What Do Women Want? summary

Men and women may not be as different as we thought. Men are sometimes compared to animals tamed by society, creatures that express their true nature in socially acceptable ways: watching pornography, casting predatory glances at women on the street.

They are even said to be easily lured by the lowest regions of their brains, much like animals are. In this regard, women enjoy a far more respectable status, as they’re seldom compared to animals when it comes to sexuality.

Many arguments have been put forward to explain the differences between men’s and women’s awareness of their own sexuality.

Anatomy is one factor that could lead us toward an answer. From their teens onward, men can clearly tell when they’re aroused because, typically, penises grow and shrink in accordance with sexual excitement. An erect penis presses against clothing in a way that is impossible to ignore – both for the man and the object of his interest.

How much do you think sex among monkeys resembles sex among people? Perhaps it’s similar, with the male initiating sex and the female displaying hesitancy? Well, actually, these roles are sometimes inverted in the animal kingdom.

Often, it’s the females who go after sex and display bullying behavior, coercing males into sex. Take the rhesus monkey: in the 1950s and ’60s, rhesus monkeys were sent into space to see if humans could survive the journey in orbit. These monkeys were under scrutiny for years, and what researchers found was that female rhesus monkeys select males and invite them to copulate until their interest dwindles and they dismiss them. In addition, they don’t just mate when they’re ovulating – they have plenty of sex, regardless of their hormonal state.

The complexity of women’s desire can be explored through their fantasies. The author claims that, as shocking as it may sound, women sometimes fantasize about assault and coercion – a trick that triggers arousal.

Over the last four decades, nine different surveys asked women if they ever fantasized about being overpowered or coerced into sex. The latest results were published by sexologists J. Bivona and J. Critelli, from the University of North Texas, in the Journal of Sex Research (2009). Gathering testimonies from 355 college women, the study revealed that about 62 percent of these women had had such fantasies at least once.

Men have Viagra, but what do women have? With pharmaceutical companies making billions from assisting men with erectile dysfunction, the industry has since been scrabbling to find an equivalent drug for women.

Exploring the psychological and physical issues surrounding desire, researchers have uncovered some fascinating results. They found that women’s sexual issues are usually more psychological than genital or hormonal. One Australian study even ruled out the assumption that women’s loss of desire is hormonal. It showed that the thrill of a new relationship could easily cancel out hormonal effects, and concluded that the reason for a woman’s lack of desire may simply be that she’s been with the same partner for a long time. In addition, a German study of committed relationships found that women’s desire tended to fade more rapidly than men’s.

Women’s bodies and sexuality have been at the center of many discussions and studies throughout the twentieth century. And until Freud’s theories on the topic were challenged in the 1970s, women’s sexuality had been largely connected with psychoanalysis.

Freud compared female clitoral stimulation to burning pine shavings and vaginal stimulation to a hardwood fire, claiming that women focused only on the clitoris have an immature approach to their sexuality.

Dating events are fascinating opportunities for researchers to study seduction patterns. One such event is speed dating.

Speed dating appeared in the 1990s in Los Angeles, when a rabbi had the idea to make it easier to match potential partners. The setup is simple: you need a large room, tables and chairs and a group of men and women. Each woman sits at a table. Each man then sits at a table for a four-minute conversation. When his time is up, he stands up and moves to the next table.