Adventures in Grandparenting
It began with a text message.
Anna was sitting in her dining room when it arrived. It was from Quin, her oldest son, and he had joyful news. His wife, Lynn, had made it through an emergency C-section. So had Arthur, the child whose birth they’d all been anxiously awaiting.
Roughly 360,000 children are born every day. And every day, if they’re lucky enough to witness the occasion, twice as many women become grandmothers like Anna. That’s the big picture. Zoom in, though, and those kinds of statistics look pretty meaningless. What really sticks out is how those women’s roles change as they navigate the shift from motherhood to grandmotherhood.
So what’s the difference?
Here’s the key message: Grandparents are supporting characters in their grandchildren’s lives.
Most kids are raised by their parents. When they hit adolescence and look back on their formative early years, their moms and dads inevitably loom largest. Grandparents are different. Their names come later in the credits, along with the rest of the supporting cast.
But as anyone who has ever had a grandparent will tell you, that doesn’t mean they’re not important. Secondary? Sure. Meaningless? Far from it.
Just think of the vital role played by supposedly “peripheral” figures in literature. Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet just wouldn’t work without the character of the nurse, who secretly carries messages between the star-crossed lovers. Then there’s Mrs. Hudson, the practical housekeeper who keeps a roof over the head of Arthur Conan Doyle’s famously austere detective, Sherlock Holmes.
Supporting characters “flesh out” the plot. Like a movie featuring only a small cast of stars, life without colorful background characters would be poorer. Our grandparents give us a sense of connection with our histories, helping us understand who we are and what we can become.
The first step on the journey to becoming a grandmother is accepting that you’ll never play the same role in the lives of your children’s children as you did in the lives of your children. Color, texture, history, mythology – these are the things grandmothers can give their grandsons and granddaughters.
Nanaville (2019) is a guide to the figurative city of grandmotherhood. Being a grandma is a joyful experience, but it’s certainly not the same as being a mother. Breaking the habits of maternity can be difficult; however, it’s necessary if you want to be the best granny to your grandchildren. Filled with useful, first-hand tips on grandmothering, this book is a must for anyone new to “Nanaville.”
There are only two commandments of Nanaville: love the grandchildren and hold your tongue.
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Blink 3 von 12 - Eine kurze Geschichte der Menschheit
von Yuval Noah Harari
