Daring to Trust summary

Movies often depict an idealized version of romance, with new lovers euphorically rushing into a relationship. Yet “real” relationships often play out quite differently.

Wise adults spend the first part of a relationship assessing a partner’s trustworthiness. Trust is the foundation for a stable, healthy relationship, as it allows both partners to feel safe and truly be intimate with each other.

People often overreact when they observe certain behaviors in a partner. Minor events, such as a partner in a bad mood, might trigger a disproportionate negative reaction on behalf of the other partner. Yet what might cause someone to overreact like this?

It’s difficult to trust people if you’ve been hurt in the past. Most people are sensitive about being rejected or deceived by a person they care about. They’ll be deeply hurt when their trust is violated, and have a hard time trusting others in the future.

Would you trust someone who deceives you about who they really are? Of course not. It’s important to be honest about yourself, which also means you have to be honest with yourself.

Start out by acknowledging and accepting your own feelings – you can’t know who you are until you know how you feel.

Fear of emotional pain is a natural part of being human, but you can lessen this fear by reminding yourself that truly, you can cope with anything that happens to you.

At the end of the day, every experience – good or bad – is an opportunity for personal growth.

Connecting with the Self empowers you and helps protect you from your own inner demons. That’s why it’s so important to practice mindfulness during highly stressful situations.

Practicing mindfulness allows you to focus on the present moment and maintain self-control. When you lose self-control, you’re essentially losing touch with your own emotions.