Vagina summary

So what exactly is the vulva? Usually mislabeled as the vagina, the vulva comprises the clitoris, the mons pubis, the inner and outer labia, and the vaginal and urethral openings.

Many women are unaware of this difference, or they’ll say “vagina” since it’s more common. Even the author used to say “vagina” instead of “vulva” because she felt the latter was just a little too pedantic. But she reconsidered her own erasure of the word. She decided that using “vagina” in place of “vulva” reduced all of a woman’s sexuality to a hole. Feminist psychologist Harriet Lerner referred to this as a “psychic genital mutilation.”

As a teenager, the author was frustrated with her vagina. She was unable to insert a tampon; even though she’d been taught that she had a protective hymen covering her vaginal opening, it didn’t feel right. The prospect of asking her doctor to inspect her vagina felt impossible. She lived in Ireland, a Catholic country that wouldn’t legalize abortion for another two decades – a country that viewed women’s sexuality as something shameful.

She remained ignorant about her body and avoided physical intimacy all throughout her teens. Then, when she was 19, she fell asleep drunk at a party and was sexually assaulted.

The clitoris is often omitted in sex education classrooms and has been brushed off by scientists as a frivolous subject of research. As a result, many women don’t know about the sex organ that provides them sexual pleasure. In addition, the clitoris has been subjected to violence around the world.

Millions of women had long been aware of their clitoris, but it was only given its scientific name in the seventeenth century. It took another 200 years for the inner and outer clitoris to be drawn comprehensively, with its visible glans and clitoral hood and the shaft underneath the vulva’s tissue that split into two legs, or crura. 

For the author, orgasms were wrapped up in various iterations of shame for most of her life. It started with being ashamed of wanting an orgasm. There was no discussion of the female orgasm or of female masturbation at school. She began to experiment with touching herself despite a female peer telling her “girls who masturbate are sick.” 

She continued to masturbate, but she couldn’t manage an orgasm; this triggered another reason to feel ashamed. Finally, as she got older and successfully orgasmed through clitorial stimulation, she felt shame for being unable to achieve what the world considered the “right kind” of orgasm – a vaginal orgasm.

In 2017, the UK’s National Institute for Health and Care Excellence, or NICE, formally declared that doctors must listen to women who have symptoms of endometriosis. Endometriosis is an agonizing disease in which tissue similar to the endometrium, which lines the uterus, grows outside of the womb. Every month that a woman isn’t pregnant, the tissue bleeds, causing her chronic pain.

The physical suffering caused by endometriosis can wreck a woman’s life. It can affect her career and her relationships. It can also cause depression and anxiety. If left untreated, her organs can become fused and cause infertility. And yet, as highlighted by the advisory deemed necessary by NICE, women’s pain often isn’t taken seriously. In fact, it takes an average of seven to eight years to be diagnosed with endometriosis.

For many girls, getting their period for the first time is an unnecessarily traumatic experience. In 2017, 1 out of 4 girls in the UK felt totally unprepared for the start of their period while 1 in 7 didn’t know what was happening to them. 

Even girls who are prepared and informed are often upset the first time they menstruate. But maybe a girl’s first period feels especially horrible because it represents an induction into a culture bound by strict gender roles. It marks the loss of innocence and the beginning of being seen as a sexual object or a vessel for carrying babies. 

If you’ve ever taken hormonal contraception, you’re probably familiar with the possible side effects. Weight gain, depression, a decreased libido, the possibility of developing potentially deadly blood clots, and an increased likelihood of getting breast cancer are only some of the things that might await you if you choose to take it. But sometimes, it can feel like there’s not much of a choice.

After all, the only forms of male contraception that currently exist are condoms – which most couples in long-term relationships prefer not to use – or vasectomies. These are meant to be permanent and are only advisable for men who don’t want children in the future.

A recent study found that a quarter of women have considered leaving their jobs due to menopausal symptoms. Is menopause really that bad? Bad enough to quit your job? For some women, it can be. Coupled with ageism, misogyny, and a lack of discussion, many women feel unsupported and embarrassed in the workplace.

Consider the fact that, as women age, we hear their stories less often. This means that we rarely hear about menopause at all.