What is the main message of Nanaville?

The main message of Nanaville is the joys and challenges of being a grandparent.

How long does it take to read Nanaville?

The reading time for Nanaville varies depending on the reader's pace. However, the Blinkist summary can be read in just 15 minutes.

Who is the author of Nanaville?

The author of Nanaville is Anna Quindlen.

Parenting

Nanaville Book Summary - Nanaville Book explained in key points

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Nanaville summary

Name: Nanaville
Rating: 3.8 (48 reviews)
Author: Anna Quindlen

Anna Quindlen

Adventures in Grandparenting

3.8 (48 ratings)

17 mins

Brief summary

Nanaville by Anna Quindlen is a heartwarming memoir about becoming a grandmother and the joys and challenges of this new role. It reflects on the relationships between grandparents and grandchildren, and the different ways in which they support each other through life.

Topics

Family Life Mindful Loving

Table of Contents

Nanaville
Summary of 6 key ideas

Audio & text in the Blinkist app

Key idea 1 of 6

What’s in it for me? Master the art of grandmothering.

Life is full of transitions. As we grow older, we slip into new roles and take up new responsibilities, above all for our own kids. Few changes seem as dramatic as the metamorphosis of a mother into a grandmother. That can be challenging. Moms, after all, are decision-makers, while nanas are secondary characters.

That isn’t a demotion. Just ask Anna Quindlen. Learning to be a grandmother to her eldest son’s first child, Arthur, has been an eye-opening and deeply rewarding experience. But it isn’t the same as being a mother.

Providing support without slipping into old “Mom knows best” habits is a balancing act. Mistakes are inevitable, as Anna knows from her own experience.

Where she once led, she now follows. That’s just part of living in “Nanaville” – a place to visit and learn in rather than the place grandchildren call home.

In these blinks, we’ll follow Anna’s learning curve. Along the way, you’ll also find out

why Anna decided to speak to her grandson in Mandarin;
how grandparenting has changed over the years; and
why you should learn to hold your tongue.

Grandparents are supporting characters in their grandchildren’s lives.

It began with a text message.

Anna was sitting in her dining room when it arrived. It was from Quin, her oldest son, and he had joyful news. His wife, Lynn, had made it through an emergency C-section. So had Arthur, the child whose birth they’d all been anxiously awaiting.

Roughly 360,000 children are born every day. And every day, if they’re lucky enough to witness the occasion, twice as many women become grandmothers like Anna. That’s the big picture. Zoom in, though, and those kinds of statistics look pretty meaningless. What really sticks out is how those women’s roles change as they navigate the shift from motherhood to grandmotherhood.

So what’s the difference?

Here’s the key message: Grandparents are supporting characters in their grandchildren’s lives.

Most kids are raised by their parents. When they hit adolescence and look back on their formative early years, their moms and dads inevitably loom largest. Grandparents are different. Their names come later in the credits, along with the rest of the supporting cast.

But as anyone who has ever had a grandparent will tell you, that doesn’t mean they’re not important. Secondary? Sure. Meaningless? Far from it.

Just think of the vital role played by supposedly “peripheral” figures in literature. Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet just wouldn’t work without the character of the nurse, who secretly carries messages between the star-crossed lovers. Then there’s Mrs. Hudson, the practical housekeeper who keeps a roof over the head of Arthur Conan Doyle’s famously austere detective, Sherlock Holmes.

Supporting characters “flesh out” the plot. Like a movie featuring only a small cast of stars, life without colorful background characters would be poorer. Our grandparents give us a sense of connection with our histories, helping us understand who we are and what we can become.

The first step on the journey to becoming a grandmother is accepting that you’ll never play the same role in the lives of your children’s children as you did in the lives of your children. Color, texture, history, mythology – these are the things grandmothers can give their grandsons and granddaughters.

By telling your children how to parent their children, you run the risk of alienating them.

Feeding, diapering, reading, singing, lifting, cuddling, loving, and sometimes chastizing – so much of motherhood is in the active present tense. Being a mom means doing. No wonder it’s so hard to take a back seat when your kids get older and start carving their own path through life!

