How to Be a Stoic summary

From the nervous flyer fretting about turbulence to dieters unable to shift those stubborn last few pounds, many of us expend energy on things we cannot change. Thankfully, Stoicism has advice for us.

A central principle of Stoicism is the dichotomy of control. That means, as Epictetus taught, that we must make the most of what we can control and accept what isn’t in our power to change.

Many ancient philosophers, Stoics included, argued that we should pursue moral virtue over material benefits like wealth and comfort.

The philosopher Socrates, who heavily influenced the Stoics and most of Western thinking, provided a model, albeit an extreme one.

We’ve seen that living with virtue was important to the Stoics. But what exactly did they mean when they talked of a virtuous life?

Well, Stoicism identified four aspects of virtue – temperance, courage, justice, and, most importantly, wisdom.

Concerned as they were about the practicalities of how to live life, Stoics were fans of using role models to illustrate optimal behavior.

The Roman Stoic philosopher Seneca wrote an essay on the nature of the wise person or the ideal Stoic role model, and held up one such man, Marcus Cato, as a prime example.

Few of us are as willing to face death as Cato. Indeed, many of us have a nagging fear of death. It is understandably troubling to consider the reality that one day, your consciousness will no longer exist.

Epictetus did not share these fears. He said, “I must die, must I? ... if soon, I dine now, as it is time for dinner, and afterward when the time comes I will die.”

In modern life, it is easy to be provoked to anger or frustration by any number of day-to-day irritations, from an insulting colleague to the inconsiderate subway passenger eating smelly food on a crowded train.

Stoicism teaches us not to react impulsively to these provocations.

How many true friends do you have? In an age of social media connectedness, it can seem that the word “friend” is somewhat vague.

Ancient Greeks were lucky enough to have a richer vocabulary than we do, and the philosopher Aristotle talked of three types of friends, only one of which the Stoics regarded as important.