More Than Two summary

We’re all familiar with these stories: Lonely maiden stumbles upon her perfect prince. Or intrepid knight catches sight of an enchanting princess, and instantly wins her love. The specifics don’t matter; every story ends with happily ever after. These fairy tales of youth depict true love as easy and certain – a done deal once we find our one true soulmate.

But real life is more complicated, and real relationships take work to maintain. People change over time and so do their feelings; nearly half of all marriages end in divorce. That’s because the act of marriage isn’t the final act. It’s just the beginning of a lifelong process that involves reinvesting and adapting to your partner – and to yourself.

The human desire for companionship is strong. Yet for many, the expectation of monogamy brings its own host of problems. Partnerships can be strained when sex drives or attraction become mismatched. And while monogamy is considered a standard part of relationships, some people simply chafe at the idea that they have to deny their attraction to other people. 

How many people can you truly love? Actor Johnny Depp once famously said if you love two people, choose the second one you fell in love with. Why? Because if you truly loved the first, you wouldn’t have fallen for the second. But is this true? What if the heart doesn’t work this way? What if it’s possible to love more than one person – and to love them deeply and fully?

For some, one relationship flips a switch, seemingly satisfying all their drives for intimacy and companionship. But for others, it doesn’t. For them, the notion that one person could meet all their desires and needs seems unreasonable. They seek intimate bonds where they’re seen, known, and loved for who they are. But they wish to form multiple connections in the process.

This is polyamory: having multiple romantic relationships concurrently, with the knowledge and consent of all involved. Polyamory isn’t cheating; no one is violating the agreed rules of their relationship. Actually, polyamory is very compatible with honesty and commitment – but commitment in polyamorous relationships is about more than sexual exclusivity. It means investing in multiple relationships and supporting, as well as being supported by, multiple partners.

Let’s take a closer look at what this entails in the next section.