Things get even tougher when you’re a grandmother. By now, you’re a grizzled veteran. You’ve seen it all. You know what’s what, and it shows in the way you think and talk. “That baby is hungry.” “That baby needs Motrin.” “That baby should sleep more.”

Nanaville isn’t about what you have to do; it’s about what you want to do.

Wo ai ni, sunzi. That’s Mandarin for “I love you, Grandson,” and they’re the first words Anna learned in that language. But before we get to that, let’s rewind back to before Anna was a grandmother.

Here’s the key message: Nanaville isn’t about what you have to do; it’s about what you want to do.

You learn who your children are when they have kids of their own.

Quin is the kind of guy who knows stuff. Moby Dick, popular music, Chinese history – you name it, he’s got the answers. He’s analytical, meticulous, and logical. There’s a reason he wears a T-shirt with the slogan “Grammar police: to correct and serve.”

These are great qualities, but Anna wondered how compatible they were with the chaos of raising a child. Quin wondered that, too. For a long time, he was against the idea – kids, he said, just weren’t his bag. His mother had long thought the same way. In her twenties, she read a book called The Baby Trap, a 1970s manifesto for the “childfree movement.” For a long time, she cherished the freedom of childlessness and hated the idea of having her wings clipped.

Today’s baby boomers are a different kind of grandparents.

It’s not just the advice doctors give expectant mothers that’s changed over the decades – childrearing in general is a different ballgame.

Take Anna’s parents. In their day, things were uncomplicated. You had kids and got on with it. Entertainment meant sending your children to go out and play, and the closest you got to an educational toy was your younger brother or sister. Shoes and school clothes were hand-me-downs, and the teacher was always right, especially if she happened to be a cane-wielding nun.

Children like Arthur represent the future of the United States.

When Arthur was born, his doctor flipped him onto his stomach and showed his parents their baby’s bottom. A patch the size of an adult hand and the color of a stormy sky spread across his buttocks. The pediatrician explained that this was known as a Mongolian blue spot – a birthmark common among Asian babies.

The point wasn’t just to reassure Arthur’s mom and dad that everything was fine. Blue spots are often mistaken for a sign of abuse in communities unfamiliar with Asian babies, so it was important that Quin and Lynn could explain what it was.

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What is Nanaville about?

Nanaville (2019) is a guide to the figurative city of grandmotherhood. Being a grandma is a joyful experience, but it’s certainly not the same as being a mother. Breaking the habits of maternity can be difficult; however, it’s necessary if you want to be the best granny to your grandchildren. Filled with useful, first-hand tips on grandmothering, this book is a must for anyone new to “Nanaville.”

Nanaville Review

Nanaville (2019) by Anna Quindlen explores the complexities and joys of becoming a grandparent. Here's why this book is worth reading:

Quindlen's honest and relatable storytelling allows readers to connect with the experiences and emotions of being a grandparent, creating a sense of empathy and understanding.
The book offers insightful reflections on the changing dynamics of family relationships, providing valuable lessons and perspectives for readers of all ages.
Through humor and warmth, Quindlen brings to life the delightful and sometimes challenging moments of being a grandparent, ensuring that the book is far from boring.

Best quote from Nanaville

There are only two commandments of Nanaville: love the grandchildren and hold your tongue.

—Anna Quindlen

Who should read Nanaville?

Women on the verge of grandmotherhood
Grandmas struggling to overcome maternal habits
Mothers and fathers trying to navigate Nanaville

About the Author

Anna Quindlen is a journalist, novelist, and Pulitzer Prize-winning columnist. In 1998, her novel One True Thing was made into a hit film starring Meryl Streep and Renée Zellwegger. Since then, she’s published 13 books, including Lots of Candles, Plenty of Cake, and Still Life with Bread Crumbs. She became a grandmother in 2016.

Categories with Nanaville

Parenting Biography & Memoir

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