Big Dating Energy summary

They say there are plenty of fish in the sea, but now that you know exactly what kind of fish you’re after, how do you catch it?

Welcome to the 21st century, where your fishing net is likely to be an app on your phone. It’s easy to get jaded using dating apps, but the secret to success is showing up authentically.

First dates can be a minefield—like that time you realized halfway through dinner that you’ve been calling them by the wrong name, or when your attempt at a suave greeting turned into an awkward handshake-high-five hybrid. But fear not! With this handy blueprint, you’ll navigate first dates with ease and authenticity.

Step one: ground yourself. Review your lists of what you genuinely want in a partner. The excitement and nerves of a first date can make you lose sight of your core priorities, so keep them fresh in your mind to stay centered.

First dates get all the attention, but what about that nerve-wracking, exciting "will this turn into something" phase? That’s the pre-relationship phase, and it’s just as important. This stage can be tricky and anxiety-inducing because it’s different for every couple. How can you navigate this fun yet nail-biting stage?

Lean into the positives. The best part about this phase? While you’re building attachments, you’re not yet attached. If you uncover something off-putting—like realizing they put ketchup on everything, even their salad—you can end things without too much fuss. Remember, everyone’s on their best behavior, trying to hide their quirks. But there are important things you need to know: Do your values align? Are your shared defense mechanisms a recipe for disaster? Keep your list of priorities in mind at all times.

You’ve navigated the breezy dating phase and now you’re ready for something more defined. That’s fantastic! But how exactly do you make this transition smoothly?

First, be clear about what you’re asking for: more commitment, dedication, and devotion. Equally important, are you ready to give those things back? You can’t ask for something you’re not prepared to give. Be brutally honest with yourself. What’s driving your urge to formally DTR (Define the Relationship)? Is it a natural desire for more connection and intimacy, or is it coming from fear and anxiety? If fear is in the driver’s seat, take a pause.