Existential Kink Book Summary - Existential Kink Book explained in key points
Listen to the Intro

Existential Kink summary

Carolyn Elliott

Unmask Your Shadow and Embrace Your Power

4.2 (57 ratings)
16 mins

Brief summary

Existential Kink by Carolyn Elliott offers a provocative and transformative approach to self-help. Through embracing our deepest psychological desires, we can unlock our true potential and discover a more fulfilling version of ourselves.

Table of Contents

    Existential Kink
    Summary of 5 key ideas

    Audio & text in the Blinkist app
    Key idea 1 of 5

    Embrace your inner weird

    Ever felt like there's something inherently wrong with you? And have you ever tried to cover up that feeling with accomplishments, approval from others, or substances like drugs or alcohol? If so, you’re not alone. This feeling of not being OK can be triggered by anything – a bad day at work, a snarky comment from a friend, or even hearing about someone else's success.

    But what if you could transform that feeling of “wrongness” into raw, hot, glorious power? In the author’s journey through life, she’s found that her existential kink – her strange attraction to pain, bondage, and limitation – was actually the key to unlocking her full potential.

    For instance, during her recovery from heroin addiction in her twenties, she realized there was a part of her that was secretly turned on by the destructive aspects of her life. She was in an abusive relationship, and while she thought she hated it, deep down, she actually loved the feeling of importance it gave her.

    Through this realization, she began to understand that she could change her life by embracing the parts of herself she had previously hidden and shamed. The more she got in touch with these darker aspects, and made them work for her, the more her life began to transform for the better. Today, she has a loving husband, a successful business, a supportive community, and a deeper connection to herself and the world around her.

    So how can you use this knowledge to change your own life? Well first, recognize that your shadow – those hidden and shamed parts of yourself – is holding you back from true happiness and success. By bringing your shadow into the light, you can dissolve old negative patterns and open yourself up to receiving more beauty and bounty in your life.

    This process is called existential kink, and it's a powerful way to come to terms with your unconscious desires and beliefs. When you integrate your shadow into your everyday self, you become more capable of exerting positive influence in your life and your environment.

    But how do you actually do this? Well, you can start by paying attention to the stories and experiences of others who have done this work. Don’t lean away from similarities or patterns in your own life here. Be open to exploring the strange corridors of your psyche and learning to dance with your shadow. Remember that you have the power to change your life, no matter how dark or twisted things might seem. Give yourself permission to embrace all the scary stuff, and watch as your world transforms.

    Want to see all full key ideas from Existential Kink?

    Key ideas in Existential Kink

    More knowledge in less time
    Read or listen
    Read or listen
    Get the key ideas from nonfiction bestsellers in minutes, not hours.
    Find your next read
    Find your next read
    Get book lists curated by experts and personalized recommendations.
    Shortcasts New
    We’ve teamed up with podcast creators to bring you key insights from podcasts.

    What is Existential Kink about?

    Existential Kink (2020) invites you to transform your life by embracing your deepest desires and hidden shadows. Through a radical and intriguing journey, you'll discover the power of turning your “wrongness” into personal growth and self-acceptance. With the help of seven axioms and practical exercises, prepare to unleash your true potential and create positive change.

    Existential Kink Review

    Existential Kink (2020) by Carolyn Elliott is a thought-provoking book that explores the concept of turning our perceived weaknesses and pains into sources of power and fulfillment. Here's why this book is worth reading:

    • Through introspective exploration and eye-opening anecdotes, it invites readers to embrace their shadows and transform them into catalysts for personal growth.
    • By offering a fresh perspective on suffering and desires, the book challenges conventional thinking and empowers readers to reclaim their narratives.
    • The author's relatable, conversational tone and authentic storytelling captivate readers, ensuring an engaging and rewarding reading experience.

    Who should read Existential Kink?

    • Spiritual explorers seeking personal growth
    • Fans of unconventional self-help methods
    • Individuals curious about shadow work

    About the Author

    Carolyn Elliott is a transformational expert with a passion for guiding others on their personal journeys. With a PhD in Critical and Cultural Studies, she possesses a unique blend of academic knowledge and practical wisdom. As the founder of WITCH magazine, Elliott has inspired countless people to embrace their shadows and unleash their full potential.

    Categories with Existential Kink

    Book summaries like Existential Kink

    People ❤️ Blinkist 
    Sven O.

    It's highly addictive to get core insights on personally relevant topics without repetition or triviality. Added to that the apps ability to suggest kindred interests opens up a foundation of knowledge.

    Thi Viet Quynh N.

    Great app. Good selection of book summaries you can read or listen to while commuting. Instead of scrolling through your social media news feed, this is a much better way to spend your spare time in my opinion.

    Jonathan A.

    Life changing. The concept of being able to grasp a book's main point in such a short time truly opens multiple opportunities to grow every area of your life at a faster rate.

    Renee D.

    Great app. Addicting. Perfect for wait times, morning coffee, evening before bed. Extremely well written, thorough, easy to use.

    People also liked these summaries

    4.7 Stars
    Average ratings on iOS and Google Play
    31 Million
    Downloads on all platforms
    10+ years
    Experience igniting personal growth
    Powerful ideas from top nonfiction

    Try Blinkist to get the key ideas from 7,000+ bestselling nonfiction titles and podcasts. Listen or read in just 15 minutes.

    Start your free trial

    Existential Kink FAQs 

    What is the main message of Existential Kink?

    Discover the power of embracing your desires and fears to transform your life and unlock your true potential.

    How long does it take to read Existential Kink?

    The reading time for Existential Kink varies, but it typically takes a few hours. The Blinkist summary can be read in just 15 minutes.

    Is Existential Kink a good book? Is it worth reading?

    Existential Kink is a thought-provoking read that challenges societal norms and invites self-reflection. It's definitely worth exploring.

    Who is the author of Existential Kink?

    Carolyn Elliott is the author of Existential Kink.

    What to read after Existential Kink?

    If you're wondering what to read next after Existential Kink, here are some recommendations we suggest:
    • The Ultimate Retroactive Jealousy Cure by Jeff Billings
    • The Smart Girl's Guide to Polyamory by Dedeker Winston
    • More Than Two by Franklin Veaux & Eve Rickert
    • Urban Tantra by Barbara Carrellas
    • The Ethical Slut by Janet W. Hardy and Dossie Easton
    • How to Know a Person by David Brooks
    • The Power of the Pussy by Kara King
    • How to Be a People Magnet by Leil Lowndes
    • The Upside of Your Dark Side by Todd Kashdan and Robert Biswas-Diener
    • Come Together by Emily Nagoski