The Gift of Struggle summary

When Bobby was 17, he and his brother Ed played on the same basketball team. One evening, on the bus back home after a victory away, they stopped in front of a restaurant, as they often did. Everyone got off the bus – except for Bobby and his brother.

They couldn’t afford to eat out. Instead their mom had prepared them her legendary burritos. But this time something different happened. Mr Teague, a successful local businessman, and the father of one of the other players, got back on the bus and offered to buy Bobby and Ed their dinner. In return, he asked that, sometime in the future, they would pass on the favor to another deserving kid. 

That moment on the bus changed Bobby’s whole outlook on life. He found a new sense of purpose. One day, he thought, he could be just like Mr Teague, and be able to help kids just like himself. Years later, it would come to play a pivotal role in how he runs his business. 

In 2002 Bobby cofounded Populus Group, or PG, which provides services to help companies manage their non-permanent workforces. The company’s core belief is that everyone deserves a chance to succeed. For Bobby, given his story of childhood struggle, that motto makes perfect sense. But it took a moment of vulnerability for his team to really come on board with him. 

One day, as he was filming a video presentation about PG’s company culture, the cameraman asked him: Why do you believe that everyone deserves a chance to succeed? In response, and to his own surprise, he just launched into the bus story. When the video eventually reached the rest of the employees, it was the first time any of them had heard it. 

The story had a remarkable effect. Bobby’s intensity and passion as a leader finally made sense. The employees understood the meaning that the work had for him. The whole company came closer together, aligned around the common goal of helping kids just like Bobby.

As a leader, you need to recognize that everyone wants to do meaningful work. They want to feel like their input is contributing to a greater good. And sharing your struggle is the key to helping them realize that wish. Your struggle is what gives you your vision, your purpose. When you share that with your people, their engagement grows. They start to feel pride at being part of a movement for the good. 

But a word of caution here, you can’t do this halfheartedly. If you take the leap of sharing your vulnerability, you have to be all in. Take every chance possible to share with your team how they’re helping you achieve your biggest dream. And honor the stories that your employees share with you, or with one another. Everyone wants to feel seen and worthy. As a leader, you have the power to make that happen.