The ADHD Effect on Marriage Book Summary - The ADHD Effect on Marriage Book explained in key points
Listen to the Intro

The ADHD Effect on Marriage summary

Melissa Orlov

Understand and Rebuild Your Relationship in Six Steps

4.5 (144 ratings)
17 mins
Table of Contents

    The ADHD Effect on Marriage
    Summary of 6 key ideas

    Audio & text in the Blinkist app
    Key idea 1 of 6

    Step one: Start with empathy

    As humans, the lens through which we view the world is so second nature that we often believe everyone in our lives shares our perspective. In reality, however, our points of view are highly individual. So, something obvious to you might be a complete mystery to your beloved.

    That’s why making empathy a habit is the first crucial step in rebuilding your relationship with your partner – irrespective of who has ADHD. The partner with ADHD might not realize the impact their behaviors have on their relationship. And the other partner won’t necessarily understand how differently they process information, or how their partner struggles every day with things that seem effortless to others.

    People with ADHD often feel different, ashamed, unlovable, and afraid of failure. Every day, they must navigate through the world with a constantly buzzing mind that prevents them from distinguishing what’s important to focus on and what isn’t a priority. Being relentlessly barraged by so much information is overwhelming, and can easily lead to panic.

    At the same time, their partner often feels neglected or unappreciated because the partner with ADHD doesn’t help with household chores, complete projects they initiate, or is chronically late and forgetful. Their frustration and resentment build, as the partner without ADHD takes on more and more household responsibilities. Soon, they feel like a parent, not a partner.

    But people can better manage their habits and behaviors when they feel safe and loved – no matter how their brain operates. That’s why every couple must begin with empathy.

    One way to cultivate empathy in your relationship is through letter writing. If you have ADHD, write a letter to your partner explaining what it’s like to live with your mile-a-minute brain. Stay focused on your experiences and feelings, not your marriage or relationship. This will offer your partner a glimpse of what you deal with every day, explaining that your behaviors aren’t the result of laziness or self-interest. Use your letter as a way to start a conversation where both of you can be curious about the other’s perspective in an open, non-judgmental way.

    Want to see all full key ideas from The ADHD Effect on Marriage?

    Key ideas in The ADHD Effect on Marriage

    More knowledge in less time
    Read or listen
    Read or listen
    Get the key ideas from nonfiction bestsellers in minutes, not hours.
    Find your next read
    Find your next read
    Get book lists curated by experts and personalized recommendations.
    Shortcasts New
    We’ve teamed up with podcast creators to bring you key insights from podcasts.

    What is The ADHD Effect on Marriage about?

    The ADHD Effect on Marriage (2010) sheds light on the way that Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) affects individuals and impacts established relationships. By providing insight into typical behavioral tendencies, it offers couples a framework in which to move beyond unhelpful patterns and re-establish a loving relationship.  

    Who should read The ADHD Effect on Marriage?

    • People with ADHD struggling to foster a happy relationship
    • Anyone wanting to improve their relationship with their ADHD partner
    • Therapists looking to better support clients with ADHD and their partners

    About the Author

    Melissa Orlov is a marriage counselor who specializes in supporting couples facing relationship challenges due to ADHD. She is the founder of and the author of award-winning books including The Couple’s Guide to Thriving with ADHD. Her work has been featured on mainstream media, including in The New York Times and on CNN.

    Categories with The ADHD Effect on Marriage

    Books like The ADHD Effect on Marriage

    People ❤️ Blinkist
    Sven O.

    It's highly addictive to get core insights on personally relevant topics without repetition or triviality. Added to that the apps ability to suggest kindred interests opens up a foundation of knowledge.

    Thi Viet Quynh N.

    Great app. Good selection of book summaries you can read or listen to while commuting. Instead of scrolling through your social media news feed, this is a much better way to spend your spare time in my opinion.

    Jonathan A.

    Life changing. The concept of being able to grasp a book's main point in such a short time truly opens multiple opportunities to grow every area of your life at a faster rate.

    Renee D.

    Great app. Addicting. Perfect for wait times, morning coffee, evening before bed. Extremely well written, thorough, easy to use.

    People also liked

    Start growing with Blinkist now
    28 Million
    Downloads on all platforms
    4.7 Stars
    Average ratings on iOS and Google Play
    Of Blinkist members create a better reading habit*
    *Based on survey data from Blinkist customers
    Powerful ideas from top nonfiction

    Try Blinkist to get the key ideas from 7,000+ bestselling nonfiction titles and podcasts. Listen or read in just 15 minutes.

    Start your free trial