️ Blinkist

Sven O.

It's highly addictive to get core insights on personally relevant topics without repetition or triviality. Added to that the apps ability to suggest kindred interests opens up a foundation of knowledge.

Thi Viet Quynh N.

Great app. Good selection of book summaries you can read or listen to while commuting. Instead of scrolling through your social media news feed, this is a much better way to spend your spare time in my opinion.

Jonathan A.

Life changing. The concept of being able to grasp a book's main point in such a short time truly opens multiple opportunities to grow every area of your life at a faster rate.

Renee D.

Great app. Addicting. Perfect for wait times, morning coffee, evening before bed. Extremely well written, thorough, easy to use.