Single, Dating, Engaged, Married summary

If you’re at all familiar with scuba diving, you’ll know that sometimes things can go wrong underwater. That’s why divers have a buddy system. In the event that your, or your buddy’s, oxygen tank malfunctions, the following is what you’re supposed to do: take turns breathing from the mouthpiece of the functioning oxygen tank while slowly making your way to the water’s surface. Here’s what often actually happens: fear sets in, the divers begin fighting over oxygen, and finally resurface in a panic. 

When we feel resources, like oxygen in our example, are plentiful, we can act generously and compassionately toward one another. But when we feel these resources are in short supply, we adopt a scarcity mindset. In this mindset, it’s difficult to be a good partner. 

The same principle applies to romantic relationships. When we feel resources like love and connection are plentiful, it’s easy to be a generous, empathic, responsive partner. When we feel they are scarce, it’s a different story.

Finding lasting love starts with understanding that we’re all beloved children of God. When we open our hearts to receive God's unconditional love and acceptance, we’re filled in a way that no human relationship can replicate. From this place of spiritual fullness, we’re able to approach romantic connections from a perspective of abundance rather than lack.

The search for a life partner is often framed as trying to find "the missing piece" – someone who will finally make us feel whole. But true wholeness comes from knowing we’re fully known and loved by our Creator. This spiritual foundation sets the stage for healthy dating and partnerships.

Consider the story from the gospel of John about Jesus meeting a Samaritan woman at a well. She had pursued love through multiple relationships, all of which had left her empty and wanting more. Jesus offered her living water – a metaphor for the only love that can fully satisfy the longings of the human heart.

All human love is meant to be a reflection of divine love. When we receive and understand God's affection for us, we gain the capacity to properly love others. Love's fire burns brightest when fueled by spiritual truth.

So how can we feel and receive God's love? First by accepting the reality that God cherishes us beyond measure, without qualification. There is nothing we can do to make God adore us more or less. 

Then we recognize that God's affection, while invisible, is not imperceptible. God's love shows up in our lives constantly if we have eyes to see it. Love sends the very best of itself – so God sent Jesus out of profound love for humanity. Love sacrifices without limit – so Jesus gave his life to redeem all people. And love persists through all storms – so God faithfully abides with us in every season of life.

When we know in our bones that we are beloved children of God, it transforms how we approach romantic connections. Instead of desperation, we relate to others out of overflowing abundance. Instead of seeking love, we give love freely. Anchored in divine acceptance, we extend grace and compassion to every flawed and beautiful human we encounter.