He’s just not that into you if he’s not calling you or asking you out.

Men still occupy most managerial roles in the workplace. They know how to command an office full of people, so why do so many women still dupe themselves into believing that men are incapable of picking up the phone and asking them out?

Too many women are far too eager to make excuses like, “Oh, maybe he’s just shy,” when they know deep down that’s not the case. Or, there’s the age-old excuse that he’s scared of ruining the friendship the two of you share, which women also readily accept.

At the end of the day, men like to get what they want. So, if he’s really into you, you’ll know it, because he’ll actively make an effort to pursue you in order to win you over.

When a man is attracted to a woman, either seeing her as a future girlfriend or just a hookup, he won’t be able to stop himself from trying to take things further; in other words, jeopardizing a friendship isn’t an issue for him. If a guy claims that he’s “scared” of ruining your friendship, what he’s actually saying is that he’s not into you.

To verify this claim, the authors of this book polled 20 of their male friends, aged 26 to 45, who were in long-term relationships. They found that none of their relationships started with the women asking them out first. In fact, one guy said outright that it would’ve spoiled the fun for him if his girlfriend had done so.

Another way some women try to excuse the fact that a guy hasn’t called them is by convincing themselves that he’s really busy. In reality, no guy is too busy to go for what they want.

The word “busy” serves as the weapon of mass destruction in relationships. Sure, it sounds like a reasonable excuse, but it’s used by men who can’t be bothered to call.

In the same poll, the authors found that 100 percent of the men they polled never found themselves too busy to call a woman that they were genuinely interested in.