Wherever You Go, There You Are summary

Yes, I’m still here. Did this long pause irritate you? Maybe you felt some sort of impatience? Let’s stay with this feeling of frustration for a moment. Observe it. Where in your body do you feel it the strongest? Take a closer look inside. Once you think you got a hold of what you feel, ask yourself: What do these feelings of impatience and frustration want to tell me? 

Patience and mindfulness are deeply connected. Patience means that you accept things as they are, that you realize events always unfold in their own good time. You cannot hurry spring to come or the grass to grow. Being in a hurry usually doesn’t help—in fact, it often ends up making things worse. (Think of that day when you were late for a meeting and spilled take-away coffee all over yourself because you bumped into someone whilst trying to catch the bus.)

Speaking of observing how you feel: Have you ever noticed that there is no running away from anything? That problems and difficulties will always catch up with you, no matter how much you want to escape them? If only you lived on a beautiful beach or had more money, your life would be happier… Think again. We often tend to look outward to find either the cause or the solution to our problems, because we are scared to take responsibility. But what if you accepted your reality, without trying to change it?

Meditation is not about self-improvement. In fact, that’s the opposite of being mindful. Mindfulness is about accepting life as it is, accepting yourself as you are.

Welcome back. I promised to talk a bit about the beautiful ways in which practicing non-doing can change your life. In order to unlock this potential, we have to understand that non-doing is inherently linked to inquiry. The easiest way to get from doing to being is through asking yourself questions such as:  Am I currently doing something? If so, what is it? Can I stop it for a bit? Do I even have to do this? 

No worries, you don’t need to find answers to all of these questions. It’s quite the opposite! Mindful inquiry is about asking questions without expecting answers; it’s about questioning the very question itself. At its core, it is about noticing when you’re in a state of mindless doing, and guiding yourself to mindful being.

Apropos formal practice: You might already know that mindfulness can be practiced both formally and informally, but we haven’t spent much time explaining what the differences are. Let’s take a look at what makes a practice “formal” before we explore how you can practice mindfulness informally in your everyday life. 

Formal meditation basically means that you make sure to reserve specific periods of time for the development of mindfulness and concentration; think of going to a meditation retreat or introducing a mindfulness habit to your morning routine. In this dedicated time, all other activities are put on hold. However, the length of time you commit to formal meditation is entirely up to you. Just be sure to come out of your meditation mindfully. As a general guideline, Jon Kabat-Zinn finds 45 minutes per day to be a good standard practice; for him, that was enough time to achieve stillness and sustain attention. I have to admit that I find it difficult on some days to meditate for 45 minutes or an hour, so my goal is to spend at least 25 minutes meditating every day. That’s the minimum amount of time I feel comfortable dedicating to my practice on a busy day, but for example on weekends and more relaxed days, I would sit for up to an hour. 

Exercises like the mountain meditation can be extended, too. If you do, however, find the idea of sitting still for an extended period of time too challenging, or if you want to complement your formal meditation practice through some informal ones, you can try a walking or lying down meditation instead.

When it comes to walking meditations, their purpose isn’t to try to get anywhere. You could even choose to walk in a circle or back and forth.

Mindfulness can become lax with the anticipation of finishing. The transition out of your meditation practice can sometimes feel very blurry or bumpy, but even this experience can be met with mindfulness. Bring genuine curiosity to the impulses which tell you it’s time to stop your practice, and try to put the ego aside that’s rushing through the last moments of your practice.

It probably comes as no surprise that your ego is the biggest obstacle you’ll face on your path to mindfulness. For instance, when you experience a significant moment during meditation, you might start congratulating yourself on doing so well. But be wary of such feelings as they may be your ego giving you a false sense of having “made it” to a higher level in your practice.