Didn't See It Coming summary

Chances are, you know people who’ve changed over the years. You might have friends who used to have tons of energy but now spend all their time in front of the TV. Or worse, you might know people who made wedding vows but find themselves flirting – or more – a few years into their marriage.

What if all your friends are bastions of self-control and good moral judgment? You only need to take a look at the highest levels of politics, entertainment, sports, and religious leadership. You’re sure to see people there who have fallen from grace, having abandoned values they claimed to hold dear. 

Not-so-breaking news: we’re more isolated than ever. Our phones, tablets, computers, cars, refrigerators, and the rest are all close enough to sentience to interfere in our relationships with those nearest and dearest to us.

What’s more, social media has morphed us all into obsessive narcissists. A well-known study from the 1950s asked teenagers whether they thought they were “very important.” Less than 10 percent said yes. The very same study conducted in the 2000s revealed that more than 80 percent of teens agreed that they were “very important.” With so many of us thinking that we’re God’s gift to humanity, it can be hard to give others the patience and attention they deserve.

Meet Aunt Helen. Aunt Helen’s house seems to be stuck in a previous decade. From her shag carpeting to her waterbed and orange egg chair, it’s clear that she’s stopped evolving her style. 

Aunt Helen knows what she likes, and she doesn’t feel the need to bother with avocado toast or succulents or whatever the kids are into these days. Even if her style comes back into fashion, she won’t even know that her egg chair is now worth a fortune on eBay.

Remember that study of narcissistic teens who classified themselves as “very important”? It’s easy to see that they suffer from pride – number five of our seven great challenges. But in fact, most of us suffer from pride, on some level at least. And that includes you.

At its heart, pride is the preoccupation with one’s self over all else. Pride is nurtured by insecurity. Prideful people are constantly comparing themselves to others, measuring how they stack up. They measure their self-worth according to their most recent success or failure. Perhaps worst of all, prideful people can’t take pleasure in someone else’s success. The victory of a peer, or even sometimes a loved one, means their loss. 

When the author was 40 years old, he gave the keynote address at North Point Church, founded by one of his mentors in Alpharetta, Georgia. He was over the moon when his mentor and family told him his speech was a “grand-slam home run.” 

In our society, workaholics are rewarded, and it was no different for Carey. He’d worked incredibly hard to prepare, and it was the pinnacle of his career to date. But what came next wasn’t an afterglow of happiness. In fact, it was the worst few months of his life. His productivity tanked, and he slipped into a deep depression. He even contemplated suicide. 

As Carey is the author of several popular books, it’s not a shock to learn that he loves writing. For many years he has kept a blog that keeps him pretty happy most days. 

One day in 2015, one of his blog posts attracted half a million viewers in its first 24 hours. He was completely elated. Until he wasn’t. The feeling didn’t last very long. Shortly after, Carey received a visit from our seventh and final great challenge in life: emptiness.